Baby Hysterics anyone?

[mima08]

I can feel a ranty post coming on but am at my wits end.... My 4.5month old has recently (ie over the last 2 weeks or so) taken to have regular hysterics - several times a day. He screams and screams, bright red with tears streaming down his face and he is obviously very upset. Absolutely nothing I do seems to help. He does not appear ill in any way - he eats like a horse, and has no temperature. It also seems to be independent of the teething (another issue altogether) and is not really reminiscent of his colic days (different type of crying) It is not at the same time every day, more like after he has been awake for about 1hr. However, he also regularly wakes up from naps screaming, sometimes after just 30min, other times after 2hrs. I have tried:

- putting him to bed at first time of fussiness (usually results in waking screaming 30min later)

- lots of winding (burping does not stop it)

- tons of cuddling (nope)

- distracting with toys/books/games (nope)

- being very calm or high energy & happy ( neither seems to make a difference)

- singing lullabies (nope)

- feeding (nope)

- dummy (I feel a bit I am constantly "plugging", which is awful)

I never leave him when he is crying, but it is very hard to take, particularly because the minute someone else, like DH comes home, he turns all smiles....

Any suggestions - please?

[ClareC]

Hungry?

Sounds obvious but I remember my daughter being inconsolable shortly after a feed so I assumed it wasn't hunger....Having tried everything it was. I soon learnt that during presumably growth spurts she would feed pretty constantly.

Good luck

[Belle]

I think I wrote a similar post when my son was around this age! I never really worked out what it was - though in retrospect perhaps it was still his reflux bothering him - but I def found this age v 'screamy', including at times when eveyrone tells you babies will zonk out e.g. in the car. I would say - don't feel bad about the dummy as it comes into its own with a screamer! Get out and about as much as possible - even if you still get the screaming, it won't seem so bad out in the open air somehow. I also think fresh air helps and being out provides some distraction.

Other than that it may be a bit trial and error and and a bit acceptance - maybe it's something he needs to get out of his system every now and then. Sorry not to have much more of use to post, but didn't want to read and ignore since I do totally empathise! Hope it helps to know that it does pass. I found that the advent of solids, crawling and teeth (6,7,8 mths respectively for us) made a huge difference and the screaming fits all but died down after this point. I wonder now if a lot of it was frustration - there's an old fashioned term my mum's generation use about some babies 'not liking being babies', and I think there's a lot in that.

[mima08]

thank you for your comments, and your empathy, it is really appreciated. And although I don't wish this to other people, it does help to know others have gone through similar experiences....I really start feeling like a bad mum that I cannot soothe my baby.... I do think there is some frustration in there (I try extra feeding, but no, that is not the issue 99% of the time). It just seems to switch so quickly from very good natured to this screaming. I do try acceptance, just in the sleep deprived, slightly mad brain I start to think maybe my baby doesn't like me... :(

[catjo13]

I had a horrible time with my son for about 5 weeks around this time. He was a permanent grump, wouldn't nap properly, awake in the night at least 3 or 4 times. It was a really trying time.

He changed at about 24 weeks, which co-incided with me starting weaning. I don't know if that had an influence or not, but I would echo Belle - he has completely changed now he is eating a lot more solids and starting to crawl (7.5 months now). He still has his grumpy days, but nothing like the screaming hell we had before.

I found the book 'The Wonder Weeks' interesting. It doesn't help you when you are in the middle of it, but does prepare you for growth spurts and make you realise that your baby's behaviour is normal.

[Fuschia]

Yes ...

http://blogginaboutbabies.wordpress.com/2009/04/08/wonder-week-19/

[alieh]

Exactly the same here with my just 4 month old! The number of times he has had a screaming meltdown on public transport in the last couple of weeks, I can't tell you. People look at me like I'm torturing him! Screams in the buggy, screams in the sling but wants to be carried around, not soothed by breast-feeding, nothing. I have the Wonder Weeks book and it helps me to think of it as a phase that will just pass. In my case it is complicated by the fact that I think he is reacting to foods that I'm eating (due to eczema, mucousy nappies, etc) so I always think the screaming might be diet related even though I've cut out pretty much every food group known to man!

I am getting so fearful of the meltdowns that I don't want to leave the house but I have to or else my 2.5 year old starts to go mental and wreck the place.

Here's hoping this phase comes and goes soon!

[Belle]

I remember finding this so hard as I'd have to leave NCT meet ups early etc, it's def helpful to know you're not alone! And so irritating to find things like motion don't help - everyone would always say 'oh put him in the sling' etc, and none of it worked! Think Fuschia posted a useful blog or sthing a while back about some babies just needing to cry and be allowed to cry, and that all you can do really is be there for them and reassure them - you can't nec stop it. But when it is your own child it does cut right through you...

mima08 I also experienced the thing where they stop as soon as dad gets back etc. My advice is: take advantage of that! Go out the minute your husband is back and get some peace/leave them together for a copule of hours on a Saturday and go for a massage, think when your baby is having screaming fits you need time away from them!

[helena handbasket]

I went through this with my son as well. He was a winter baby (in Canada)so being trapped indoors with the non-stop screaming for months on end certainly pushed the limits of my unconditional maternal love. What could possibly harder than not sleeping at night and then having a screaming baby in the day? I know I went more than a bit nutso for a while. Totally relate to thinking your baby doesn't like you. Is there a limit to how much a new mum can terrorize herself?

One day we went out for a walk along the river and of course he screamed the whole time. A couple of old busybodies approached me and warned that they had seen a coyote, and to be careful with the baby. I looked at them like they were insane; what creature would come anywhere near us? And then I started to think the most sinister thoughts.....

"Um,the dingo ate my baby" ::o Obviously I did not feed my baby to coyotes that day.;-)

I told my husband later and we actually had a great laugh over it. Still do.

Edited to add: I never ever thought about actually feeding my precious boy to any coyotes so I hope nobody will start on the evil mother hates her baby wants to feed to animals stuff. If you have loved every second of motherhood and it's all been $hits and giggles, than I salute you. But our first six months were hard hard hard.

[FreeB]

Some Mother's love their children so much but is hard if the feeding hours are not genuine or if the mother has to have a prescription from a doctor then she has to have in writting like some mothers do and any advice by PMs would of help.

[karter]

Did the baby have any vaccs jabs previous to these mental episodes?

[FreeB]

Not mental problems but one twin has just past away sufring from his heart and my other baby still very ill, he had an operation last month, so I haven't be ale to go to bed until late night.

[Belle]

Just found the thread I started about this 2 years ago when my son was the same age:

http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?25,282322,282322#msg-282322

As you'll see, I was sure it was teething, but actually the point made by jenren and others - that it was poss just personality and something he'd grow out of - was spot on! Not to say this is def the case with your baby but worth considering, I def found it comforting realising it was prob him rather something I was doing wrong.

[mima08]

Thank you all for your comments and particularly the reassurance that this will pass .... (the link is great, thanks!)

If any of you currently going through it want to start a "screaming 4 months club", i'll be up for that (thinking strength in numbers ;-)

HH - you post made me laugh, and yes, although there are many, many, many wonderful moments, it is HARD work, too!

Re vaccinations, interesting: I had wondered but the last jab was 3 weeks ago and he is still behaving funny, if it was jab related, I'd think it should stop at some point?

It definitely helps to think maybe I am not doing anything (ok, everything) wrong...Belle - thanks for the link, off to do the quizz again now....

uuupppps- no, dealing with screaming first!