Rude man

[Fuschia]

Oops

Upset some man at lego land

Was standing watching people squirting Lego animals with water shooters, holding Edan

A girl of about 7 splashed us a bit so I glared at her ... So she then turned the water cannon ?full force over bSby e's head! I went across to tell her that it wasn't very kind (as no patent seemed to be supervising her) and then finally her dad appeared and had a go at me!

' I think the phrase you are looking for' I said sweetly is ' I am sorry my child just drenched your defenceless baby'

I think my sarcasm was wasted, sadly

[Fuschia]

What would you have done? I must admit I always tell off children when warranted and m happy for people to tell off mine

[zeban]

Oh my god what a little brat! I would have done exactly the same as you Fuschia. I also always tell children off- actually did this at my workplace the other day and the dad got all arsey on me even though his 11 year old was shouting, sitting on the counter top where we serve food, using his skateboard in the coffee shop, and didn't even flush the toilet after he went. Of course the parents said nothing to him and and actually seemed to be encouraging him to act like a 3 year old. Some parents are beyond me.

[Curmudgeon]

I would wonder why you would stand close enough to a squirting water gun to get your baby drenched to be honest

Glaring at a 7 year old is hardly appropriate but telling them what they did was unkind is totally fine dependent on how you spoke to her of course.

Would be interested in what the father said to you tbh

[sillywoman]

living up to your name curmudgeon? I do wonder if you have/ ever had children? If you have, then I have to wonder whether you've ever been anywhere at all with them - by yourself? It certainly doesn't sound like you have much knowledge of 'life with children' from your post.

[snss75]

Good for you Fuschia for saying something! We had a similar experience at Legoland when we went, only that time both I and my toddler got soaked and we weren't near the water cannon but apparently still within the reach... two kids were randomly aiming at strangers while their parents stood nearby and apparently found it very funny as they were laughing when their kids soaked other people (6). It pissed me off big time and in this instance I actually told off both the parents and the kids...

[Curmudgeon]

sillywoman Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> living up to your name curmudgeon? I do wonder if

> you have/ ever had children? If you have, then I

> have to wonder whether you've ever been anywhere

> at all with them - by yourself? It certainly

> doesn't sound like you have much knowledge of

> 'life with children' from your post.

Well that's a rather rude reply to a perfectly decent post which merely asked for some more information.

If it's any of your business yes I have children and yes I've taken them many places thank you - I also work in a school so have quite a lot of experience, quite possibly more than you do although that would be an irrelevant comment too

Would you like to know anything else about me before I'm allowed to ask questions abou an open post in a public forum?

I am concerned that people feel it appropriate to glare at a 7 year old and feel proud about it - I wonder if it is only parents of pre-schoolers who do not appreciate quite how young a 7 year old is.

I totally applaud speaking to the child if the parents are not dealing with it and I strongly believe in community parenting but that implies caring about the other child too

[Curly]

It's a really difficult situation because no one really likes other people telling our own children off but then if someone offends us we do have the right to tell them so however old they are. He probably told her off as well afterwards when you were out of earshot but was just being naturally defensive in front of you. Don't worry about it. Maybe if you are in a similar situation again it would be better to ask her where her parent was so you can have a go at him!

[sillywoman]

curmudgeon - I could reply to your defensiveness with an "I said this in reply to you saying that" type post, but I can't be bothered. suffice to say I stand by my post. I make no comment on who you are & what child experience you have - only how you present yourself in your post. FWIW I sorely doubt you have more experience of children than me though.

F - as the Mum of a 7 year old (among others) I'd have been glad for you to be calling him if he's soaked you/ your baby & I hadn't seen him. You did the right thing - it takes a village and all that, I guess some other people may feel differently though. I would have done the same in your position.

[Fuschia]

I do speak as the mother of an 8 year old boy who often needs to be told off

If he did something naughty and I didn't notice and another parent had to say something I would apologise right away!

[ClareC]

Agree you did the right thing! My nephew is 5 and would definitely know that was naughty and inappropriate behaviour! Also he would never do such thing, neither would his 3 year old brother for that matter!

[Fuschia]

Just couldn't really believe the man was being rude to me while I was standing there holding a dripping baby! Of actually, I can, probably explains why his child was nasty piece of work

[srisky]

I think everyone is sensitive to various aspects of their parenting choices/ability, it's only natural (it's a tough job after all!) and you only need to look on this forum to see numerous examples.

Perhaps some are happy for their children to be scolded by strangers whereas others would prefer that they [the parent] were spoken to so they could then discipline their child. There's no right answer and what works for one parent/child doesn't necessarily work for another. I don't think it's surprising that the father reacted in such a manner.

Maybe the child is a brat and the father has no control? Or maybe in the heat of the moment, seeing his child being scolded by someone else, his instinct was to defend his own? Maybe if you had spoken to him then he would have gone on to tell his child off - who knows?

Just playing devil's advocate - I'm not sure how I'd react in the same situation but agree the girl needed to be told one way or another.

[Otta]

To be honest, I kind of agree with curmudgeon, and I certainly don't think there was anything rude about their post.

If I'd been squirted the first time, I think I'd have moved away a bit, and maybe said "be careful sweetheart" (with a friendly smile) rather than making my first move a glare.

[new mother]

Fuschia, quite right.

Also, what a really nasty price of work the child was. I know naughty children but none would ever drench a baby. They are all instinctively sweet to babies.

[alice32]

Rather sad and unpleasant to refer to a child as a 'nasty piece of work', isn't it? Doubtless the blame here lies with the father. Best to leave the name-calling to the children, I think.

[Otta]

Rather sad and unpleasant to refer to a child as a 'nasty piece of work', isn't it?

Couldn't agree more!

Doubtless the blame here lies with the father.

Not so sure about that, being as we don't know what was said, and how strongly Fuschia told her off.

I'd have no problem at all with someone telling my daughter that she was doing something wrong. If, however, I felt they were really having a go, and upsetting her (having not approached me), I'd tell them where to go quite frankly.

[alice32]

Quite agree, Otta - if the telling off was heavy-handed, a cross response from the man would be understandable.

[Fuschia]

Otta, I didn't have time to move away before the deluge

And k think if you suddenly found yourself sprayed with cold water you would find it hard to do anything but glare

If there had been a parent in evidence I might have spoken direct

There wasn't and he clearly wasnt watching his child very closely

I spoke to the child quite mildly

'that wasn't a very kind thing to do'

[Otta]

Fair enough, I wasn't suggesting you'd been aggressive to the kid, was just making the point that my reaction would depend on the circumstances.

If I'd been the man in this case, I'd have asked you what happened, then told the daughter not to spray people.

[Fuschia]

Yeah

Instead he swore at me!

[Fuschia]

Actually I dOnt think it's ever right to use the f word when you're surrounded by small children

[Moos]

I think I'd have reacted much as Fuschia did, complete with glare and polite but firm admonishment of the child. I agree with whomever said children need to be raised by a community. Fuschia did say that she looked around for a parent, and having done so I'd say she had every right to speak to the child.

The glare I think is a 'first instinct' reaction, not exactly ideal but very understandable. However, in the cold light of day I don't think I'd ever feel comfortable describing a young child as a "nasty piece of work".

Completely agree about swearing in front of children, too. I met a charmer in Goose Green recently screaming abuse at another dog-walker who'd offended her, and when I approached her and asked her very politely to keep her voice down she not only told me to fcuk off, she made a point afterwards of coming to the bench we were playing on and said "I won't argue with you, because you have kids with you, but I'll "fcuk, shhit, cnut" wherever I like in a park".

[Moos]

...the last word being the one that is so unacceptable that even cheaty spelling is banned on the EDF!

[Fuschia]

I probsbly think of the child in more negative terms than I might have done, if her father hadn't called me what he did, it's true!!