Helping 4 yr old deal with house move - any tips?

[alice32]

Hi there,

we're due to move house over the Summer and I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to make the move as undisruptive as possible for my nearly four yr old. Anyone have any experience of this - any tips? Unfortunately the move is going to coincide with me going back to work - currently on mat leave - and my son starting school, so there's going to be masses going on for him. He's not particularly keen on the idea so we've kept it low key up until now, not banging on about it too much, but think we need to start preparing him before we start packing up the house!

Any ideas on how to deal with this much appreciated.

Alice

[cuppa tea]

We've recently moved and my 4 year old is also due to start school in September. It wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would be, though he has found it hard adjusting to not having so many of his friends close by. We read a few books about moving home. 'Mouse moves house' was one I think. We also involved him in as many of the choices as possible. Before he saw the new house my husband went ahead by a day or so and sorted out his room and unpacked all his things, so his room was ready to go and all his familiar toys/books already out by the time he got to the house. He helped with the unpacking of the rest of our things and playing with cardboard boxes, which he enjoyed. We are about to move again into a house we have bought and are thinking of totally letting him decide on how he does his bedroom, colours, etc, as I feel this will help him settle and give him a feeling of control over it all.

Also I would try to be really understanding. We are still settling in 6 months later and I can still see we are all adjusting to it. Keep stress low, and the whole thing very low key and positive, as they really pick up on any negativity. Hope this helps.

[Mellors]

We recently moved a couple of months ago our 4 year old and 2 year old (just before we had a new baby - madness!). I bribed them. I bought them a trampoline for the back garden (which wouldn't have fitted in the old house), and lo and behold as soon as the bouncing commenced, they forgot all about the old place.

They are enormously adaptable (or I hope so, as we are going to be moving again in the not too distant future, also coinciding with new school).

Get the Argos catalogue out....

[prdarling]

I went back to work last August, we moved house in October, the after school nanny who started in August didn't return to the UK after Christmas, my 4 year old started school in January, the new nanny lasted two weeks (long story but she was horrendous) the old nanny came back and my son took a dislike to her and life was pretty bloody rough until mid April.

Not suggesting you'll have as bad a time as us, but when you combine a house move with other life changing things, the house move may well be the least of your worries :)

I think a lot of it depends on the child. My three year old is much more adaptable and coped well with all the changes but i suppose he didn't have a new school to contend with as well. My older son loved the new house (and garden), loved school but was surprisingly annoyed with me going back to work and having to have an after school nanny. We had huge meltdowns, tantrums and tears galore for a few months before it all calmed down (he's now happy as a lark in after school club 3 days a week)

Let your son be involved in planning what goes where in his room etc, get him some new pictures for his wall, new fun bedding or such like and you may find that he'll be quite enthusiastic. As per Mellors comment, trampolines, sandpits and the like always work too

Good luck!

[alice32]

Thank you for all your thoughts - very helpful and reassurring. He's a pretty chirpy, confident boy, so fingers crossed he'll take it in his stride. And, yes, I'll be bribing him. Already promised two kittens (regretting that one already).