Any advice on safest way to co sleep?

[ClareC]

My nearly 5 week old seems to sleep well from around 7pm until 4/5am waking for just 2 feeds. After this time he seems to not want to settle and I am up to him pretty constantly. If I bring him in bed with us once this happens, he will settle easily and sleep through until our toddler wakes! Bliss..... Other than I am really uncomfortable cosleeping, feel really paranoid.

I know the principles ie no alcohol etc I also lay in such a way I can't roll on him and neither can his dad, however I'm still not comfortable with it and would much prefer him in his crib!!

I seem to remember there is some kind of product you can buy that protects baby in a separate box like contraption whilst cosleeping- are they any good and what are they called?

Any other tips gratefully received! I know lots of people choose to cosleep, how do you make it work confident baby is safe?

Thankyou

[Ruth_Baldock]

There's this crib you can attach to the side of your bed so you kind of get the best of both worlds- think it's only suitable up to 4-6mo though.

You won't squish your baby if he's in the bed with you. Seb coslept and bedshared with us till he was 9mo

old, and would decide who he wanted to snuggle up to- usually dad and then he'd crawl over to me for a feed. I just slept how I normally did and it worked best. When I had to start lying in an awkward way, I knew that bedsharing wasn't working for us anymore.

Hopefully Fuschia will reply to this, she's a bedsharing guru!

[Fuschia]

I will post later

Most comfy way long term is mum and bBy only in z warm roo

Light cover futon on thefloor ...

[Olga]

We used a normal ikea cot with 1 side removed in the higher position. We cut the cots legs so the mattress was the same height as our bed and made sure there was no gap/movement between by tying the legs to the bed. This only works if your bed has no edge. Then baby slept beside me with their own covering. At one point we had one on each side for both children sort of like our bed had wings!

[snowboarder]

We have a bednest and I love it - you can have both sides up like a regular crib, or it attaches to your bed and you can have one side down - it's basically a purpose built version of the above post. It's bigger than a Moses basket but only really good for first 6m I think - and already I am putting the side up halfway as my 14w old is starting to move and twist about!

[Moos]

We used a drop-side crib, but once the small realised he could sleep right next to me he preferred to do so and didn't like to fall asleep on 'his own'. But it did give me total peace of mind wrt safety as he couldn't possibly fall out of bed.

I really liked co-sleeping but found it tricky with regard to comfort, as it was difficult to move around from the feeding position of lying on my side, with the baby next to me under my stretched-out arm. It's best if you don't share bedclothes with your partner (e.g. a duvet) as you if you do it's hard to ensure that the baby doesn't share the duvet too. I think the best thing is for you to have your own blanket and wrap it around yourself, while the baby is in his own cover or sleeping bag.

[Belle]

Think there are poss padded things you can have in the bed? Or a friend of mine used her v sh aped feeding cushion (with point downwards) as sort of barriers so baby slept 'in' the V, if that makes sense.

[Fuschia]

Baby between you and wall

Ensure no gap

Officially no pillow or duvet but I have always slept with one square pillow for mr ... A blanket or cot bed duvet just for you is good

Bigger the bed, the better

[Kes]

We had a co-sleeper cot. It was a full size cot but one side came right off and the base had lots of height options so you could have the baby right next to you but you couldn't roll onto him/her. I'd never have slept for worrying if she'd been in bed with me and I didn't want to kick my husband out! Once she dropped the night feeds we put the side up to the drop position and when we moved her to her own room (at 6 months) she was fine with it as she was in the bed she was used to.

Ours was from mothercare but I wouldn't recommend that one as the catch has now broken on it, I think cossato do the same thing and there are some smaller versions I think the NCT online shop have them.

[BellendenBear]

I don't have any advice about co-sleeping but just wanted to say that I think the 5am unsettled period is quite common in very small babies. Their immature guts seem to give them grief at that time of day. My daughter was the same, sleeping well for the first part of the night but then waking at 5 regardless of what time her last feed was and being generally unsettled from then on. She is now 7 weeks old and for the last few days (really hope I'm not speaking too soon) has been much better. Maybe this phase will end soon for you too - don't know if others have found the same thing? So if you're co-sleeping out of necessity rather than desire hopefully it won't be for much longer and you can avoid buying a new crib.

[snowboarder]

I don't know - mine is hard to settle post 5am too - and actually the bednest makes little difference apart from the fact I dont have to keep getting out of bed! The only way to ensure sleep at that time seems to be feed..and DON'T MOVE...

[ClareC]

Thank you for all the advice, definitely a necessity rather than choice, my toddler wakes around 7, 7.30 ish and there is no rest from then on! With the night feeds I realy need that extra couple of hours!

Interesting other babies do the same, gives me hope it may be temporary and just due to his age! my daughter was opposite to her brother, difficult to settle when going to bed but really easy throughout the night / early morning ..... I used to get to lay in until 10am!

Would prefer not to buy another cot, think I will give it a couple more weeks and see if he gets better. In the meantime will try out the v shaped cushion idea and separate quilts - up until now I've just had no quilt on me to make sure it can't go on him...... Ok this time of year, glad it's not winter!!

[snowboarder]

ClareC Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Thank you for all the advice, definitely a

> necessity rather than choice, my toddler wakes

> around 7, 7.30 ish and there is no rest from then

> on! With the night feeds I realy need that extra

> couple of hours!

>

Hmm maybe some are just larks from the start - my 2 yr old wakes around 5.30 too (I do leave him to moan/chat for a bit) but what with baby waking and not settling too my days are starting at 5am..ugh...or even earlier like today!

[Fuschia]

BAby hS always hD bf at 5 then dozed next to me till 7

Science of sleep Article I posted a few days back said they have a period of light sleep followed by one last proper hour before they get up

[ClareC]

I'm an early riser ...... Well was pre babies but 5am is rather too early for me! I really hope he isn't.

He got up at 20 to 5 this morning:-( Obscene time of morning!

Suppose I just need to go to bed at 7 with the babies!!!

[Fuschia]

I think you need to try to make that waking a night waking and resettle them

Don't get up otherwise it will really be a habit

Do you have blackout blinds

[Fuschia]

http://www.parentingscience.com/baby-sleep-patterns.html

[Otta]

I honestly believe that there is some instinct that keeps you aware of where the baby is, so you don't crush it.

[Fuschia]

And another brilliant article

http://www.parentingscience.com/infant-sleep-problems.html

[Ruth_Baldock]

I agree with Otta; husband is a very heavy sleeper but never once squished Cheeky S, even when I brought him into the bed without Mr B knowing...

[civilservant]

Junior civilservant slept in a cardboard box in our bed for the first few months of her life. It was one of those glossy white glazed cardboard gift boxes, but a cardboard box for all that. We lined it with cellular blankets and covered her with some more blankets, so that she had her own independent little nest between our pillows.

Even after she outgrew the box, she stayed in our bed on and off for the first four years of her life. When the kicking and taking-over got too much and she had to be banished to her own bedroom, she had a full-size bed so that I could get in with her if she woke at night. I'm sure that this is what preserved everyone's sanity and helped everyone get a decent night's sleep. She sleeps on her own now and can go back to sleep on her own if she wakes at night.

[ClareC]

Anyone got a cardbiard box going spare?

That is a great idea, especially as we are reluctant to continue this unless we have too for sanity reasons! I wouldn't mind buying one of the bed nest things if we intended to use it long term but am hoping he starts settling better post 5 am feed!

Already have a Moses basket, crib and cot...... Yet his preference was the P&T cocoon! Please no more baby kit we are being swamped by it, loving the box idea!!

Thanks Fuschia for the links, will be reading those tomorrow - attempting an early (ish) night tonight.

[Belle]

Cd you jushave the cocoon in bed with you? On top of duvet?