Possible dyslexia/dyspraxia in 8 year old son - looking for advice

[Lochie]

Wondering if anyone is able to offer any advice/experience - I would really appreciate some help.

My son is 8 (in year 3) and is now at a point where his problems with schoolwork and particularly handwriting are being flagged by his school. I had a meeting for the first time with his teacher last week (at my request) and was told that the SENCO is 'aware of him'. In combination with this, he finds it almost impossible to focus on a task for more than a few minutes, has a meltdown over almost any homework situation, says he 'hates school' despite being 'very popular' (teacher's words not mine), is also very temperamental at home (generally manifests itself as crying overy any task that he can't or doesn't want to do) and has very low confidence academically. He also avoids using cutlery and runs with a lopsided gait which quite a few people have commented on over the years. A physio friend of ours says he looks like he has 'floppy joints'(don't really know what this is but I could enquire more).

I don't really know where to start with any of this but know that some of these symptoms might be indicative of dyslexia or dyspraxia.

Has anyone been through the journey of getting these diagnosed (or looked into and ruled out?). How do you do it (GP? School? Privately?). How much do you have to push this through yourself in terms of assessment? How much is the child aware that they are being 'assessed'? We've spent most of his school years exasperated at what seems to be a poor attitude to school work and now I'm starting to wonder if actually there is a physiological root to all this. It is almost like he is in pain when he sits down to hold a pen.

The teacher has said that only the problem with handwriting has been flagged by the school at the moment - they haven't been aware of the other symptoms (odd running style and emotional flair ups) but that sometimes a child can work very hard to mask these in a school setting. She has said she will mention these things to the SENCO (but I still haven't heard anything from them)

If anyone has any experience or advice I'd appreciate it. I've had a hunch that something isn't right for so long now, I want to ensure there are no problems so we as his parents take the best approach to help him. FYI I live in Beckenham (so Bromley borough). Just to add I also don't want to do an armchair diagnosis on this and know that this might just be nothing but a bit of delayed development!

[birnehelene]

I can recommend Sue Harrison for a full assessment of your sons needs. http://www.tcfp.org.uk/dr-sue-harrison/

[etta166]

You can ask the school SENCo or your GP to refer you for paediatric assessment by a community paediatrician. That's generally the first step to identifying what the difficulties may be being cause by. Further assessment would be guided by the paediatrician's assessment of the likely causes, if any.

[MrBuggins]

Been through something a bit similar but with a younger child. The school told us the fastest (non-private) route was to get a GP referral to a paediatrician. We waited about 6 weeks I think. The assessment was fine... not stressful for the child at all, just some play based observations and activities. It lasted about an hour and a half. The paediatrician did say at the end that he felt it wasn't dysphraxia but could be dyslexia but this can't be assessed for until children are at least 7 and an assessment would need to be organised via the school who will have access to an educational pathologist.

I found I had to push for everything (despite it being the school that raised concerns). The Senco was great when engaged but I had to push and query every follow up as there was no proactive communication at all.

The best advice I got from a teacher at another school was that regardless of there being a definitive diagnosis there are identified areas in which support is needed and the school should do a plan of how these can be supported. E.g. poor writing is an issue in our case so one of the actions might be to use pens or pencils designed to improve grip.

Happy to chat more / share numbers via PM if useful.

[damzel]

GP can kick start things. The assessments are not at all stressful. My daughter has had a fair few over the years and usually enjoys them. Good luck.

[Lochie]

Thank you so much for your responses and PMs. Really useful. I've also spoken to a few people and consensus seems to be start with GP. I've got an appointment (without my son) on Wednesday. The school haven't been in touch about it at all despite promising to, so that is a bit frustrating. Parents evening in 2 weeks so I'll continue the conversation with the teacher then...hopefully also with the perspective of the GP.

Thank you again.

[theratprincess]

Our school had an ?early? dyslexia screening at the end of Year 2 but were not permitted to fund formal assessment by Southwark until Year 3. Dyslexia can actually be diagnosed earlier than age 7.

We were not prepared to sit back and watch our son lose confidence at school. His teachers just seemed to assume he was not very bright. I had always had a gut feeling that something was different about him compared to his peers and his younger sister. We also have a family history of dyslexia and our son had a speech sounds delay.

We paid to have him assessed privately mid way through Year 2 when he had just turned 7. It was money very well spent and the report, I understand, was way more thorough than a report done via the school. I have had to be politely very insistent with the school about following the recommendations by scheduling extra meetings and chasing updated ITPs (individual target plans) etc.

We used a former Great Ormond Street Consultant child psychologist called Valerie Muter http://psykidz.co.uk/helenlikierman+valmuter.html . My son knew he was being assessed, there was no way of hiding it but Dr Muter was good at reassuring and explaining things to him and the assessment was fun activities with breaks and chocolate biscuits.

Good luck! Happy for you to PM me.

[Lochie]

Thanks v much for that info. I just went to the GP, it all seems so complex. He talked about my son getting 'bounced around' if he made a community paediatric referral so instead said he would make a referral to 'paediatric physio' to assess motor skills and 'school nursing' to assess behavioural issues. No idea what the latter is to be honest. Anyway, GP was very nice but I guess it sounds like there is a 'system' that I will need to navigate without really knowing how the system works. If we don't get the answers we want this way then we will look at a private assessment (assuming things don't improve).

@theratprincess - that is interesting what you say about your son knowing he was being assessed - I think that is what worries us most particularly my husband, who doesn't want my son to think there is anything wrong with him. Not sure how to solve that issue really...

[theratprincess]

Yes, we?ve had a similar debate in our household about the labelling effect. Ultimately, though we just decided that the benefit to him of assessment was likely to outweigh the negatives. He already knew that he found writing and spelling (but not reading) more challenging than his peers and we said that we would be meeting someone who was going to help us understand if there was a reason for this and to work out how to help him. It was not a negative experience for him, quite the opposite.

At his lowest point last year in Year 2 we had many tears and arguments over homework etc and not wanting to have a go at things that he found hard, so we also got a tutor for him which coupled with a much better Year 3 class teacher and focussing on other extra curricular things he is good at, has really boosted his confidence.

And finally yes it is a minefield getting seen by the right people. Our son has been seen by the community paediatrician at Sunshine House who did a developmental assessment, had a SALT there and at school, has additional learning support in and out of the classroom at school, tutor etc. As parent you have to be the coordinator of all this as you are the only one that has the full picture!

[marille]

Our 6 year old son was privately assessed for dyspraxia (DCD) at home by an amazing OT. Her name is Monica Boyce. Also going via school referral in parallel which takes much longer. From our brief experience, dyspraxia is still poorly understood and not that easy to diagnose. The team we got referred to via the school was very kind, but in my opinion they misinterpreted some of the information we have given them, leading to another diagnosis that I think is highly unlikely to be correct.

We've found some strategies that really helped our son, e.g. easy grip pencils and visual storyboards to help him stay organised. PM me if you have any questions.

[tash b]

I can relate to some of the problems your son is having as my son was having the same I knew from a very young age something was wrong he was assessed at the age of 6 to be told he had fine motor skills and that was it knew it was something more, a doctor at kings was seeing him for another issue but after spending just 10 mins with him he said he?s showing signs of maybe dyspraxia so he referred him once again was assessed and at the age of 11 was diagnosed with dyspraxia, now he is coping so much better as now I know the things to buy him that helps so much. Feel free to private message me if you want to exchange numbers if you need any help.

[JaneTutor]

Hi Lochie

Year 3 is often the year when children who have been experiencing difficulties and managing them with some strategies to help them, begin to run out of ideas! I am a local specialist teacher, assessor and ex-SENCo and work privately with local children and teenagers with a range of Specific Learning Difficulties including dyslexia. I also train teachers how to help these children in class. The systems - and there are many processes - are annoyingly complex!

PM me if you want to chat.

Thanks and good luck.

Jane

[Lochie]

Thank you Jane. I do think there is a real ramp-up at year 3 in terms of depth of work and homework...so for those who were managing to mask problems before, it becomes almost impossible to do this.

I've been to my GP and am awaiting an OT referral for motor skills assessment, as well as another referral for behaviour. I think it'll be a long road. His behaviour became awful before the end of the last school term but its been amazing how much it has improved now he is on Easter hols. The only time its become bad again is when I've asked him to do handwriting practice or reading - cementing my belief that he really does struggle in these areas. It's disheartening to see, particularly as he is entering an age where many children take real joy in writing and reading. He can't get lost in that world of creativity because it is a real struggle for him, and I think that is so sad

[EDmummy]

Hi Lochie, I'm really familiar with these issues with both of my children. One is dyslexic, the other suffered with physical writing issues due to issues with fingers. For both of them we tried a few things; encouraged writing for pleasure and homework by offering to scribe for them (discussed this with school where it was homework); encouraged writing a diary or poetry - with their own spelling - only very, very gently offering corrections; encouraged cartooning. The dyslexic still experiences frustrations etc., but we've taught him how to deal with these and use lots of encouragement. He now uses a computer for homework and we go over it with tips on improvement afterwards.

Now you're getting to see an OT they will identify if there is anything else going on and should refer to other specialties if needed.