Not another baby weaning thread... Help, please

[supergolden88]

I have been following the other weaning thread with interest but need to start a new one as I am desperate for some quick advice.

My boy is 8 months. Started weaning around five months, loved his food for the most part. He was having a mix of homemade food and Ella's pouches/plum baby etc. Had shown a preference for fruit/sweeter food over savoury stuff. Does not like yoghurt or fromage frais the little freak.

The past couple of weeks he was off his food which I attributed to having a bad cold and generally being miserable. He is now bit better but has started competely refusing to open his mouth for the spoon. He happily tries rice cakes and other finger foods/fruit. He took a few bites of my lunch (avocado, tomato) but refused all his own yesterday.

I thought I would try him on some food BLW style on the tray today. Complete meltdown. Did not want to try. I offered buttered toast and pasta bolognese. Not sure it was him being too tired and too hungry. Not sure if it's teething (second top tooth just coming out causing him lots of pain).

He is only having three milk feeds (formula) a day - breakfast, 2.30 and before bed. Total about 600ml. Also breastfeeds before bed and sometimes during the day (and night) but not huge amounts. So he really needs to eat some food to complete his intake.

Any top tips? Should I continue offering food rather than pur?es (was doing both). Any BLW foods that always go down well? He has always refused any breakfast other than milk and even the milk he is not ravenous for.

Should I just sit back and wait for phase to be over as I am sure it will? I am not a relaxed, go with the flow kind of mum (as you can probably tell). Greek mums always seem to running after their children with a loaded spoon. Was the case with my mum now it's my turn.

[Grotty]

Might not be the same, but my daughter started doing something similar around that time. Turns out she wanted some independence! On giving her her own spoon she happily and very smuggly started trying to feed herself. Although in the early days she only managed tiny small amounts and instead ended up with her and the floor and the table smothered in grime, it meant that mealtimes weren't a struggle anymore. She was so happy and distracted with her own spoon/attempts at self-feeding that she didn't mind my own efforts to spoon bits of food in. end result - both happy and baby well fed....

[jollybaby]

Baby jb is 9 months and is on hunger strike too!

[Hollybush]

Totally normal I think, they just do go off eating for a while. I've had the opposite - wouldn't ever open mouth for spoon until about 10m, but would just eat finger foods. If it is tooth pain, try calpol 30 mins before giving the meal. And definitely if they're tired, they just can't cope with mealtime at all.

Trying to think of other finger foods for you. Cereal e.g. shreddies soaked in a bit of milk. Raisins if he can pick them up. Banana, Pear in large chunks he can grab. A roast dinner is a good finger food meal and not too messy (unlike spag bol!). Scrambled egg went down well with mine. Sometimes at that age, 8m, I would just make my own dinner on a plate and give him bits off it, rather than trying to make him something separate.

It's true about the loaded spoon and how anxious we seem to feel about it but I really believe that we don't actually need to worry about it - if you try a few things and they're not eating, they'll be fine with just their milk for a few days.

[Trish]

Mine is loving aptamil multigrain cereal fir beeline - bit like porridge.

He loves scrambled egg with cheese grated in it!

[Saffron]

Make food for yourself that both of you are able to eat. Only serve it on your plate, but sit him close enough to reach your plate. Then just see what he does. It may be a case of the grass always being greener on your side of the plate. As long as he's having his milk, he'll be fine.

We did BLW and often had oatmeal porridge for breakfast, made with milk+water, but add a little less liquid than you normall do. When you take the mixture off the hob, use a teaspoon to make little balls. The mixture sets as it cools. Little Saff loved stuffing her mouth with these little porridge balls. Sliced, boiled and cooled apple or pair was also a bit hit with my LO at the age, as were flavoured soft cheese. Try adding a little cumin to softcheese for a savory snack. Serve with breadstick, or lightly boiled broccoli for dipping. I don't know if you're offering meat yet. My daughter also really like little strips cut off a nicely roasted lambchop. She would hold the end of one and gum the juice out of it till it was a pulp, then throw it down and ask for more.

Also, could there be a temperature issue? Some babies like warmer food, others prefer chilled food. Just something to think about. As other have said, really try not to worry. It does seem that all babies go through a phase (or several phases!) where they seem uninterested in food. As long as you're always offering nutritious food, your baby will eat when he is hungry. xxx

[sophiechristophy]

Supergolden - my otherhalf is greek cypriot, and I am frequently (very happily) overfed at his parent's house!! So I know first hand what you mean - there is a very definite investment in making sure that people are fed in Greek culture.

My best advice for you on this issue is this: Trust that your baby wants to nourish itself. Babies want to survive in this world, they don't want to wither away. So, as long as you are providing the opportunity to eat, as you have been doing by offering food, let him decide what and how much he wants to eat. I would drop the spoon feeding for a bit and carrying on your finger food/blw tactics.

This is not an easy thing. It is very hard to sit back and believe that your baby can just not need that much food right then and there, when you feel that it is time for him to be hungry/eat.But trust your baby. The more you are invested in everything he eats, the greater the tension between the two of you, and the less he will actually eat. In your post you said that you find it hard to go with the flow, but on this issue, if you can manage to take a step back and allow him to manage it himself, the benefits will be great. Find something to distract yourself with during his meal times, like your own meal, this will help to lower the tension. Even if everything gets chucked on the floor, and he doesn't eat a single bite, don't worry and try to resist trying to persuade him to eat something, just put that meal behind you.

It sounds as though his milk feeds are plenty to be a safety net and give you peace of mind that he truly isn't starving if he does reject the solids. S x

p.s. human's will always prefer a sweeter taste - when we were hunter gatherers, sweet foods were very scarce, like wild honey and berries. They represented instant energy, and so we are programmed to seek them out and consume them. The problem is though that now sweet foods are so readily available, and our desire to seek them out hasn't decreased!

[supergolden88]

well the meal tonight was a bit of a mixed bag

offered

Sweetcorn: explored it a bit but really not that interested. Needs a few more teeth I think

Cheese: took one bite made some priceless faces while chewing - think he kept that one bite down

Cucumber: not interested

Chicken drumstick: quite liked the taste but I think found it bit rubbery. Chewed on some for ages then spit it all out. Some may have actually been eaten hard to say

Positive note: no throwing up despite never having any of this before (not wizzed up) apart from cheese

His sister was home and making him laugh like a loon so he allowed a few spoonfulls of plum baby lamb/sweet potato (previously a real hit) and also some fromage frais. He drunk a lot of milk - more than usual...

...which is just as well. As I was typing this he started coughing and I only just managed to lift him out of the cot before he threw up all over me. He has had this cold (coughing and phlegm) for over a month. Taken antibiotics last week and the improvement lasted two days. May have to go back to the GP. Only symptoms now are fits of coughing always when lying down which usually causes him to throw up.

[Saffron]

It's not just a cold if it's lasted a month. Definitely go back to the GP. xx

[supergolden88]

Well the cold was bad coughing/snot for a few days but no temperature and generally not much affected. Got better and then got worse again. Finally took him to GP July 1st, she gave antibiotics and said to give Calpol (but was not alarmed in any way). Antibiotics were 5 days during which time he improved, slept through for two nights and then started the coughing again. But it's only at night and he is very happy in himself. Past two days he has been completely unwilling to eat food from a spoon. Is also teething - two top teeth taking their sweet time to come through.

The GP said his uvula is quite big which can cause him to gag while coughing. I suppose I could take him back just to be on safe side.

[apenn]

Hi Supergolden,

On the BLW front, when you offer finger foods, don't worry too much about how much actually goes down. From things like meat they do get nutrition just fron sucking on the juices etc. and then spitting it out. As your son wasn't fed lots of finger foods right from the start, I'm guessing it might also take him a little time to practice chewing and manipulating the various food textures in his mouth.

As for the coughing, my son also had lots of continuous "coughs" and "colds" for months on end, with particular coughing fits during the night and naptimes, esp after waking up. While they don't diagnose asthma at that age, he was referred to the Kings pediatric respiratory clinic where he was prescribed an inhaler. I really didn't like the idea at such a young age, but it finally did the trick. If you've run through a full course of antibiotics and are still having problems I would go back to the GP and ask for such a referral. Also, I find that when he has lots of phlegm it can be nominally helpful at night to put a pillow under his mattress so he is sleeping at an angle. Good luck and hope it clears up!

[MichelleT]

Hi Supergolden,

With BLW, until one food is just for fun, so you should make sure your babba is having as much milk as he wants, then offer food in between milk feeds. If you can, as much as you can, eat with him. Some babies like lots of food, others find it easier to concentrate on just one or two pieces. And then try not to worry about it. One meal my son may eat very little, the next loads. Will he take a spoon and feed himself if you preload it? As long as he's getting plenty of milk, he'll be fine.

Good luck and I hope he feels better soon.

[supergolden88]

Thanks for the advice everyone. He has an ear infection and is back on antibiotics. Still very fussy about all food BLW style or otherwise. But he will eat the Ella's pouches so may just give him those for a few days and offer finger foods on the side.