Things your parents did that you now realise were bonkers

[hellosailor]

Was just telling a friend earlier that when I was little, probably about 8, my mum paid for me to have tap dancing classes but wouldn't pay for me to have tap shoes, so consequently I have some rather comedy memories of standing in a row of little girls dressed in pink leotards and all tap tap tapping away doing nifty shuffle ball changes, while I silently scuffed the floor next to them like a confused horse, wearing my usual clarks school shoes with a rubber sole.

I have always remembered this without really questioning it, but when my friend fell about with mirth I realised...it is quite odd! If she was going to fork out for tap lessons - why not buy a pair of second hand tap shoes? Or why not pick another type of class?! Or take me to the park for free? Random!

Memorably, another friend was religiously told by his dad that dried up white dog poo on the pavement were 'baby seals.'

What stuff did your parents do that looking back, particularly if you've had now had your own children, seems a bit, well, strange?

[Ruth_Baldock]

My Mum paid for us all to go to Private school so that we all had a "better chance" of getting into Uni...which she couldn't afford to help us with. Consequently, every single one of us is 30k+ in debt. Should have sent us to the local comprehensive and used the ??? for uni!

Also, she gave us all names she didn't like and called us by the name she liked, as a nickname (Like me, entire family call me Ruby. To quote the Ting Tings, that's not my name...)

[sophiechristophy]

My dad left me and my sister locked in a car when we were primary school age, parked in a conference centre car park for 4 hours while he went in and attended the conference... WTF.

[womanofdulwich]

my dad refused to let me learn to make fishcakes at school as it was "fish that had been mucked about with" oh the embarrassment. Luckily when it came to quiche ( " cheese that has been mucked about with") my Mum stepped in and I was allowed to cook it.

[BB100]

My mother used to regularly complain when I wiped my nose with toilet paper telling me I should use tissues. But she never bought any tissues and I never thought to tell her that.

[HollieES]

I was quite fond of fancy dress. I desperately wanted to be a princess, or something with glittery wings, or anything pink involving a dress. My mum had other ideas. She wanted me to be "original" so one year I got dressed up as Noddy. Yes, Noddy, you know - the one with the blue shorts and the weird hat. I remember that the local newspaper came to our school to take a photo...a bunch of girls dressed as Cinderella or the like, the boys dressed as various superheroes, and Noddy.

In the next episode, I was dressed up as a dice. Unfortunately, my mum hadn't factored in doorways when plonking a giant cardboard box over my head, so I couldn't manoeuvre from room to room without stripping down to my vest. The fairies did not have this problem.

Thanks mum.

[Saffron]

Parents (and other adults too!) were always telling us to cover our mouth/nose with our hand when we coughed or sneezed, even if you didn't have a tissue. I could never figure out how this was helpful, b/c of course then the germs are just on your hand!! Now the advice from the Health Dept is to cough or sneeze into your elbow if a tissue is not immediately available. Duh!!!

[birnehelene]

In order to prevent me from sticking my hand or arms out of the car windows whilst driving, my mum told me that I would get skin cancer. It certainly worked for years, at 13 I was still petrified. Not sure when I finally worked out that it wasn't true but for many years I still had a weird feeling if I only poked a finger out of the car window when driving. Apparently my auntie was always appalled by my mum's story but couldn't bring herself to question the approach. My mum now laughs it off, but just says that it worked. However, she didn't use it on my little brother (16 years my junior)...

[hellosailor]

HollieES Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> My mum had other ideas. She wanted me to be

> "original" so one year I got dressed up as Noddy.

> Yes, Noddy, you know - the one with the blue

> shorts and the weird hat. I remember that the

> local newspaper came to our school to take a

> photo...a bunch of girls dressed as Cinderella or

> the like, the boys dressed as various superheroes,

> and Noddy.

>

You have just reminded me that my mum made me go to a fancy dress party when I was about 5 dressed as... a poacher. I have no idea what the inspiration for this was. I had a beard drawn on and sack-cloth up my legs, and she took the clothes off my cuddly toy rabbit family, tied them all together by their legs with string round their ankles, tied the strung up toy rabbits to a pole and made me carry that round all afternoon. The other girls were mostly Dorothy, Princess etc.

>

[mockney piers]

"You have just reminded me that my mum made me go to a fancy dress party when I was about 5 dressed as... a poacher. I have no idea what the inspiration for this was. I had a beard drawn on and sack-cloth up my legs, and she took the clothes off my cuddly toy rabbit family, tied them all together by their legs with string round their ankles, tied the strung up toy rabbits to a pole and made me carry that round all afternoon. The other girls were mostly Dorothy, Princess etc."

That's genius!!!!

[Pickle]

Hellosailor that made me laugh, how funny! Very clever (my Mum always sent me as a nurse, wearing a white apron and one of my brother's terry square cloth nappies folded into a hat with a red cross drawn on it!).

[hellosailor]

I longed for a nurse. I got a poacher. What must the other parents have thought about the strung up bunnies...

[Pickle]

At least they were toy bunnies - in rural New Zealand chances are they would have been real ones :)

[Smiler]

Love the dressing-up stories. Your mums were so original!

My parents' things were mainly to do with the house. They both worked full-time and were always tired and short of time and money, the house needed lots doing and neither had DIY skills. So they cut corners. Some examples:

- Concertina plastic doors for the bathroom and loo (with no locks).

- After too many spillages, they replaced the old carpet downstairs with office carpet tiles.

- Tarmac over the whole garden (front and back) to avoid gardening.

- Replacing six dining chairs with six bright blue office swivel chairs on wheels. My dad still maintains this was a good idea: practical and good value-for-money. He would swivel round and round during family meals. This was mortifying when friends came round for tea.

They let my brother and I have free reign in "decorating" our rooms, writing on the walls etc. But the deal was that we had no budget so I lived with fluffy blue and white clouds until I left home at 18.

My brother, Mr Smiler and I often take the piss, but never to the parents' face 'cos they'd be upset.

They have now, finally, got rid of some of this stuff, but the irony is, that when they visit our house they are critical of the decor! :))

[millymoo]

My Mum used to tell me if I didn't finish my dinner that she would put it on top of the fridge (not in the fridge) and I would have to eat it for breakfast the next day. I can never remember her following through with the threat but that's probably because the threat worked and I always ate my dinner. To this day I struggle to leave food on my plate even when I'm full.

My parents use to send us to Sunday school with the religious family who lived next door just so they could have sunday's to themselves. My parents are not religious at all. Luckily we loved it! I just loved all the singing that went on. To this day we still torture our parents with all the sunday school songs we learnt.

[Smiler]

Millymoo, the church thing is quite inspired!

[Yak]

Some great bonkers parenting moments on this thread, which makes me wonder what the next generation will say about our parenting decisions in 20 / 30 years time....

For more years than I care to admit, I was forced to go to ballet classes. Ideal for small, petite girls. Not a good choice for an unco-ordinated and lanky tomboy - I'm 5'11" now and was always a head higher than my contemporaries. So I was consigned to be dressed up as the snowman around which everyone danced the snow dance, or - in my crowning moment - standing behind a windmill to turn the sails while everyone else did a clog dance.

Yet when I asked to join the local athletics club after running 100m in 12.9 secs aged 13, my parents said no. Baffling.

[BellendenBear]

After reading HollieES's post I know what my daughter will be saying about me in 30 years time. She recently had her face painted for the first time. I didn't want her to have anything naff like flowers or butterflies (I don't get the whole pink princess/fairy thing) so she was a pirate. A pirate with a moustache and big ginger beard!

HollieES Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I was quite fond of fancy dress. I desperately

> wanted to be a princess, or something with

> glittery wings, or anything pink involving a

> dress. My mum had other ideas. She wanted me to be

> "original" so one year I got dressed up as Noddy.

> Yes, Noddy, you know - the one with the blue

> shorts and the weird hat. I remember that the

> local newspaper came to our school to take a

> photo...a bunch of girls dressed as Cinderella or

> the like, the boys dressed as various superheroes,

> and Noddy.

>

> In the next episode, I was dressed up as a dice.

> Unfortunately, my mum hadn't factored in doorways

> when plonking a giant cardboard box over my head,

> so I couldn't manoeuvre from room to room without

> stripping down to my vest. The fairies did not

> have this problem.

>

> Thanks mum.

[ad2000]

Just read this entire thread in a oner. Can't breath for laughing. Thank you. Just thank you....!

[KateW]

Not really child related (apart from the fact that it baffled me and my sister at the time - this was 30 odd years ago) but my Dad painted our garage floor red. No explanation that I can recall. It wore off, unsurprisingly, within a year or so and he never bothered repainting it. Wierd.

PS. LOVING this thread!

[jennyh]

And another dressing up story -

Picture the scene...Easter bonnet parade, lots of cute kids with various baskets of little chocolate eggs and fluffy chicks etc. My mum decapitated a large toy rabbit and pulled the stuffing out of its head and cut the face off and shoved it over my head. That was it.

[The Nappy Lady]

My Dad used to wedge a flame gun (attached to a gas canister) in the bottom of the parkray stove to get it going - for an hour or so while he went down the field to milk the goats. Found out years later he didn't believe in home insurance & no one had smoke alarms back then. I'd sit there watching TV with the thing roaring away a few feet away.

Then, down the previously mentioned field there was the remains of a huge old barn made of corrugated iron panels which were leant against a fence - my friends & I used to slide down them to my parents cry of "do be careful of the sharp rusty edges darlings"....

And, blimey just remembered riding back home perched on top of 50 odd hay bales stacked on top of a trailer pulled by a tractor.... 20 minutes down country lanes & an A road.

Jeez it's a wonder I made it to adulthood really now I think about it!

[hellosailor]

mwahahahahaha! love these stories!

Yak, yours made me remember that when I did ballet classes at the same age as tap classes (think I actually had ballet shoes for this rather than rubber soles, will check with my mum) we did a little performance and I was cast as 'a drunk'. Again, never questioned it until I just remembered it, but seriously, why would a ballet teacher cast an 8 year old girl in a leotard as 'a drunk.' Vividly recall being very jealous that my friend was playing Madonna.

I don't think this would necessarily happen in 2011.

[lstickler]

My mum once put my pet hamster which was dead (or very near death) in the oven (on a very low heat) to warm it up and brought it back to life?! Poor old hamster waking up on a baking tray!??? I have still never questioned her logic behind this.

[hellosailor]

istickler, how long did hamster live after this episode?

Because if it was for sometime, your mum may just have made the most important breakthrough in 21st century medicine