Bind man in Dulwich,Herne hill areas

[sabrina79]

Hi to all,

I would like to share my own sadly experience I had a week ago in Herne Hill just opposite Brockwell Lido.

I also would like to hear if someone else had this type of experience.

I was crossing the road for going to swim at the Lido and I saw a blind guy with only a stick trying to cross the road. It was not safe for him so I decided to help him to cross the road . I saw this guy ,never spoke before. He used to have a dog ,now sadly dead. He walks around the area and living in East Dulwich.

We started to talk and I waited with him for the bus 37 . At some point he grabbed me and kissed me in the face and mouth! I was shocked and I tried to push me away and tell him to stop. After when I shouted with :is emough now! he did let me go. I did not know how to behave but I said to him that I don t like the way he jumped on me and if he was not behaving I was living him there. Eventually he understood.Bus came and I said bye.

Usually I like to help people in need but now I am scared. It never happened to me before.Do someone of you know this guy? He has more than 50 yo.

Thanks

[Pugwash]

Yes he is well known in the Dulwich area and lives in Lordship Lane. During the warmer months he swims daily at Brockwell Lido.

He is known to have inappropriate behaviour with females and you have to be very strict with him about invading your personal space. Those of us who have known him for years, do not encourage him to be familiar with us. He is well known to local councillors as he has been fighting for years to get a pelican crossing at the Grove Tavern end of Lordship Lane especially as there is a sheltered housing complex there for visually impaired residents.

I have not seen or talked with him for several months although I heard that his dog (Adam) died. He lives alone and often strikes up conversations with strangers. I have never known him to behave as you describe with total strangers.

[sabrina79]

Thank you for your message. I always saw him at Brockwell lido , Forest Hill and Dulwich but never been so close and never spoke to him a part that day!

I felt so vulnerable in that moment and no one was there to help me....typical!

Considering he is a disabled person you can t be so aggressive but....

He said that we want to find a woman to marry because he has been single for so long! I thought quiete lonely he sounded! That is why I tried to keep calm and be more patient with him but next time I don t know if I will help a disabled guy...this made me scared! :(

[Gaynor Hill]

Yes I know him it happen to a friend of mine a couple of years ago

[JohnL]

I'd think a slap across the face won't be worse because you're disabled, mind you people are so different about kissing and personal space I'd say maybe one clear warning is appropriate.

I have noticed kissing on the cheek is more acceptable in some cases these days in the UK and maybe some men can't get the right time to do it especially when they're a long time single.

[sabrina79]

indeed John!but no one like to be hold by the arms and kissed few times in the mouth!IThe only thing I was able to move were my legs and head!no from a friend especially not from a stranger!

[Pugwash]

He used to meet up with friends in Forest Hill so I am wondering whether they have moved or died. He has asked me to marry him frequently over the last 10 years, even suggesting that I divorce my husband!. Of course this is done in a jokey manner. I have the impression that he may be autistic as he does lack social skills at times and can act or speak inappropriately. He can be a generous man and has a fantastic memory especially if you engage him in discussion about films and TV programmes

[Sue]

I was at the bus stop outside the old police station/new school at the bottom of Whateley Road a few weeks back, and a blind man (with a white stick) staggered off a bus with another man, both shouting at each other and the blind man clutching a can. I think it was in the afternoon, certainly in the daytime.

I thought they were having a row, but I think they were friends :)) They continued to reel about and shout at each other at the bus stop.

The blind man (and possibly his friend, I can't remember) then got on another bus going in the same direction, so I'm not sure if they were chucked off the first bus :))

He got off that bus at the stop before the Horniman stop and headed off in the direction of the Horniman. I got off at the same stop and headed off in the other direction :)

Does that sound like the same guy? I thought it was all a bit odd.

[Pugwash]

Does not sound like my guy,. I also know that he is not a drinker he prefers his coffee to alcohol - never seen him with booze. He does talk loudly, but never seen him reel about. If he got off at the stop before Horniman, he would need to walk back towards Underhill to his flat. Last time I heard about him was that he was singing in the St. Christopher's' Hospice Choir.

[sabrina79]

Hi Sue, no I dn t think it was him.Never saw him drunk like Pugwash said.

Might be he suffer of autism , indeed and is lonely . So desperate to find a partner.....yes you can hxve a deep conversation but still he need to control his hormones.....

[Passiflora]

Disabled or not, if this happened to me or one of my daughters I would report him to the police.

[sabrina79]

You are right Passiflora,

I have been to good and undersanding because of his disability.

But I was in shock and the only thing in my mind was to run away from him.

Still, I waited for his bus with him.

I will never do it again.

[alice]

It is not too late to report him to police.

[Pugwash]

Since his actual address is not known it would be difficult to make contact with the appropriate SNT - he may come under Dulwich Hill police patch

[sabrina79]

I don t know Alice. Is my words with his . No witnesses so it would be a waste of time to report him to police and is not an emergency. I don t think he is a dangerous persom. Also I don t know what police can do regarding it. Like I heard from EDF he is well know in east dulwich. No one has reported him yet. Do you think I have to?

[Pugwash]

It is possible that regular police officers in the ED area know him as he has been living in this area for 10/15 years possibly longer. We have only known him since he was made redundant and was about during the day. His previous dog was a black Labrador who was retired due to old age. I do not think he realises that women do not like his advances. I would suggest that you speak to your local police officer and ask their advice. If they know him, they are likely to give him a friendly warning.

[Passiflora]

Edited

[OutOfFocus]

Safer Neighborhood Team

https://www.met.police.uk/a/your-area/met/southwark/goose-green/

I would hope if you contacted the "wrong" one they would pass it on.

[sabrina79]

Pugwash,

He had a golden retriver (beige) not a black labrador. Called Adam. And he died.

I wonder if we are talking about the same person ?! 🤔.

Thank you so much guys. Your support and your advise helped me a lot. I will contact the safer neighbourhood team . I don t want it will happens again especially to someone younger and fragile than me!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

"I do not think he realises that women do not like his advances."

If it is the person I think it is (name begins with B), then he has been told repeatedly that this behaviour is unacceptable - and I am going back over 10 years. He was banned from a community space because of it.

It is assault and it should be dealt with by the police.

[alice]

A good decision Sabrina - the fact that he held your arms down shows he is well aware that he is committing a sexual assault. I definitely think more than a ?friendly warning? is needed.

[beansprout]

This is getting abit out of hand.!

I know of him if it is the same person and from what has been said, pretty sure it is.He is harmless and doesn't mean to offend - he does need strong guidelines/ boundaries and is fine. He isn't aggressive in any way and in fact is a talented pianist.

Can't offer any more assistance as I have no idea where he lives - somewhere off Lordship Lane.

[Sue]

beansprout Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> This is getting abit out of hand.!

>

> I know of him if it is the same person and from

> what has been said, pretty sure it is.He is

> harmless and doesn't mean to offend - he does need

> strong guidelines/ boundaries and is fine.

He grabs somebody and forcibly kisses them and you think that is "harmless"?

What strong guidelines/boundaries do you expect somebody to give him who was just helping him to cross the road?

What do you mean, he "doesn't mean to offend"? How else could you (or he) possibly describe his behaviour except as offensive?

[robbin]

A couple of observations - (i) being disabled neither makes him a nice person, now excuses bad/criminal behaviour from him. His disability did not seem to stop him assaulting you, so I don't think he needs to be given any latitude for that reason. (ii) it would be wrong now to be scared of helping any disabled person because of this awful man - that would be suggesting all disabled people are the same and that makes no sense (I suspect you didn't mean to suggest that when you said "but next time I don't know if I will help a disabled guy...this made me scared!").

The bottom line is that you were doing a good thing and were repaid by this individual behaving very badly and assaulting you. IMO he should be warned again (by the police) that he cannot assault people like that(and not in a 'friendly' way - because clearly he has already been told before to no avail) .

[rendelharris]

beansprout Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> This is getting abit out of hand.!

>

> I know of him if it is the same person and from

> what has been said, pretty sure it is.He is

> harmless and doesn't mean to offend - he does need

> strong guidelines/ boundaries and is fine. He

> isn't aggressive in any way and in fact is a

> talented pianist.

>

> Can't offer any more assistance as I have no idea

> where he lives - somewhere off Lordship Lane.

Seriously? What the OP has described is, as noted by others, a sexual assault by a perpetrator who has apparently significant form in this area. Would you be happy for a daughter of yours to be assaulted in this way and just say it's harmless? "He does need strong guidelines/boundaries and is fine" - what, so if someone's subject to what was clearly an upsetting assault it's really their fault for not giving him boundaries and guidelines?

Being a talented pianist is not necessarily a block to being sexually aggressive, you know.

Honestly, I find your whole post quite extraordinary.