Night terrors - any experience?

[Moos]

My 4 yo son is experiencing night terrors at the moment. They aren't like nightmares (which he also occasionally has) when he wakes and needs comforting: during a night terror he remains asleep but sitting up with his eyes open, crying and calling for me (while I'm there with him), hurling himself around and very distressed. He doesn't remember them in the morning.

I've now done quite a bit of reading and am not overly concerned when I have my logical head on, as it seems to be that they are a known phenomenon among young children and will probably fade over time. They also occur in cycles, so may be regular for a while, then stop, then recur. My boy has had two in the last week.

Here's a GOSH weblink to one of the more sensible articles I read, in case anyone is interested, or going through the same thing.

However, with my emotional head on I am finding this quite upsetting, and would be keen to hear from other parents with experience of dealing with night terrors. We were glad to find that our instinctive response (to hold him gently, talk to him and allow him to fall back to sleep) is the recommended one. We'll also be reviewing his bedtime routine and trying to ensure he gets enough sleep, in case this is contributing to the occurence.

[joom]

My daughter had night terrors for several years, almost every night, some very short others lasting up to an hour, really quite upsetting. It was usually within an hour of first falling asleep. Like you, we had to just be around to soothe and watch our for her. I found that gently holding her had seemed to calm her and also, when she yawned, that seemd to be the end of it... I used to wait for those yawns! Any more interaction than holding her hand made matters worse for her.

Earlier bedtimes helped and she also had fewer when her little sister moved in to share the room with her. She's eight now and they are, gladly, now a rarity.

All the best with your little boy, I hope he grows out of them fast.

[Saffron]

That's a very good website. Although, I do disagree somewhat with one piece of advice,

"It's best not to discuss a night terror the following day as it might make your child feel worried. If your child does raise the subject though, simply offer reassurance."

Your LO is only 4, so may be too young to have a conversation with about the previous night. However, if you can talk to your child about it, I think you should. For years my parents thought I had night terrors, but no one ever talked to me about it, even though I remembered everything upsetting from the night before, and I had episodes several times a week. As a child, b/c no one talked to me about it, I thought I wasn't supposed to talk about it.

As it turns out, I wasn't having night terrors. I was having panic attacks in my sleep, which were waking me up. And when I woke up the panic attack continued. No one realised that the problem was anxiety/panic attacks, not night terrors. Even in children CBT can help control anxity/panic. If only someone had talked to me about what was happening, we could have worked on some effective CBT routines to help me through the nights. (And it wasn't just me it was hard for... imagine my poor mother getting up in the night for all those years!)

Hope things are better for you soon. xx

[EmilyE]

My 4 year old son gets them, and they are miserable. He's often in such a state that even being with him does no good; he just thrashes about. We now sometimes just leave him to it for a bit and save ourselves a bit of the emotional trauma. They seem to go in little bouts - but he hasn't had them for a while so I'm hoping that's it. He never seems to remember anything about them. So none of that's very useful, but you have my sympathy...

[ParentingWorkshop]

Night Terrors is a sleep disruption that seems similar to a nightmare, but with a far more dramatic presentation. There are two approaches to tackle night-time terrors. If you find that the night-terrors are occurring in the same hour every night, then they are related to sleep-wave pattern. In this case you can wake your child half an hour before the time you know the night terrors will occur and so, by disrupting their sleep wave pattern at that time, avoid the terror from happening. After a few nights of this the terror should stop.

However, if the night terror does not occur in a regular time slot, then the thinking is not to wake your child, and to just be around them to make sure they are safe and don?t hurt themselves. If you get very anxious and wake your child, this might upset them and make the problem worse. You should find that your child will eventually lie themselves down, and go back to sleep, and will grow out of it, with no treatment required.

[Moos]

Yes, I know. The weblink I gave earlier provides the same advice. But thank you.

Everyone, thanks for your kind responses. It's always reassuring to know one is not the only one. In some ways knowing that (other than a possible link to tiredness) there's no known cause is easier, so we just have to put our heads down and live with it. It bothers me though to think of his going through this fear without being able to comfort him; though he doesn't remember, surely it must affect him.

Saffron, poor little girl that you were, how awful. My son is at that awkward age when articulacy and imagination leap ahead of understanding and reason, so it's very hard to judge. I did ask him this morning whether he had any bad dreams, and he said no, he slept "fine" and proceeded to tell me all about a happy dream he'd had about flying, which I suspect he was making up for fun. But who knows.

[new mother]

Moos, poor little chap. :-(

Perhaps a stupid and non medical idea but how about very happy tales before bedtime? Where eg moos minor the hero does something super but not frightening?

[Saffron]

Yes, Moos, that sounds like classic NTs, ie no memory of the event. As you say, he's a little young for reason and understanding, so difficult to talk to him about it. And maybe he'll outgrow them soon. I only mention my situation b/c sometimes more serious problems get brushed off as NTs. For example, I have heard of nocturnal epilesy which is rare, being misdiagnosed as NTs. You might want to think about reassessing every 6-12 months to see if he's better/worse/no change. I agree with ParentingWorkshop about waking your LO *before* the NT starts. I have heard from others that this is very effective.

[cuppa tea]

I am not sure what my 4 year old has/had is night terrors, but he would wake having a full blown screaming tantrum in his sleep. We'd be unable to calm him down as he was still half asleep and I think it would be about something that happened in his dream. This wasn't as often as every week, more like every month. We were finding that his imagination at about 3 yrs was going crazy and is still like that...which is a good thing I think, but the downside being very vivid dreams. He is afraid of falling asleep, not because of the dreams, but just the sensation of it, and didn't want to fall asleep on his own. We co-sleep now and that has seemed to solved the problem. He doesn't wake at all. Anyway, not suggesting that this may be the right thing for you, but just sharing our experience and what worked for us.

[natnat]

hi, mi three year old had night terrors, she had them for around a few months, not everynight, but they involved her getting out of her bed crying and running out of the room at top speed. The first time it happened i nearly had a heart attack and couldnt sleep that night, however got used to it in a way. I spoke to a nursery nurse at my doctors who is fantastic who reaasured me that a lot of children go through it, and she also told me to be aware of certain dvds tv programs because at the same time we are thinking they are watching a harmless dvd, their imaginations are coming alive and certain issues that are raised in certain dvds can be terrifying for a small child ie "bambi" the idea of his mum going away etc. I hope it gets better as quick as it did for us, dont want to speak to soon as she hasnt had one for a couple months now "touch wood". good luck