who's dreading going back to work??

[2Loulou]

anyone on ML, knackered, overwhelmed and doesn't even imagine how getting back to work full time will be like?!

sorry this is a little on the dull side!!!

[Kes]

I think that may go for anyone on ML at least some of the time!

do you have the option to go in for odd days before you go back properly? It was called keeping in touch days where I work, don't know if everywhere does it, but I found it really helpful in reminding me that I like my job, am pretty good at it and frankly some days I feel far more competent there than at home!

[2Loulou]

We do, but it's 10 days I believe, and I have to go back full time. of course sometimes i wish i was out of the house, the house work drives me mad and unbelievably ungrateful, and i m not mentioning cooking dinner, paperwork, phone calls, gp's. still I don't miss work and want a much longer break, doesn't make any sense.. probably need a 4 days job by 2012 :) as a compromise!

[sanity girl]

I found the keeping in touch days really helpful. Made me feel much more positive about going back and reminded me that I could still do the job no problem (in fact it's much much easier than childrearing!). I have used my holiday allowance accumulated during ML to go back part time for the first 3 months, will go full time in September, so it is a nice gentle reintroduction. Is that something you could do?

[2Loulou]

My role is full time and it's not practical for the company to do that, I know that so I am not even asking, if there is a change or restructuring I may ask, otherwise just need to change I guess. Something with flexible hours where you can drop and pick up easily etc... if people do it again and again it's must be doable!

[chantelle]

i went back for a 4-day week and I love it. Frankly I'm dreading going on mat leave again when number 2 comes along in December!

[Grotty]

I dreaded going back after ML for the same reasons but actually found it much easier. Once you get over the worries of leaving your baby - which pass quite quickly - you realise that being at work is easier in some ways - you're only having to look after yourself/feed yourself/get through the day on your own. And coming home to your little one is like the biggest treat ever. I've been back at work for 6 months now, but still get butterflies in my tummy every afternoon when i collect my daughter from nursery...

[Otta]

I would imagine that everyone is different. You hear lots of people saying they like going back to work, as they get to do a bit of reading for themselves on the train, and get to think about something other than baby.

My wife went back 3 days after our first, and she absolutely hated it. She just couldn't stand being away from the little one, although she did admit she enjoyed reading on the train!

She's off again now, as our second is due in a few weeks, and after this, she'll probably go back 2 days, as she feels that would be a lot more barable.

[Moos]

I'm quite looking forward to it. Bad Mummy.

Have agreed in principle to work short hours so I can pick Moosling up from school and then have the afternoon with them both. It might be the best of both worlds. Or it might be a nightmare juggling two tired kids through the witching hour to feed/bath/bed and surreptitiously typing on my Blackberry. We'll see!

[uptime]

I am going back full time on 1 August and cannot wait. I love being with my daughter, who is now 7 months, but I feel that I am ready to face the challenges of work and that she is more than ready for the stimulation and interaction she will receive from the nanny share we've arranged. Being on maternity leave has been fun but I miss that feeling of being valued and respected which I get in my job. Also now that she is weaning I am more than happy to leave the majority of the nappy changing to someone else! I am lucky in that I love my job. Do you think your nervousness, 2loulou, stems from the opposite feeling?

[mima08]

2LouLou, I am with you, not looking forward to going back in Autumn at all. But that has definitely do to with the fact that I did not like my job and would have been looking for something else if I hadn't been pregnant (or trying) for most of last year. I think I would feel similar to uptime if I enjoyed my job...

Have you done any research of doing part time work? Even starting to plan may make you feel better about the idea and let you work out if it is your job / company / the hours / etc. that you are dreading.(Personally, I am still hoping for the divine intervention of a great idea for self-employment - or a lottery win).

[2Loulou]

Ahhhh Lottery win is what I need! to be frank, if the mortgage wasn't big I would have taken longer ML to think about what I want to do, but having been pormoted recently can't afford to give up my role, I even felt guilty announcing my pregnancy so need to get back straight into it and full time.

Had I not been trying I would have looked for a more child friendly job, where work from home, flexi time etc..is not a favour from your boss

when I went back to work after baby1, day one was awful but I enjoyed it so much, having said that, we had our daughter looked after at home, now, she is starting school, I am starting work... the logistics sound scary.

I am worried but know that once sorted, I will enjoy wearing clean clothes, taking a shower early in the morning as opposed to whenever you can squeeze it.. and earning more money than smp

[Ruth_Baldock]

I was dreading going back to work because I was so knackered I had no idea how I'd cope (baby wasn't settling until 10-11pm, bedshared with me and my husband and woke up 2-6times a night). In my first week, I was late twice because I fell asleep on the bus on the way to work :/ in the end we sorted out our baby's sleep and I really started to enjoy going to work. I think I'd been back for 7wks before I discovered I was pregnant again... Oh, the irony! I wnet back PT though, no way could I have handled full time!

[Sol]

No way I could handle full time, I work 2 days at week and I am looking forward to go back, once I sort out nursery for the baby and after school care for the older one. The only way I could do full time is if I had a great nanny, I always feel worry to leave the kids with someone else ,unless I really trust her, at least in the nursery there are more people looking after the kids, one person may get tired and stressed with the baby and he/she can't tell you anything.

[new mother]

Agree with Sol.

I loved my job, loved the independence it gave me, loved the office interaction and my colleagues. Unfortunately for me, I loved my babies more and they managed to force ms into staying at home with them. Overall I hate it but I am totally stuck as I could not face even a day of them with another person looking after them.

I'm snookered!

[2Loulou]

I kind of feel this way too New Mother, the difficulty is that I really want to thrive in my job so in a longer term my children can benefit from it (afford high education, holidays etc...) as well as have a job I love.

Some women are lucky to give up their jobs and return without being affected, some would just have to give up forever...it's a tough call

[Saffron]

Do you have an au pair? Would going back to work full time allow you the income to have more domestic help? Do you have relatives or a friend who could stay with you for a few weeks while you settle back into your work routine?

[2Loulou]

Hi Saffron, yes now my mum has agreed in principle to come over and help with little one so my older goes to school, settles in there first, I go to work and get used to it... then put my little one in nursery when we can.hopefully this might work better for us. and yes I think a domestic help would be needed too.

[Mata_Hari]

I was really, really looking forward to it but now, my son is almost 5 months and is FUN. Finally! We've got the hang of living together!

I'll be going back August 8th, to a job I really love, but still ... I'll miss his smiles and odd, high-pitched squeals.

[itchyfeet]

Hi all,

If there was anything you could have done, with regards to work, before you got pregnant or if you are in the early stages of pregnancy, to make the transition out of ML easier, what would it have been?

I love my work and the thought of going on ML is scary but I do also want a family. Both my family and my husband's family do not live near us. I don't want to panic/feel torn at the end of ML (6 months).

Thanks for all your posts above! Very insightful.

[jollybaby]

Itchy feet - all I'd say is look after yourself. I had a horrible job before going on mat leave. I was doing 12 hoe days and travelling out to hammersmirh. I planned to go on leave at 35 wreeksbut wbentuaaly cracked at 33 weeks z. I felt really guilty and as If I had failed. It cast such a shadow on my leave that I am determined that next time Will not be like that

[itchyfeet]

Thanks for the advice Jollybaby. I have a fairly demanding job as well and am trying to not get too stressed about it. However, the stress of work as well as the thought of having to secure a nursery now + go to all the check-ups + general feeling of being ill all the time (I'm around 7 weeks) is beginning to get me down. At the same time, I feel a bit resentful that males don't have to go through any of the physical/work changes women do but I know it's not my husband's fault. Any advice anyone as to how I can approach this process differently without feeling a bit depressed?

[Mathilda]

Hi itchy feet. Firstly you will quite likely feel much better physically by the 12 week mark so hang in there! Why is going on ML scary? There's loads of mum and baby stuff to do in Dulwich and you will be off over the summer so you might really like it - keep an open mind. Re nurseries I would just visit the ones closest to you and put the baby's name down if you like them, if it doesn't work out you can go for the childminder option which you wouldn't have to arrange until much further down the line.

[jollybaby]

Have re read my post and realised how negative and depressing it sounded. I still maintain that it is really important to look after yourself at work. Don't be a martyr like I was - no one will thank yous for it. However as said above you will probably start feeling much better in a few weeks time. After going to bed at 8pm in the first trimester I suddenly felt energised in the second. The antenatal appointments aren't too much of a bother - you're not seen that frequently at all until close to the end. As for childcare - please don't stress about that too much. It all works out in the end. You may even find that when baby arrives your plans and preferences change. Good luck