He's one and its getting worse!!!

[reren]

My little boys sleep is at an all time worst! He i almost one and i was hoping against hope that by now he'd be sleeping through! Every so often we have a spell of really good sleep - but this week has been awful! Up every few hours and sometimes really awake when he wakes. He is doing loads of development - learning new words all the time and almost walking - seems starving when he wakes (still having breast milk at night). I try not to feed him but often i think it is hunger that wakes him...any tips from any experienced mums?? Im wondering if theres something i could feed him in the evening to keep him going? Could it be just that in times of lots of development sleep is disturbed? He is hilarious - at 3 this morning we were treated to a chorus of 'car car car car car'!!!

[Ruth_Baldock]

1) Could be a sleep regression/ wonder week. We went through something similar with our son when he was 12-15 months (ish). It was down to developmental milestones; learning to walk (and run...)learning words ('this' and 'that' were the most widely used at the time, as they remain now...)

2) Food- my son only sleeps well if he's had a good amount of protein in his daily diet. If not, you can forget about getting a good night's sleep...

I can totally commiserate. My almost 2y/o doesn't regularly sleep through any more, and the three month old is up lots in the night for milk/cuddles/epic grunting and farting. It is utterly exhausting, but I imagine it gets better?!

[newtoedf]

One thing that has helped a lot with my 10mo is making sure he gets plenty of milk during the day. He was taking very little during the day and making up for it at night. Life and his big sister were much too interesting to stop for milk... I have been scheduling feeds and taking him upstairs to feed leaving his sister safely engaged in c ee ids for 10mins if needs be. We are down to one feed a night now which is brilliant for us. As you say though there is just so much brain development going on too...

[Saffron]

If you find a "magic bullet" let us know! My daughter is nearly 2 and still doesn't sleep through the night. On a good night, she's just up once. A bad night will see her awake 2-4x. Some children just take longer to sleep through the night, and it seems nobody knows why. Husband and I are not great sleepers, so perhaps genetics.

We recently stopped breastfeeding at night, to no avail. I'm slowing working to fade out the nighttime bottles of milk too. But I'm not going to hold my breath for a miracle. Have seen several different stats on this. All seem to say that between 15-25% of children at the age of apprx 5 years old are still waking (by which I mean waking up their parents) at night.

Sigh.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Saffron, NOOOOo!!! I really hope the "science" is wrong with those numbers. Although I know it won't be- out of all 5 of us, only one of us slept through and didn't bother

y poor mum and that was me (sleep trained to the hilt...)

yawn.

[Pickle]

I would be religious about what you feed him during the day - keep a food diary and see if there's any pattern in terms of what he's eaten and good/bad nights. By 1 neither of my two were waking in the night for food, whether by good luck or good management I'm not sure.

Also worth taking a look at his sleep patterns during the day. Does he have a routine? I'm more from the routine school of bringing up kids, which I know isn't for everyone, but I'm a strong believer that it helps.

P x

[sanity girl]

My daughter has only recently started sleeping through the night aged 4 and a half! I think it's the tiring days at school that have done it. Unfortunately I'm not able to enjoy it as I also have a one year old who is following in his sister's footsteps - lots of night waking, no intention of foregoing the boob, strong-willed little chap etc etc. I shall follow this thread with interest for advice/commiseration!

[Earl Aelfheah]

My 5 month old daughter will not sleep unless being held. As soon as she's put down she starts crying. Have tried leaving her to cry (in the absence of any alternative). She'll howl for 2 hours at which point I have to give in. During the day she'll only sleep for 20 min at a time. I don't know anyone whos baby completely refuses any sleep in this way. Please tell me it's not just us.

[nikki73]

This is probably not what you want to hear but my daughter is the same, although milk isn't an issue most times. She'll be 2 next week and still wakes around 4.30/5. We had months of endless screaming between 2-4 am from 12-20 months. And if wetook her in bed with us she'd just start giggling and playing. I posted a thread about it a few months back and there were loads of tips from other parents, maybe you want to have a look for it? i think teething may havea part to play in it.And then she just doesn't like being on her own. my husband often ends up sleeping next to her. rubbish strategy but we would do anything forsome sleep.

[Saffron]

Always had a lot of trouble getting my little one to nap in any form resembling anything in any baby book. It's not just you! It's been incredibly difficult to get our daughter into any rountine, and I'm not convinced it's helped anyway. Some babies/children just aren't great sleepers. We've moved her to her own room, made sure she has plenty to eat/drink during the day, lots of activity, regular nap time (as much as is possible with this one!), quit b/fing at night, quit offering milk at night, to no avail. I'm just taking a zen approach now. She will sleep through when she's ready. We put a sm double futon in her room and got rid of the cotbed. Now I mostly sleep with her, and we both sleep better. (throws arms up in perplexed surrender)

[crystal7]

My daughter is 3 in Feb and doesn't sleep through the night very often. Mostly it's just a quick wake up but she wont settle until my OH goes and sleeps next to her (I'm too pregnant to sleep on her floor!). Not ideal but would rather not leave her shouting as she's still in a cot and wears a grobag. I know she can climb out and am worried if she tried in the sleeping bag she'd hurt herself. Planning on moving her into a bed soon but dreading it!

Not what you wanted to hear probably. At 1 her sleep was quite bad too, I put it down to teeth and my return to work. I was still breastfeeding her twice a night as she seemed hungry. Have to say when we dropped the night feeds (about 15 months) she started sleeping through (well until 5)but the 2 things may not be related. I started cuddling instead of feeding which worked quite well, although it meant she spent half the night in our bed...can't believe I'm about to do all this again!

[crystal7]

My daughter actually started napping better from about 1 but this didn't seem to make much difference to night time sleep neither does the amount she eats/runs around. Think you might be onto something Saffron!

[Saffron]

It's so tough b/c the old saying that 'every baby is different' really is true! The things that help one baby sleep, don't seem to affect another baby. The trouble is predicting which baby will be affected by what things. Ah, if we could do that, we'd publish and be millionaires.

[cuppa tea]

My conclusion is that babies/children do not like sleeping alone. Mine have never been able to do it for long. My 4.5 year old has been back in our bed for some time now. I can vaguely remember at around 2.5 when he slept in his own bed and it was all really easy, but it was probably for no more than 9 months. I think surrendering to it is absolutely fine if you are all getting sleep. I am sure it must be evolutionary. There's no way a cavewoman would have put her child to sleep in a separate cave and left them to cry...they wouldn't have been there when she woke up. It's inconvenient, but children still have those primitive brains.

[childsleepsolutions]

Hunger is unlikely to be an issue at his age but if you are concerned make sure he has protein and carbs at his last meal. If you do this then you can be sure that hunger is not an issue when he wakes and feel more confident in not feeding him. Developmental milestones also have an impact on sleep but if you make sure you do not respond too quickly and ensure you are consistent you should be able to novercome this. The stats quoted earlier are true (I'm a child sleep consultant so it keeps me in business!) but it is also true that 97% of these children can be taught to sleep better so don't let the stats make you a defeatist!!

Try and look at what he gains from his night waking, is it closeness with you, attention, a breastfeed that has led to a suck to sleep association, and remove this. It is true that some children are naturally better sleepers than others but the skill to sleep well can also be taught! Nicola

[childsleepsolutions]

Ps should also add that the above is not meant in any way judgementally, if co-sleeping or night feeding works for you then go for it!! My youngest loved being breastfed to sleep and woke once a night for this for a whole year (don't tell my colleagues!) And I dealt with it at 1 when I had enough of the nightly wake up call!!

[bobby's bear]

No advice here, just sympathy! I have a 13 month old and we have always struggled with her sleep. We had a month recently (when she was about 11 mo) when she slept 7-7 and we thought that was it cracked, but nicely timed with my return to work she has started waking at 4am and crying alot in her cot, but when I bring her into bed and try and feed her back to sleep she thinks it is playtime, usually after 30-60 mins of trying to persuade her to sleep with us, I have enough, put her back in her cot at which point she promptly closes her eyes and goes to sleep, now if only she would do that without the 60 mins of preceeding singing, hand clapping and pulling Mummy's hair! I think other posters are right though there must be some genetic component, neither hubby or I are great sleepers and we are often awake in the night and struggle to fall asleep ourselves.

[snowboarder]

At 11m with my first son I broke completely - his sleep was always bad and I just fed him back to sleep when he woke - and even that was starting not to work. We got someone in to help us. I understand that this solution is not for everyone, indeed may not work for everyone and you have to chose who you get in carefully to make sure you can sign up to their 'methods'. Sleep (or not) seemed to be a behavioural problem for my son rather than to do with anything more physical such as hunger/teething. Anyway 1.5 yrs on and I can count on one hand the number of times he has woken in the night since then (hope am not jinxing it!!).

[newtoedf]

Have just remembered the health visitor who saw us for M's 8 month check suggested a drop-in sleep clinic at the walworth clinic. I haven't been as we had bigger issues than sleep to worry about for a while and sleep is much better now but I do have the details:

"walworth clinic

Larcom street

SE17 1RY

Every Thursday 2.00 - 3.30pm

A drop-in service for children birth to 4 years from the health visiting team

For more information call Lesley on 02030498615 or just turn up on Thursday"

The Wednesday baby group at Ivydale children's centre also had a visit from a sleep specialist recently, not sure if another session is planned.

Much sympathy for everyone who's struggling, long term sleep deprivation is just awful.

[reren]

Just wanted to thank everyone for all the advice and sympathy! I think the protein point has been a really useful tip for us - he is doing much better since then - though there is still a v annoying 1 or 2 am wakeup some nights...what is interesting to me is that although i always fear creating bad habits etc - his sleep seems to be completely unrelated to what we do! We are pretty consistent with what we do - but his behaviour changes all the time! One month he falls into a really good pattern, few weeks later we are in hell, then a few weeks later its shifted again and he's doing something new! The worst ever is wide awake for an hour at 3am - but thank god that has been rare! Currently we're trying to wear him out as much as possible, feed him protein at dinner, and trying to remember how much we love him and how gorgeous he is even when we feel like chucking him out the window at 4am!!

[Pickle]

I'm glad things are better, that's great news. I'm pretty sure most parents have had those middle of the night moments where you wonder whether eBay or freecycle would be the best option for their screaming bundle of "joy".

Here's hoping things continue to improve for you.

[Saffron]

Yes, we feel the same around here. :-) The author Penelope Leach has a nice thing to say about child-rearing in general which also applies to sleep issues. If you try something once, and it doesn't work, don't discard it. It's worth trying again later. Every few months we re-evaluate how our sleep situation is working (or not!) for us. Even though Little Saff is still a rubbish sleeper, we have been able to make some improvements. I think the most important thing to realize is that you're not stuck. Things can and will change. Happy sleeping xxx