Potty training - help please

[Dragon99]

Hello,

I'd really appreciate any advice anyone can give me about potty training my little boy.

He is 2 years old and this is our second attempt at potty training. We tried about 6 weeks ago for 2 days - he happily sat on the potty but would hold his wee for hours rather than going on the potty so I stopped. I'm trying again now...it's been 2 days again and he is telling me when he wants to go wee wee, goes and sits on the potty, squeezes a tiny wee out and takes it to the toilet to flush...all great...BUT he's not really doing a proper wee, he's still holding as after doing these tiny wees for a few hours he'll start frantically running/dancing dripping wee drops everywhere before bursting with a giant wee.

I'm really worried that he's going to get an infection or something as he keeps holding it for so long. I should say he has been in nappies at sleeptimes and filled them (incl. poo).

Does anyone have experience of this? I've looked on he internet and they seem to call it "fear of elimination" but there's no real advice on how to overcome it. I don't want to keep sending him mixed messages...he seems to understand the concept just can't release. But I hate seeing him so frantic with all the holding it in. Can anyone help please?

Oh and I had him in the garden all afternoon running round naked to see if he'd just go...same thing...would say wee wee time, do a tiny wee repeatedly until he bursts.

:-(

[Dinosaur200]

Just ignore it and move on nothing to see here.

if you don't call them by their own and first names when they started

Tontos.

ADIOS

[ludoscotts]

hi cant offer any real advice as my little girl was pretty good at potty training. she did however hold on to her poo's and wouldnt do them in the potty some weeks after going well on the potty. she would wait until night time after her bath when I would put a nappy on her or insist on having a nappy on then go in it then want it off for the rest of the day. used to drive me mad but she got over it herself after a couple of weeks. I think the fact that we didnt make a big deal about it meant she just one day did it and never looked back, was fine after that.

maybe its the potty he dosent like, what is he like on the toilet with a toddler seat on? or could you try the little balls that you can buy? I know my cousin resorted to using those as his son wouldnt use the potty and he completely bypassed the sitting down stage and went straight for standing up to have a wee and aimed on the little balls.

hope things come right for him soon.

[damzel]

Having had an incredibly stressful potty training experience with my daughter and dealing with all the trouble that it brings when introduced too soon - with-holding, constipation, fear of elimination (no, there are no answers on the internet) etc. I would suggest you consider stopping before you have a bigger problem on your hands and try again in a few months time. Use the potty at bathtime, have nappy off time when feasible to have accidents, but use the (unfortunately expensive) pull-up trainer nappies so he can feel the wetness (even better if you can use real nappies) in order to learn in his own time and maybe come around to the idea himself.

We tried, too soon, too fast and paid a very heavy price. It really wasn't worth it. It's true, withstanding special needs, they can all do it before they go to school and "delayed" toilet training is not at all related to intelligence.

Good luck and keep smiling :o)

[spanners45]

Hi Dragon99,

I've no experience with potty training as my boy is still too young but someone recommended us using/reading to him a book called Pete The Pirate, which is about a little boy (a pirate boy) who is potty trained. It has a 'cheer button' that th kids can press. Anyway, it might be an idea and something to introduce him to potty training. If nothing else, he'll just understand that it's all normal and that it's ok to do a wee in his potty.

The real reason for me getting in touch was that I've got some size 2 real nappies that you are welcome to have in case they help with the training. I have heard many times that real nappies are great to help along the potty training as the little ones can feel when they get wet.

Let me know if you'd like them.

Spanners

[Dragon99]

Thank you to all for your replies, much appreciated.

That's really kind to offer the real nappies spanners45 - I hadn't thought of using those - I do already have some that I got a while ago with the intent to use but never got round to it...I think I'll try that for now. Thank you for the kind offer.

I've decided to leave it for now...feel really bad about the mixed messages...I was hoping to get him out of nappies before the second baby but wishing I'd never started now :-( Will keep on with bedtime potty time and perhaps a nappy free time each day for now.

Oh and Pirate Pete is fab! My little boy loves reading it...def recommend..although it hasn't worked for us yet in terms of actual potty training!

Thanks again x

[Hollybush]

put some cheerios or something in the potty and get him to aim?

Anyway sounds as though he's doing really well in terms of understanding and control so I'm sure it will come with time. Also novelty weeing - on a tree in the garden / park etc! Stand up wees like daddy?! Helps them realise /practice the new control. Also I would watch for that bursting moment that you describe and if you can whisk the potty under him and catch some, make a big fuss / give sticker & praise etc.

I also used training pants from mothercare - like cloth nappies they feel wet if they wee but it holds at least some of it so a bit less messy / good for going out in the first few weeks. I found that weeing on the floor a good few times is a necessary part of the process of learning, so I just let him run around in pants for a few days. Worth perservering now while the weather's good for it!? Also I read that you should be careful not to be too negative about accidents - more just 'oh, look - your wee has gone on the floor! Lets wipe it up. Next time we'll run to the toilet .... lets get some dry pants shall we.' etc etc Seemed to work well with ours....