Charter year 7 entrants and mobile phone

[bodsier]

Wondering if parents not keen on their children having smartphones would be interested in standing strong and forming a group. If we all Hold similar values, it's easier in numbers, and helps as a defence against the argument that 'everyone has got one'. It's hard when everyone else is so heavily addicted and build their social life with phones. Maybe just changing the culture from a must have will change their attitude towards it. They will all live so close to each other so I can't see the need. Who's in?

[sweetgirl]

Smartphones are not necessary in school...

How about a basic phone for school & if you choose to, keep the smartphone for home?

When my son is old enough I would like him to have a way of contacting me.... Going to the office to make a call doesn't always work!

Just my opinion......

[bodsier]

Ok sounds like this is not the group for you. It seems to defeat the objective, as I don't want him having access to social media on tap, or be left out of the group when they are all communicating on whatsapp. If anyone is interested in joining with me on the basis of no smartphone at all please PM me. I don't really want to get into a discussion on smartphones per Se, just to ascertain how much interest is out there in steering your child away. The idea being If we form a united group and together stand firm against the pressure.

[Houseoflego]

It is possible to have a mobile phone that does not have the internet on it. If they need a phone, just get them a cheep phone that is not heavily internet enabled.

[redjam]

Good luck with your crusade - but I think you will find it tough. I know one set of parents who have held out from giving their secondary-school child a smartphone. The result? She just borrows her friends' phones on a daily basis on the way to/from school to access her Instagram and WhatsApp accounts. Parents are blissfully unaware. (And her friends are getting a bit annoyed at constantly being asked to lend their phones.) When there's a will, there's a way. Surely better to educate about appropriate use, impose curfews, encourage self-regulation etc rather than an outright ban?

[poch]

My kids are younger but am already worrying about smartphones later down the line. There is a way you can disable Safari (so no internet access) but keep Whatsapp on an i-phone. Maybe a good middle ground? So kids would be in the loop on messaging and social stuff but not able to spend hours trawling through weird websites....

[jimbo1964]

No children should have access to social media below 13 and for WhatsApp is'a 16. Slightly flabbergasted how little parents know or care about these rules.

https://www.esafety.gov.au/education-resources/iparent/staying-safe/social-networking/is-there-an-age-limit-for-kids-on-social-media

[samstopit]

I would be with you bodsier except it looks like our son will be going to Kingsdale in September, not Charter. He has already said he doesn't want a smartphone. But no doubt he will be the only one and we will end up buying one so he doesn't get picked on.

[redjam]

Actually jimbo1964, it's 13 for WhatsApp: http://parentinfo.org/article/whatsapp-a-guide-for-parents-and-carers

And we're talking about secondary school kids here, so most of them are going on for 13 when they start in Year 7.

Honestly don't think there's any harm in WhatsApp - it's just a way of messaging friends, and helps them keep in touch with primary school friends once they've gone their separate ways. Of course it can be open to bullying, exclusion etc, but you can say the same about face-to-face communication. It's just a tool.

I'm less enamoured of Instagram as most of it's so inane, but I keep an eye on my daughter's account and a limit on the time she spends on it and generally it seems OK. She shows me the more ridiculous duck-face-pouting selfies that some of her classmates post and we share a laugh and an eye-roll about it. Though I do think it's important to keep an overview of what they're posting, especially when they're still young - I am quite surprised by some of the things I see on other kids' accounts...

[Jules-and-Boo]

Kids live in a different world. I think you are seeking the impossible but instead need to look at what you can control.

I have had an ongoing battle about phones and there is a balance. It's important our young people learn how to make good choices - and how to balance work (yes, school is HARD), sleep, eating well, sleeping well and relaxing and exercising is important. Get one element wrong and it all goes wrong.

For example - too much phone activity at night disrupts sleep/ affects everything else....

For example - too much sleep affects eating properly/ school work / etc....

I think it's better they learn to balance - rather than being denied something that it now woven into life.

[bodsier]

Yes I agree they ought to learn balance, but adults are so addicted to phones why expect anything different from kids? My son's friend has said that he will keep in touch with him IF he has a phone! (sure they are scheming, but there is an element of truth there). As parents are we to collude in this social apathy?)

I agree redjam, it is tough, but the difficulty appears to be getting past parents, Many I have spoken to don't want their children to have a phone at all, yet succumb to the pressure that their children put on them. It's them

That I am appealing to. Some of these parents just like the idea of being able to track their kids. What happened to trust? Can kids really develop independence when we never really let our children go? Schools are doing a great job in raising excellent scheep, are we to continue that job at home?

Year 7 is 11/12 Not to mention the sharp increase of brain tumours amongst kids/teenagers..... The repercussions of this won't be felt until they reach young adulthood,

doctors suspect that it's due to phone use whilst young brains are developing....not to mention the deterioration of mental health which of course can't be solely attributed to smart phones, but they certainly don't help..but hey, at least they won't be alone...

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk/news/health/teenage-technology-addiction-smartphone-rehab-seattle-clinic-children-aged-13-

mobile-devices-a7684356.html%3famp

.

[mrs.lotte]

I asked my son who is in Y8 at Charter if everyone has a smart phone. He says that plenty of students in his year have brick (i.e not internet enabled) phones but no one has no phone at all.

[redjam]

bodsier Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Yes I agree they ought to learn balance, but

> adults are so addicted to phones why expect

> anything different from kids? My son's friend has

> said that he will keep in touch with him IF he has

> a phone! (sure they are scheming, but there is an

> element of truth there). As parents are we to

> collude in this social apathy?)

>

> I agree redjam, it is tough, but the difficulty

> appears to be getting past parents, Many I have

> spoken to don't want their children to have a

> phone at all, yet succumb to the pressure that

> their children put on them. It's them

> That I am appealing to. Some of these parents just

> like the idea of being able to track their kids.

> What happened to trust? Can kids really develop

> independence when we never really let our children

> go? Schools are doing a great job in raising

> excellent scheep, are we to continue that job at

> home?

But surely you're arguing this both ways, saying that you don't trust them to use the internet/social media responsibly, but you do trust them to travel around London on their own and not be contactable? I'd much rather be the other way round and know my daughter and I can get hold of each other easily if needed (obviously a non internet-enabled phone would also do this job but I'm just pointing out the flaw in this argument). If you really want your child to develop independence, isn't teaching them how to use the internet responsibly part of that process? And yes, part of that is modelling good behaviour yourself (as a parent) and not being welded to your phone at all times.

>

> Year 7 is 11/12

Yes, you're right, my mistake. So Year 8 is the official age they're allowed to have WhatsApp.

Not to mention the sharp

> increase of brain tumours amongst

> kids/teenagers..... The repercussions of this

> won't be felt until they reach young adulthood,

> doctors suspect that it's due to phone use whilst

> young brains are developing....not to mention the

> deterioration of mental health which of course

> can't be solely attributed to smart phones, but

> they certainly don't help..but hey, at least they

> won't be alone...

> https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk

> /news/health/teenage-technology-addiction-smartpho

> ne-rehab-seattle-clinic-children-aged-13-

>

> mobile-devices-a7684356.html%3famp

I think the evidence for this is still pretty unclear. Cancer Research UK calls the link between cancer and mobile phones 'unlikely': http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/causes-of-cancer/cancer-controversies/mobile-phones-wifi-and-power-lines

Sorry, I know you didn't want to get into a debate about this but I think phones are very demonised and we all worry about the effect they have on our kids - but I also think their drawbacks are exaggerated. And as Jules-and-Boo said upthread, it's the world we live in now so it's nigh on impossible to hold back the tide alone. Maybe better to embrace it and look at ways of helping your kids to adapt to it?

[flocker spotter]

Starting secondary school is all about gaining independence whilst also feeling secure and a phone can help with both of these. The comments about parents' giving into peer pressure is exactly part of that growing up. As they get older, their friends become more important to them than their parents. They will ask friends' opinions before yours.

It seems to me you are seeking to create a rod for your own back. At what stage are you going to say, yes you can?

[bodsier]

A rod for my own back, that's interesting as that's exactly what a lot of parents whose kids own phones say. They regret it, and say that they argue most with their children about phone usage. Anyway I'm not here to convince people who disagree. I posted to see if there were others who felt the same way.

When I can see that he can use it responsibly, and he needs it, then I may give him a phone...

[Jules-and-Boo]

And how are you going to know that? As they grow up they need your guidance and trust.

I think your motivation is curious.

[Orange owl]

Have 3 teenagers phones not a problem.

[bodsier]

I know my child. I find your question curious.....

I think I've gleaned the information I was looking for thanks to everyone for your contributions. Signing off now. All the best

[bodsier]

flocker spotter Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Starting secondary school is all about gaining

> independence whilst also feeling secure and a

> phone can help with both of these. The comments

> about parents' giving into peer pressure is

> exactly part of that growing up. As they get

> older, their friends become more important to them

> than their parents. They will ask friends'

> opinions before yours.

> It seems to me you are seeking to create a rod for

> your own back. At what stage are you going to

> say, yes you can?

I've finally found a phone that I'm happy with, I can set it up with apps that I chose and can restrict times for games and general phone use. N I can even lock it remotelyand use the tracking system if necessary. Very happy with this so its a win win. Available from Argos, as car phone warehouse no longer sell.

https://www.techadvisor.co.uk/review/android-smartphones/monqi-kids-smartphone-review-3667603/

[Monkey]

Just to say i?m with you, Bodsier. My daughter is only in year 4 and children already have iPhones, post and watch videos on YouTube and play online games. My daughter is not allowed any of that and this is impacting her friendships at times. Wish people would be sensible!

[Houseoflego]

I?m not a fan of kids and unrestrict Internet use so we use a brick. They need to be safe, ESP if their journey to school is long but they really don?t massivly need the Internet on a phone.