Can we have a General issues/gossip topic?

[batdog]

Hey D-Mum,

I don't believe it for a million dollars... Is it really you writing all this stuff on giving up everything ? No someone must have hacked your forum ID... ;-)

[dulwichmum]

Dear (darling) Mr Batdog,

You are off to climates new very soon (without any intention of keeping in touch with us here in the forum - you will toss us to one side like an old ball), and as a result my days will be dull and dark. I may as well take the plunge and make some Lenten sacrifices. I really don't know what has come over me. Perhaps I am hormonal?

I told the man in Threshers tonight, he can sell my special chablis to all and sundry, I care not what the future brings. Soon my liver will be cleansed, and I shall have the figure of a small twiglet. I intend to waste away in the manner of a fretting pet.

[Huguenot]

DM this is an outrage, can you really have Franklin's Rarebit in Lent? Cheese, beer and probably a Dire Straits theme? Bread, you monkey, and let's be glad if the sun rises tomorrow...

[batdog]

Hi Huguenot,

Are you some meteo guru ? The sun is up today as per your wish (tu)... If that's the case, please keep doing it every night.

D-Mum, I shall think of you and all the wise EDforum people next week when I will be in better climates... In the mean time do not "sacrifice" too much !!

[dulwichmum]

Dear Batdog,

I will try to keep my sense of humour - I will not give that up knowingly.

Am I the only one? Is anyone else giving up anything for lent? Mr Huguenot - how about you? I am not quite up for bread and water - but I am giving up wine, crisps and sweeties.

[Huguenot]

I'm afraid that my own deity, consisting largely of eggs and wheat, would likely look down his noodly appendage at a fad that precluded said consumption - take, eat, this is my body, said he: FSM. Fasting would be like rejecting the communion, one should not waste good eggs on pancakes.

However, I shall consult Him directly through a moment of quiet contemplation, but I suspect His recommendation will match exactly what I want to do anyway, which is go down the pub. However, it will be His recommendation that I use to persuade others of this course of action, and thus increase my hold over them. I may even crown myself Pontifex Maximus to convey to others the close personal dialogue I share with Him.

[Huguenot]

Incidentally DM, whilst I hope I'm too polite to press gang you to share my own convictions, Bertrand Russell once constructed a very convincing argument for the worship of a teapot, which I would imagine may be right up your street (as it were...)! He does highlight the need for both persistence and the passage of time, but hey, you only get out what you put in:

"If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes.

"But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time."

Now there's one for the playgroup.... ;-)

[mockney piers]

Lol, love it. I was harangued by an Argentinian tour guide on a two day drive around the riojan and san juanino national parks in a clapped out ford sierra about the merits of betran roose. After reading that I may have to check out his stuff after all.

[Huguenot]

Do you know, even Richard Dawkins, an otherwise anti-faith campaigner, was a staunch believer in teapotism. He was drawn particularly to its pacific and inclusive nature:

"The reason [other] organized religion merits outright hostility is that, unlike belief in [Dulwich Mum]'s teapot, religion is powerful, influential, tax-exempt and systematically passed on to children too young to defend themselves.

"Children are not compelled to spend their formative years memorizing loony books about teapots. Government-subsidized schools don't exclude children whose parents prefer the wrong shape of teapot.

"Teapot-believers don't stone teapot-unbelievers, teapot-apostates, teapot-heretics and teapot-blasphemers to death. Mothers don't warn their sons off marrying teapot-shiksas whose parents believe in three teapots rather than one. People who put the milk in first don't kneecap those who put the tea in first."

Persuasive eh? And that's coming from me a devout pastafarian. Or not. Whatever's convenient.

[Keef]

I would just like to chip in that nothing that goes in to a pancake is a waste!!! Mmmmm pancakes *dribbles*.

I actually have to make pancakes for my better half tonight, as she went to yoga last night and there was no time. I know we're meant to be fasting and all that, but as it's Ash Wednesday, I'll be sure to have a smoke ;-)

I can't understand the whole giving things up for lent thing, I mean I'm not a big believer, but even if I had a very powerful faith, I don't think I could convince myself that giving up the beers or crisps for a month and a half would be quite the same as spending 40 days and nights fasting in a dessert! I bet Mary Magdaline didn't treat Jesus to a chocolate egg when she met him by the tomb either.... What is that all about?!?!?!? Could it be the pagan fertility festival that just happened to fall at easter :-S

As an aside, CrystalClear told me last night that he "can't" give anything up for lent, as his birthday falls in the middle of it, and that would ruin the day.... Hardly a good christian attitude sir! :)-D

[mockney piers]

According to Mercury Rev, "Mary Magdalene had it real bad". I've no idea what they meant, but perhaps they were referring to chocolate cravings. I seem to recall that Thor Heyerdal proved that the ancient Egyptians _might_ have discovered south america and put up big heads there *whatever*, so i guess they also _might_ have brought back chocolate with them, ultimately giving rise to the aforementioned craving.

Of course CrystalClear has no need to worry, his own brand of belief in the saints fills us all with great pity and sympathy, so we shall turn a blind eye to his infractions.

[Keef]

A true martyr he is, and nobody can deny ::o

[dulwichmum]

Dear Mr Huguenot,

The religion to do with the tea pot fascinates me - clearly it would be a Wedgewood teapot, and would contain only Sainsburys Assam (the one in the blue pack), James would love us to be tax exempt. As a matter of fact I seem to be consistantly signing forms to do with being a director of one company or another in order to avoid him having to pay some tax or another at the moment anyhow. One of the main attractions of this religion for me currently is the lack of kneecapings! It has been a long day here, so I cannot be any deeper than that.

Mr Keef, I really could not do 40 days and nights fasting and wandering in the dessert. I am sure my small effort is a modern day equivalent. James has a high cholesterol, and I have just decided that he shall go on my diet with me. I shall keep you posted with regard to how I am getting on.

If I last to the end of this forty days, I shall desserve a large chocolate egg, and I may even indulge in a fertility ritual of my own!

Seven o'clock tonight is going to be difficult for me. It is usually the time I need a glass of something to calm my nerves.

[batdog]

Hi D-Mum,

I am very intrigued and interested by your lent diet "schedule", can you give us a hint ? Maybe your diet will also be beneficial to other people so why not share it for the good cause ??

I agree that nothing can replace a Swarovsky Cru filled with delicious Blanc, but maybe some meditation techniques or colour therapy will ease your difficult step from full blown daily menu to a "restricted" one.

Please do not ask me about such therapies, instead the wise men of the forum; Mr Mockney piers and Mr Huguenot must have a good knoweledge of such alternative therapies. (tu)

[dulwichmum]

Dear Batdog,

HELP - IT IS ALMOST 7PM, MY NERVES ARE FRAYED - I WANT SOME WINE............

[batdog]

Dear D-Mum,

having "withdraw" symptoms ??? ;-)

[dulwichmum]

Dear Mr Batdog,

Please explain more about the FOX?

[batdog]

Hi D-Mum,

The fox is part of my ongoing "save all the animals" awarness campaign. (tu)

[dulwichmum]

Dear Mr Batdog,

Are you a vegetarian then? (am I going off on a tangent here? Oh dear!)

[Huguenot]

If everyone else would save the animals, and I could yet eat them, I'm convinced that I couldn't consume any particular fauna on sufficient scale to put them on the endangered list.

In much the same way Batdog could both save and consume foxes. In fact in creating a commercial demand for foxes he may influence the creation of 'fox farms' where foxes could be saved on an industrial scale?

[Muttley]

I wonder if we can introduce a by-law that will overturn government policy and permit fox-hunting in SE22. Judging from the racket outside at about 2am last night, I think it's the mating season again. Either that, or the East Dulwich strangler is on the prowl.

[dulwichmum]

Darling Muttley,

Do you really think we could? Huguenot has raised my interest now, I wonder what fox tastes like? No, no, I would not upset Batdog, I shall not be tempted to eat fox.

[CrystalClear]

I'd have thought fox tastes a little stringy and quite bitter, though I have yet to try it, so shall keep an open mind. It is a pain having to listen to amorous foxes at three in the morning, so would happly join a crusade to, er, do something about them. Maybe we could offload them in Clapham?

[Muttley]

I think there might be an idea here for a new restaurant.

[Huguenot]

Crusade eh? Care that you don't tease DM with visions of you in glinting armour and a well laundered tabard. You know that makes her hormones race ;-)