A weaning rant for anyone bored enough to read!

[jennyh]

Hi

Sorry for the common (and long) thread but I have had such a frustrating day and need to vent to anyone willing to listen!

My daughter is 6.5 months (29 weeks) and I weaned her early (around 21 weeks) on small amounts of fruit and veg puree. We went to 3 meals a day about 3 weeks ago but I dont feel she has taken to weaning fully yet and recently has pretty much stopped completely. She has rejected pretty much everything for the past few days and I am confused about the reasons why. I want eating to be a nice experience for her but she just clamps shut at all the things she previously liked and makes whining noises and as a result I get frustrated so she is more reluctant!

Today I managed to give her 1 spoon of fruit for breakfast, nothing at lunch and then a couple of spoonfuls at tea plus a chew on a strawberry and a small piece of mozzarella. I am wondering if this is a phase because she is teething at the moment and seems to also have a mild cold but it has been like this for at least a week and I don't know whether it is because we are just struggling with solids generally. I have to say that I have never felt that she has eaten particularly well but I know it is early days still and she is learning about taste etc and technique. She never finishes food and really rejects most after a couple of spoonfuls so I move onto something else! Ironically when I started weaning her early she was really up for it and had the eating skills nailed despite being little, it does feel as if she's gone backwards.

I always offer her finger foods too(both things she can hold like toast and things I put in her mouth in pieces like scrambled egg or bits of fruit). She has definitely improved at moving things around her mouth and now mushes bits of rusk up but she still chokes pretty much every feed and is quite violently sick about 75% of the time. I find it very hard to see her choking and gagging and it seems too severe to be worth it! i thought that this wasnt supposed to happen often, am I the only one always cleaning up a tummy's worth of milky mush for the sake of a teeny piece of bread?

Have other people's babies had periods of being off food and does the teething thing sound familiar? any tips on things to try to get her used to eating again after this spell??

She is also slap bang in the middle of a developmental peak and I wonder if the distraction has anything to do with it. She has learnt lots of new noises, refuses to nap out in the pushchair, will stay wired for hours and hours rather than drop off, will wake in the night just to chat to herself and play for an hour here and there (which quickly turns to shrieking and crying if left!). Amidst all this interest in her surroundings I wonder if she cant be bothered to eat!

Anyway, just a rant really as its been a few difficult days and Im finding it all a bit exhausting and being a bit over the top!!! Im sure as soon as I finish writing this it will all change again and we'll put it down to one of the many 'phases'.

Thanks in advance!

Jenny

[Mellors]

I think the main adage that kept me sane during weaning was "until they're 1 its just for fun". If its not fun, then don't do it. I really wouldn't expect her to eat much at that age. She is tiny still. My daughter didn't eat reliably until 8/9 months and even then would take it or leave it. Thankfully she was my second child, so I wasn't stressed about it. She is now a whopping 3 year old who eats her own bodyweight in food on a daily basis, so no harm done.

I think you are doing brilliantly. Just carry on offering a variety of things (and not necessarily three times a day - they dont do proper "mealtimes" for ages). If she won't eat take it away without fussing. If the preparation is pissing you off, stick to easy things like mushed bananas, avocado, Plum baby or Ellas Kitchen pouches etc that you wot mind throwing away as you haven't slaved to make.

Chin up, it does get better :))

[kristymac1]

I weaned my daughter at 4 months and went through major ups and downs (many more downs it felt at the time) in terms of it being a happy experience - she used to vomit a lot - and there was always something which knocked her off her stride - teething/cold/numerous viruses. Anyhoo, fast forward 4 years (first day of school today!) and she is a great eater and will try practically anything. If I was to do the whole thing again, I'd definitely not worry so much (my hindsight is 20:20 obviously) I'sd still introduce her to the wide variety of food but I'd enjoy the times she did want to eat and not 'persevere' (which used to have me in tears sometimes...) when she didn't fancy it.

Like I said, the benefit of hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I certainly remember the my utter dread of mealtimes and I really feel for you x

[scareyt]

Hi we had a similar thing at the same age, not the choking but just endless fussing, faffing about, refusing to eat anything, creating an enormous mess and driving me insane. What about just stopping completely for a few weeks and then trying again, taking it really slowly? If she's hardly eating anything she probably won't care and it will save you a world of pain. My little one was a nightmare with food until around 9 months when he suddenly got interested and I wish I had taken it much less seriously until then and just followed his cues a bit more. Good luck!

[Trish]

My son kept his mouth firmly shut until he was ready to eat anything - which turned out to be around 7 months, despite my enthusiastic attempts to wean from 4 months. Once he decided he was ready, feeding has been unbelievably easy and an absolute pleasure - he eats anything as long as it is home cooked!!! I'd advise chilling out, accepting they eat when they're ready and just keep offering food without any expectations.

[jennyh]

Thank you everyone! I was getting a bit stressed because I wasnt sure whether or not she needed the nutrition so obviously I want her to have what she needs! You are all very supportive!

I think that she is definitely struggling with teething and this cold, she just woke up coughing and when I picked her up she brought up huge lumps of mucusy jelly all over me and was hacking away uncontrollably. She has a really rattly throat so perhaps this all has something to do with it too.

I will endeavour to relax more and if she isnt feeling it then I wont worry, hopefully that way it will make her realise it is a nice time when she wants it. I also think I might just stick to spoon feeding for a while as I think perhaps she gets confused and wants to feed herself as she knows that sometimes if she holds out for a while she might get something more interesting! At the moment I am just shoving spoons, finger food, anything under her nose and the poor girl has no idea what she is supposed to do!

And yes good tip about the pouches. I have been using them as she is so changeable but have just bought all the food to do the meal planners for annabel karmel but I guess I will just eat it myself until she is ready!

Take a step back, breathe, and start again!

[sophiechristophy]

baby led weaning is they key, and just believe that we don't have to teach our babies to eat, so most likely if she doesn't want it it's because she doesn't need it. Trust your baby xxx

[Pickle]

Just to echo what others have said - try not to worry. The nutrition isn't an issue at all at such a young age, and the more stressed you get the more you both will struggle.

I had one very willing weaner (at 6 months) who opened his mouth like a baby bird and was a joy. Then my daughter, a stubborn little mule who wouldn't open her mouth, threw food all over the kitchen, and didn't eat a "proper" (as in a couple of tsps worth) meal until she was 7.5/8 months. I eventually realised it was best to leave her to her own devices and she ended up leading the process - she is ironically now the better eater of the two, much more adventurous in her tastes. Admittedly her leading the process meant she was more fish finger than Annabel Karmel, but 2nd child syndrome had well and truly kicked in by that stage and I didn't worry too much ;-)

She will eat eventually and you will be the person offering advice to others :)

[snowboarder]

My youngest is a similar age - although we just started weaning - and isn't spectacularly interested either. My older boy was quite enthusiastic about picking stuff up and feeding himself (cautionary note though blw for all it promises does not necessarily deliver you a great eating toddler!). I quite wanted to try a different tack with the baby as my 2 yr old has such a limited range of foods (and won't actually eat anything you can't pick up as a single entity) but the puree's and porridge aren't going down too well. And he won't pick anything up (despite eating every toy in the house and demolishing a chocolate chip cookie left lying around - oops). I'm thinking I'll just keep offering stuff if he's awake at toddler meal times, and keep on with milk as usual.

It is odd because I thought the little one would be quite up for it having sat through numerous meals as a spectator with his brother. And I had let myself hope weaning might be the answer to diabolical sleep (you never learn!!).

[apenn]

I also did baby led weaning and think it's important to note that choking and gagging are two very different things. Gagging is normal when they are learning to control what's in their mouths. My son gagged all the time for the first few months of weaning. It was hard for some people to watch becuase folks get nervous when babies gag and people think it will lead to choking.

According to the book, it's actually safer for babies to start with finger food because the gag reflex is further forward in the mouth and moves back as they get older. Seems to have worked for us - my son is now 2 and had never choked.

-A

[jennyh]

She does gag but then brings the food to the front and either spits it out or has another gum. She def chokes though too as she goes a shade of reddy/purple, can't take a breath and gasps. This is usually when she brings everything up or I offer her water to swallow down the food. She finds the vomiting in this way quite shocking and upsetting :(

I imagine it's when something has hit the back of her throat and she can't move it forward. It's just very scary and whilst I'm not one to completely dismiss stuff, I think I need to listen to her, as everyone has wisely said! I'll stick with the squishy and slimy things and leave the carbs!

[Saffron]

jennyh Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> She does gag but then brings the food to the front

> and either spits it out or has another gum. She

> def chokes though too as she goes a shade of

> reddy/purple, can't take a breath and gasps. This

> is usually when she brings everything up or I

> offer her water to swallow down the food.

Let me hasten to reassure you that this is NOT CHOKING. Choking happens when the trachea (windpipe) becomes obstructed by a forgeign object such as food. During gagging and vomitting, the opening to the trachea is temporarily blocked by the natural mechanisms of the throat to *prevent* food from entering the trachea. It may look scary, and it may indeed be upsetting for your little one, but it is not a medical emergency. It is a fully natural response.

> She

> finds the vomiting in this way quite shocking and

> upsetting :(

> I imagine it's when something has hit the back of

> her throat and she can't move it forward. It's

> just very scary and whilst I'm not one to

> completely dismiss stuff, I think I need to listen

> to her, as everyone has wisely said! I'll stick

> with the squishy and slimy things and leave the

> carbs!

Acutually, squishy slimy things may not *necessarily* be easier for your baby. Mushy semi-liquids/liquids from a spoon or straw require a sucking or slurping action that can lead to the liquid being partially inhaled into the windpipe. This causes a partial choke, leading to the mush/liquid being coughed out rather than gagged up. For a baby with a sensitive gag reflex, a partial choke can also cause vomitting. If these things happen frequently and are distressing for Baby, it suggests Baby is not really ready for solids.

I would also echo about what others have said regarding nutrition. Under one year old, solids are just for fun... they're Baby's introduction to new and interesting tastes, smells, and textures. Milk (breast or formula) is Baby's source of nutrition. Even if Baby is swallowing lots of solids, there is no guarantee that Baby's intestine is able to utilize the nutrients in these solids until the gastrointestinal tract matures more fully between one and two years old.

As parents, we like to see our babies eating solids. It can be hard to let go and let Baby lead. But please remember that by letting your baby lead, you're not 'opting out'. View the decision to let baby lead as an active choice on your part that will give your baby the best benefit of developing her own eating skills at her own pace for the long run. You might even consider just stopping solids temporarily, and perhaps revisit them in a week or two when Baby seems more interested. This won't do your baby any harm at all.

Happy weaning. xx

[supergolden88]

Ella's pouches are good when all other food is refused. Whenever my boy goes on food strike it's always due to teething. He also spits up/throws up more when he is teething. I end up offering more milk because sometimes no other food goes in. You could also try liquidising some banana and milk or fromage frais and offering it as a drink - mine likes to slurp it through a straw. THis too shall pass but it is very frustrating

[Beagle]

weaning floored me more than anything else this past year. Mouth firmly shut, mmmmmm noise, head turned away. This went on and on, she lost weight, I was at the end of my tether, and then on advice tried Baby led weaning (BLW is not for everyone, I was resistant)

I fully empathise as I found the whole thing distressing and felt really hopeless when she dropped weight. I had to learn not to get hung up about it although that's hard when health visitors question the weight loss. You'll get there even if it feels today as if it will ever improve.

Good luck.

[apenn]

Hi again jennyh,

Absolutely you need to listen to your daughter! Would never suggest anything less, but Saffron has made the point for me regarding soft/squishy/puree foods. They are much trickier for babies to manipulate in their mouths and my son had a much harder time with these than solids in the beginning. Eventually I gave up on all soft things like yoghurt and then tried months later when he was a more experienced eater and was more successful at that time.

Also, I would consider not giving any water to wash things down until all food is free and clear. If she needs to bring things up perhaps trying to wash it down is contradictory and could be exacerbating the issue?

Hope all gets easier soon!

-A

[jennyh]

Thanks everyone again. Im interested in the choking info, didn't know all of that so thank you. She had a good day today and ate masses of puree so I guess every day is different! Still quite poorly so it was nice to see her have a bit of appetite. Im definitely going to relax a bit more and just see how it goes, no pressure on her or me!