Kings - partners staying overnight FEEDBACK

[KatsuQueen]

Hi, just wondered if anyone has had recent experience of giving birth at Kings. I've heard that partners are now allowed to stay overnight in the post-natal ward, is this true? Any tips would be much appreciated eg did you bring your own mattress, bedding etc for your partner?

Also, I was wondering if it was worth trying to get a private room? When I had Minikatsu, we were in William Gilliat for nearly a week and it was difficult in the ward, neither of us could get any sleep. Hopefully, this I won't be in there for that long and to be honest, I doubt we could swing it money-wise anyway. BUT, just so I have explored all options - is there such as option? And how much do they cost? Is it worth it?

Any advice gratefully received!

Hi - just in case anyone is searching for info about this, I have just got back from Kings and this time round was much better than my previous stay in early 2009. I don;t know if I was lucky and it wasn;t too busy or if they have had a overhaul of the systems etc, but this time round I felt the staff (midmives, maternity support staff etc) had much more time and I really cannot fault their care and attention.

Sterile bottles and teats are freely available, you don't have to ask, just get them from the kitchen.

Partners can definitely stay overnight - we didn;t even have to ask anyone. MrKatsu brought in a self-inflating sleeping mat (Vango - the thickest one) and a thin blanket which was fine for short naps during the night. It is impossible to sleep on the upright chairs. The wards are impossibly hot so bring in flip flops (for partners too). For obvious reasons partners have to be fully clothed at all times, but MrKatsu also had a pair of shorts which he changed into once the wards were "quiet" for the night.

There is room to lie the mat on either side of the bed if you rearrange the cot.

I asked for a side room but none were available, but it was OK - I was only in for 2 nights and the other people on the ward were really considerate at night.

We tried to be as discreet as possible ie no talking after lights out and MrKatsu didn't wander around the ward outside visiting times.

I had an elective c-section so if any one has any specific questions about that, then PM me. Don't know if I will be able to reply promptly as I am still in post baby haze!

(Edited for feedback)

[sunbob]

I went to the labour ward tour a couple weeks ago and the leader said that the staying over thing had just been a pilot/trial. She seemed to say that you could now ask permission individually but it was a bit vague.

[Fuschia]

You can't psy for an individual room

When I was pg a year ago we met with the manager of the post natal ward and consultant midwife snd had it Agreed dp could stay with me if I needed him (hospital phobia) - they managed to put me I

a separate room for all but one night, to facilitate this

(Although in the end I had well over a week as an impatient before and after the birth for vsrious reasons, I msbGed on my own for all but the first night of admission)

At that time, men were not allowed pm

The main ward overnight

[Pickle]

I guess it's an individual thing, but I have always preferred Mr Pickle to go home and get a good night's rest, so that he's more useful when we get home! I've never slept well on the post natal ward, and doubt very much that it would be comfortable for partners. Hopefully this time round you won't need to stay as long, fingers crossed for you.

[Belle]

Hi - my husband was allowed to stay when I had my son nearly 2 wks ago - my midwives (brierley) had already assuredme of this so didn't even ask permissiOn. He did haveto sleep on the chair but I felt so much better having him there and as I was quite shaky at first it meant he cd eg do first few nappy changes, fetch my breakfast - even helped with my first shower! I did see the sign about it being a pilot from earlier in the year but we weren't questionedby anyone.

[sb]

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[sillywoman]

No permission needed. Dads can stay if they/Mum want it. It was initially a trial, but has been extended indefinitely becuase of the very positive feedback. Not a mixed ward sb, nothing like - Dad's can't use bath/shower facilities. No beds or bedding are provided, only a chair to sleep in. If you want to take a bedroll for them then you can but actually there's not that much floor space. The Mums I know who've had the Dads stay over have said mostly Dad ends up sleeping on the bed with them. The new system seems to work very well; those who prefer for their partners to go home & sleep so as to be useful next day do just that. Those that need some extra help (maybe caesarean Mums, or those who are very anxious, or who've had a very long and exhausting labour, or just who need someone there for support) can have their partners stay over night. Partners are expected to respect the fact that they're in a ward full of postnatal women - any that don't will be required to leave. There are partners there all day, so why would having some of them there during the night hours be any less respectful of your privacy?

There are no 'private' rooms in the sense you mean katsuqueen, but there are individual rooms that it might be possible to have if you ask. They're usually kept for women who've had very traumatic deliveries, or have very ill babies - perhaps in NICU, or who've had a still birth. Obviously those women would have priority. If the rooms are free though & it's fairly quiet on the ward then you might be able to have one if you ask.

[Belle]

We had our curtains closed as did most of the others so privacy not an issue - and during the day the other patients' guests were plentiful and loud so didn't feel too bad about my quiet husband :)

I think had I been in more than one night perhaps I'd have sent him home, esp given I had my 2.8 yr old to think about but I am so glad that night was possible - wish it had been last time. Also think smart financial move as husbands prob end up doing things you'd have to ask healthcare assts or midwives for otherwise - shower, breakfast , clean bed linen, also chasing up on medical care.

[snowboarder]

I did get a single room after my baby was born in february - I thought I had just lucked out but actually it was because we had to stay in a week as the baby wasn't well - so poison chalice!! It made all the difference though - I would totally have lost it on the ward (last time was there for nearly a week too so know how you feel..). If it looks like you might be in a couple of days absolutely worth making a fuss.

[ladywotlunches]

Oh, this is such a great idea! When I had number 2, we were in the labour room until 1am post-birth. We (all) had nicely settled down to sleep, when in came the lady to move us, apologising that it had taken so long. TBH, we thought that as we only had another 6 hours of monitoring before we could go home and the LW was quiet, that they had just left us there til morning. But no, so off we all decamped to WG ward. Whereupon, the transfer lady parked us in, and said to my husband, "Right, time for you to go now, no partners allowed in here at night". So off he was sent literally within 10 minutes of me getting transferred, leaving me just as LO woke up and threw up her first big feed all over herself.

I also think that Dads going home for a good nights sleep is a good idea, but a bit of flexibility was all I think it needed at the time. Now they have it - hurrah!

[KatsuQueen]

Thanks everyone for all your helpful responses. It looks like I will be having a caesarian again, and one of my worries is feeding in the first early days. One of my closest friends had a Caesarian and basically couldn't really feed her son, didn't get the help/care she need - finally her baby ended up in Intensive Care because he had got badly dehydrated! while he was in a hospital...!

When I had MiniKatsu I was so paranoid about this, the first night afetr my Caesarian I begged my husband to get him to stay in the NICU that night even though it meant I wouldn;t see him for another day. Because then I knew he would be fed and looked after for one night at least.

And I know there are women who are up and about after the C-sections, but frankly I could hardly move till the next day. I remember a nurse (auxiliary) walking me to the shower and leaving me there. When my maternity pad fell on the floor and I just couldn;t bend down to pick it up - I had to flag down a nurse (?) to help me and I remember she wasn;t impressed. (Might be oversharing here, sorry)

Pickle, I know what you mean about him getting a good night's rest - I am hoping that he will be able to get a proper sleep at home during the day. There just seems to be more help available during the day, and at night you are bascailly left on your won to cope (or not).

[sillywoman]

top-tip from one of my Mums; tie a dressing gown cord to the end of the hospital bed to make it easier to pull yourself into sitting position post CS.

[ladyruskin]

My husband ended up bringing in a couple of camping mats to sleep on after 3 nights in the hospital chair. Not the most comfortable night's sleep but post c-section I found it invaluable having him there.

[Otta]

Officially I don't think us blokes are allowed to stay now, as it was a pilot.

They are very relaxed on the ward though, and probably wouldn't chuck him out.

Bare in mind though, that there are women there who have been through a lot, and really won't like strange men being there all night. My wife was kept awake all night on a couple of occasions because a selfish couple wouldn't shut up. It's difficult enough to sleep, without people acting like they're the only people there.

Not trying to say you'd act this way, but be warned that others may not be pleased.

[sillywoman]

yes you are Otta, the pilot was successful so they've extended it indefinitely. Dads - like Mums- are expected to respect the ward rules, & the fact that the women & babies there are recovering from childbirth. They're not allowed to use that bath/shower facilities.

[Otta]

Dads - like Mums- are expected to respect the ward rules, & the fact that the women & babies there are recovering from childbirth.

Expected to yes...

Personally, I don't think it's a good idea, but that's just me.

[KatsuQueen]

Hi Otta, I know what you mean, but I'm guessing that your wife didn't have a Caesarian? Because it's really difficult when you can hardly move, to get out of bed in the middle of the night (in my case, with drip and catheter in place) to lift your baby out of the "fishtank". Let alone feed, comfort or change nappies! Not that I'm trying to gain sympathy or anything, but just saying....

Totally understand about inconsiderate people, but I think it's a great idea. If it's any consolation, I found it impossible to sleep on the wards too, even when partners were sent home at 10pm. Babies would cry and wake each other up (it was like a chorus of crying babies), people were on the phone, there was always an "call" going off i.e. someone trying to get help from a midwife.

[Ruth_Baldock]

My first baby, born December 2009, was a c/s and not having my partner there

are nights absolutely impossible. The first night, I was so out of it from my GA that I slept through my son waking for a feed and another patient woke me saying he'd been screaming his head off for at least half an hour. Mortified. I had zero support from the staff for everything else too and the whole thing was a nightmare.

Second time round, 12 weeks ago, my husband stayed with me on the pn ward and the experience was immeasurably better. Even just having someone there to laugh with over the baby's piggy noises (constant snorting and farting) made all th difference. I think the scheme is a brilliant idea, and IME, patients daytime guests were far more inconsiderate than the other ladies partners staying overnight.

[Belle]

thing is with newborns there's little difference between night and day, and obviously you just sleep when they let you. Quite often (in my experience anyway) that's in the day, which is far noisier on the ward - it's not like nightime is necessarily natural sleeping time for them. my first wanted to be held all night long so I was up anyway! He was prob starving, poor wee thing, as we had feeding issues, and def made a lot more noise than my husband did the other night (in fact he slept all night in the chair whilst I was wired on adrenalin and just cuddling and feeding baby the whole time). it's obviously a personal thing but I think on balance women feeling supported is prob more important than the other factors, and as I said before I'm guessing it takes the strain off some of the staff.

katsuqueen - not sure if you'll remember but I did get offered a private room for our final two nights. This was because I was trying to discharge myself after 6 nights with no sleep. they recognised I needed my husband with me to help in the nights, and I was ill with post natal pre eclampsia so they gave us the room to allow him to stay. So I think in certain circumstances there's def a case to be made. I have heard though of people paying for a private room - might be worth ringing kings?

[Otta]

Hi Otta, I know what you mean, but I'm guessing that your wife didn't have a Caesarian?

She did with our second daughter in July. I couldn't really have stayed though, as had our 2 year old to look after. She did find it difficult the first night, and I wish I could have been there for her, and probably would have stayed had it been possible.

For the most part though, my personal opinion is that partners should spend the night in the pub! :)-D

[sb]

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[Ruth_Baldock]

Good GOD! But...the mind boggles.

[awilliams123]

This is really good news. I had my DS 7 months ago at kings and hubby was not allowed to stay overnight. Had had an emergency c-section and it was horrible. One night he jsut stayed after visiting hours and we kept quiet as we could so they wouldn't find out the was still there (stupid I know) but of course they did...they did insist he leave but I insisted he stay and siad that I wouldn't stay if he had to go. I was knackered, immobile due to surgery and I didn't find the night staff particularily helpful, infact I had a couple of very rude people in my experience.

If partners are now being allowed to stay overnight, this can only be a good thing, especially in post c-section cases.

[KatsuQueen]

sb, trying for a second baby in the ward...wow. It was months before I stopped saying "Get the hell away from me!" if MrKatsu so much as looked at me in an "interested" way. :)

[sb]

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