Finding a new job post baby

[supergolden88]

I should be doing work right now but this is really crowding my brain so I thought I would post here and get it all out. Hopefully get some insight too.

I started freelancing when my daughter started nursery about four years ago - she was 10 months. I am a book and magazine designer and so far it has been a mix of working from home and doing part-time in-house work. This has worked very well overall and although it has been hard it's also been fairly profitable.

When my son was born 10 months ago I decided to continue freelancing without a 'maternity' break and again this has not been easy but I was doing pretty regular work throughout. Just as he was about to start settling at a childminder I heard that my biggest client will no longer be commissioning freelancers.

This is a pretty big blow and now I am trying to get more freelance work from elsewhere but I also have to consider applying for an office job. A couple of opportunities came up straight away and this has sent me in a bit of a tailspin.

A. Baby has not even started at childminder. He may not like it or take a while to settle and most of all it's only 3 days a week. If somehow I get offered a full time job I will need full time childcare PDQ. Have asked around all other childminders can only offer part time as well.

B. Applying for new jobs. Even though I am qualified and experienced I feel very very insecure and thought of an interview terrifies me. I have nothing suitable to wear. I feel frumpy. I have baby brain. I have no portfolio to speak of and no time to prepare one. I am very rusty when it comes to office politics.

MOST of all. If I go to an interview and it's all going great how am I going to bring up the fact that every day of the week I will have to leave early (4.30ish) in order to come home in time to pick up my son? Even if I employed a full time nanny the latest I could stay at the office would be 5pm.

How do people do this? Do all employers just hire men, single women or mums with older children?

Arghhhhhhh!

[Polly D]

Hi SG88

I bet if you put together a pile of books and magazines that you've designed you would have your portfolio right away. Could you set up a simple blog or a facebook page with examples of your work? I know you feel you don't have time to do this but it might help you to feel more prepared.

I wouldn't mention childcare - or even children - at an interview. But nor would I confidently say you'd be available to work any, and all, hours. If and when it gets to second stage interviews, perhaps that's the time to mention it.

Re childcare, would you consider sending your son to a nursery where the hours can more flexible. For example, Bright Horizons is open 7-7, and although each child can not attend for more than 10 hours, it does give the parents more flexibility, i.e. assuming your journey to work is no more than one hour, you could work at an office til 6pm.

Good luck

P

[supergolden88]

hey Polly thanks for the post. Portfolio crisis I can deal with (lets get an interview first). Was thinking a presentation on the ipad and copies of best books/mags. Cant bring too many or will have to bring a suitcase. Must update website...

I think I will have to come clean about the childcare at some point. Not first thing perhaps but if they ask 'are you prepared to work long hours' etc I won't lie. It has cost me jobs in the past. More than one.

Nursery would be fabulous but I am in Nunhead and alhtough baby has been on ColourBox waiting list since 4 months he still hasn't a space. I would not think Asquith or any others have full time spaces last minute.

My question still applies to all working mums though. I assume you have to leave bit early to do pick ups? Do you all have some sort of flexi time in place?

[Princess]

Supergolden, I don't really have any answers since I was made redundant and am now freelance and will need to find some form of regular employment at some point too! But I just wanted to say, when we met some months ago to talk about work, you came across as a professional, your website looked good and you certainly didn't look frumpy.

I know time out from the workplace can knock your confidence but I think how you see yourself isn't always how you come across to others. Good luck with the interviews, there are jobs out there at the moment certainly in the book world.

[EDmummy]

I've worked part-time for 10 years following birth of first child. To be fair, I have only changed companies once in that time (although have interviewed and moved internally about 4-5 times) once through the interview I have been honest and said that I need to leave at 4.30pm each day to pick up the children but offer to start work at 8am. I can do this because my husband deals with the children in the morning and drops them at breakfast club (previously one at breakfast club and one at nursery) before heading to work.

I always follow the breaking of this news with the strategies I use to handle heavy workload or late demands. Don't let them think that leaving at 4.30pm is a problem and tell them that you have thought about how to deal with this need on a daily basis. Does your partner have the flexibility to offer additional support?

Just remember, it is your skill and reputation that gets you the job ...no one gets a job because they are willing to work long hours. Long hours are often a weakness of the corporation or the employee. I don't suspect you would like to work for a company that has little respect for it's staff.

I wish you all the best of luck!

[Claire29]

Hi,

I'm returning to work a week on monday( and can't wait!!) after baby no 3. I work in an office for a charity on oxford street, I'm lucky because my boss is very flexible in that I have agreed to start at 9.00 and finish at 4.30 - 3 days a week (21 hrs) I have a nanny and she will start at 7.30 and my aim is to be home for 5.30 (depending on trains) Anyway hopefully it works out, as I can't rely on husband to be home. I think if you are honest about your hours (perhaps at 2nd interview stage!) and say that you need to leave by 5pm I don't think it would cause a problem and say that you could possibly work late if need be to finish projects etc if it were urgent but you would need notice so that you can arrange later childcare.

Good luck, it's really not that bad working in an office, I enjoy hearing the girls talking about fashion/drinking etc stuff I used to do before kids!

[Mellors]

I had to have a nanny as nursery hours were too short for line of work - a nanny will stay until whatever time you choose/be flexible if you are running late or have evening meetings. If they are at your home they can always put the children to bed for you. Also none of that running about in the mornings. Much less stressful, although jolly expensive.

I just invested in a really good black suit - skirt, dress, trousers, jacket, a decent pair of shoes, new tights and a few shirts. Job done.

The hard bit is getting interviews in this market!

[supergolden88]

Mellors how much are you spending on your nanny per day? If you feel you want to disclose that. I dont think I could afford it even with a good job (publishing jobs don't pay all that well).

I wish a suit would sort me out but it's too dressy for my kind of work.

[mima08]

Hiya - I am yet to experience the stresses of going back to work, but I have been the employer for a fair few mums (and in one case a dad) who needed flexibility because of childcare demands. I (hope)I have always been reasonable, trying to work around their needs as much as possible and in return always had great & loyal staff. I agree with EDmummy - don't make it a problem, but just state it as matter of fact, suggesting solutions. Plus I would guess in your line of work, you could always say you'd finish things later in the evening from home?

As I will be in the same boat soon, I am really hoping that more organisations realise that for many types of work, actual hours spend in the office often mean very little in terms of quality of work - and if it requires regular long hours, there is something wrong in the first place!

[womanofdulwich]

I had a nanny and i left the house at 8.30 am when she came- and then my partner ( who left early) got home at 6.15- I got home at 7pm. it worked really well for us when one was at nursery/ school and needed "wrap around care" so we did a nanny share with another toddler 3 days a week. I cant rememebr how much it cost, but it was the only way I could work late. we also agreed with the nanny whe would babysit one night a week mid week, which I think came close to saving our marraige. ( its so easy to say I'm not spending ?25 plus on a babysitter and not go out together). Having a nanny meant there was always food in the house, childrens washing/ ironing done. A good nanny can make your life so much easier- its finding one thats sooo hard, but when you do you will recognise her/ him straight away. Good luck

[Mellors]

Nanny worked out at c. ?100 - ?120 all in for a standard day (extra for babysitting/time beyond normal working hours), plus you have to provide food, car (inc. insuring), petrol, float money for day to day activities and any lunches out etc, annual cost of paying a company to work out the tax/NI, holiday pay, sick pay etc etc. A luxury for one child, but more economical if you would otherwise have two full sets of nursery fees (as I would have done).

When working 12 hour+ days lie WOD I also really appreciated the "extras" our nannies offered such as running the odd errand, post office, dry cleaning, doing all the family washing, ironing putting away, tidying up, making enough food so there was some left over for my supper etc, although not all nannies would do this I don't think. You need to check at interview.

Nanny share gives you many of the benefits but you split the cost, so may be worth considering?

I noticed the other day that The Glades in Bromley are doing a free "personal shopper" service. They might be able to help you find things (at a reasonable price), and it seems less intimidating going there than to, say, Selfridges?

[Trish]

I went back to work full time after my first child and, as you know, I'm about to return next week after having Jacob, who's now 10 months. I've also managed numerous staff through these situations.

I think in an interview situation you state that you'd like to work certain hours (at the end of the interview) - I don't think you need to explain why you need to work those hours unless pressed. It's almost as if you're flagging/presenting it as a problem then rather than it being a fact. I also think it's worth saying to a prospective employer that if there are times when it is essential you work later and you are given prior warning then you would try to arrange things so that you're available.

From personal experience, I have an extremely understanding boss who knows that I will get the job done - if I have to leave early to pick up a sick child then she knows I will make sure anything that needs doing is done as soon as I can, and if it cannot wait then I'll make sure I've flagged the issue to her or delegated it to someone else, or forewarned the relevant people that there will be a delay in whatever it is. In the same way, if my boss urgently needs me to do something or needs me to do an overseas visit or evening bash, then she knows I'll do everything possible to juggle things so that I can be there....and invariably I manage to do so.

There are lots of mothers out there juggling the same problems as you, and we have valuable skills to offer, despite being mothers. Please don't see it as a problem but go into an interview situation prepared to present practical solutions to any issues they may have with slightly different working hours. There's a lot to be said for being in the office at 8am rather than 10 am - you can get so much done when everyone else isn't there!

I wish you the very best of luck in any future interviews you have.

[nunheadmum]

I'm looking for work at the moment and so far I'm only going for jobs that are put up as part-time. (Have you checked out the Women Like Us website - worth a look for decent mummy friendly part-time roles.) I've found so far that most of these (where I've got an interview) are anticipating you having some kind of reason for looking part-time and usually bring it up at the interview. If they do, I try to be honest but show that if they can be flexible, I'll do my best too - getting hubby (or others) to cover odd extra days if given warning, getting in early and working from home etc. So far, I haven't got any of the roles but I don't think it was due to my childcare arrangements!

In my last role I worked 8-4 which was great as I travelled out of rush hour so had far less delays. In reality I don't think I ever picked up late from nursery and was usually there by 5.30 and sometimes by 5! It felt a bit crap, always having to be the first out the office.....but that was probably as much in my head as anyone else's.

I suspect it may be harder to raise in full time roles. I would second the approach of keeping it until the second interview to ask.

And when you do get that job, don't be scared to ask other mums etc around you at school or nursery to be your back-up. Most would be willing to help if you do get stuck and it really helps to reduce the stress, knowing that your LO's won't be totally abandoned if your train gets stuck.

[HarrietM]

Hi everyone

I'm a local mum who's looking to recruit other mums (and dads!) who may be looking for part-time work with flexible hours. Here is the ad just posted in the family section, please feel free to message me for more info.

I am actively looking to recruit Mums or Dads, who want to work part time from home around the demands of their children.

Many of us don?t go back to work because we don?t want to compromise our children?s upbringing or the cost of childcare just inhibits us. Or maybe the headache of what to do over half term & holidays is too much.

I am a mother of two children under 5 years and I?m building a fun and financially rewarding business from home. I am seeking individuals who would like to explore the opportunity to do the same.

If you would like to learn more about joining my team and working under the umbrella of an award winning 33 year old company with full training & support, then please get in touch with me.

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE - AND YOU (and your children) MIGHT JUST HAVE A LOT TO GAIN!

[Smiler]

Supergolden, your other half (if you have one of course) should also make adjustments in their working life, even if they are the main breadwinner at the moment. For example, they could go in early and leave early on the days you work. They should also take an equal role in finding childcare.

Many part-time jobs go to internal candidates, so you may need to thinking about working more days than you'd ideally like to initially, and hoping to reduce hours later.

Stuff like clothes, interview practice, office politics etc will all be fine, try not to worry about that side of things. You only need one decent interview outfit, and lots of cheap but smart workwear around at the mo (I know, about to return to work and have had to buy loads of new and inexpensive stuff as my old stuff too small, boo hoo!)

Perhaps you could use two childminders, or a combination of CM, nursery or nannyshare.

[supergolden88]

Thanks for input everyone. I have applied for two jobs today and am now playing the waiting game to see if I get shortlisted. Then I guess I will worry about the interview if there is one!

Baby spent about two hours at the childminder for the first time today and he seemed in good spirits when I picked him up so fingers crossed that goes well. I explained the situation to the childminder and she was very understanding so we'll play it by ear for now.

Meantime if I ever free time I may do bit of shopping to have an outfit on standby just in case!

[prickle]

Good luck with your applications. I sympathise as I too am a freelance book designer with children. I was laid off a couple of years ago from a good part time job. In spite of being an industry dominated by (childless) women I find it quite unsympathetic to issues of child care (at least from the management).

My advice is to network. The employers who have given me the most flexibility are those that I found through my contacts. For some reason they are happier to give me more leeway as a good word from my contact seems to make me more valuable.