Is this tiredness normal for a nearly 3 year old....

[susyp]

My daughter is 3 in July and she dropped her nap just after she was 2. She's always been fine on no naps despite being pretty restless in the night. Just recently she has started to really sleep well at night but what is weird is that she is really exhausted in the day. Sometimes I'll have a terrible day with (like today) and then she'l lfall asleep in the car on the way home from somewhere - early or mid afternoon - and I;ll realise that's why. So I started to move her bath to 6pm and get her asleep by 630 which worked for a bit. She has a groclock and doesn;t call me until 7am but she does wake quite a bit earlier and sings etc to herself. I think it is the early waking that is a problem but if she wakes up there is not much she or I can do about it.

Today she was miserable in a class we do which starts at 1pm (after a quiet morning where we just visit a cafe), and then we went to the playground and she basically had hysterics all the way through until I gave up and dragged her home. Then she fell asleep in the car but woke as we got home. We agreed I'd quickly make dinner - but then as I served it she decided she wanted a poo - cue me going a bit mental and her crying. Then she fell asleep on the toilet and fell off it. I;ve put her to bed and she was asleep even before I put her down.

I would reintroduce her naps but she is starting afternoon school nursery in September so there doesn;t seem much point as I;ll just have to wean her off them again pretty soon.

It's awful as it just makes her miserable all the time. Some days she is fine, tired but happy perhaps, but some days, like to day, it's just a living hell (sorry to be melodramatic)!

Deep down I'm just really worried this is a sign of some awful illness as it;s a real change in behaviour.

Susypx

ps she also has been complaining very occasionally and only over the past few days - of tummy ache - but when I ask her whereabouts it always changes so I don't know if she is just saying that.

[Fuschia]

The first thing to say is that probably if you saw the gp and asked for some blood tests to make sure she isn't unwell or anaemic s/he would hopefully be sympathetic - and it's done without too much trauma by dedicated staff in paediatric outpatients

I saw the gP when child no 1 was pale and listless and kept getting styes

I felt much better once I was reassured

Second thing is how long has this been going on ... Is it a growth spurt?

And the third thing is that my daughter who is just three is also totally exhausted and wKing very early And having meltdown tNtrums

She seems to be in trNsition from toddler to little girl somehow, rather Ahead of her twin brother

[pebbles]

My 3 1/2 yr old is also utterly shattered. He dropped his lunchtime naps in December and was fine initially however the last month or so has just been dreadful. He's shattered, if we watch tv over lunchtime he'll fall asleep on the sofa unless i talk to him constantly and afternoons are quite often painful with him pushing me on everything. He started nursery in January so i'm kind of thinking it might be that??

I actually was thinking about booking him in for blood tests so now Fushia has said that I'm going to make sure i phone tomorrow.

Sorry I can't help but just wanted to let you know you're not on your own

[bumpy]

My boy isn't at that age yet but is it possible that although they don't potentially need a nap every day at this age a couple of naps a week would help?

[Pickle]

I have a similar situation. We've only just dropped a lunchtime nap for our nearly 4.5 (yes, you read that right, 4.5) year old, and only because his little sister (not quite 3) had well and truly stopped hers and it just felt wrong to be putting him up to bed every afternoon.

He is tired from the moment he gets up in the morning, which makes for a fraught Mummy by the time we get out the door to do the school run. He's at a school nursery 5 mornings a week, and is generally fine while there, but then I get the joy of dealing with him for the rest of the day.

I do think that some children really do need more sleep, my son being one of them. Until he was nearly 2 he was still having 2 naps a day (after lunch for 2 hours, then at about 4pm for 30 mins or so).

There's still a few months until September, and things can change a lot in that time, so I wonder whether it would be worth re-introducing the naps for a couple of months?

Definitely worth getting some blood tests done too - could be a simple case of low iron levels, which is easily fixed. Perhaps I should do the same for my boy!

[susyp]

Thank you for all your replies. I did book her in to see doctor and also spoke to NHS direct who suggested tests for anameia and diabetes. She shouldn't have low iron levels as has special non dairy prescription milk which is supposed to have all that she needs. They also suggested it could be a big growth spurt.

However, in this particular case it turns out she was actually ill yesterday (and I was super grumpy with her feel awful) - had temperature of 40 last night only brought down slightly by repeated calpol doses - much better today. But I think it explains this weeks tiredness.

I think that maybe I am not quite getting the balance right between doing lots of things to keep her stimulated and not bored (she is awful when bored too) - and then not overtired. But it's interesting what you all say - I suspect this age is so demanding for them that they do get very tired. I am going to hold off the blood tests for a while. The nurse at NHS Direct said same as Fuschia - paed nurse would do it and it wouldn;t be too bad - but I think I am just going to try and calmly observe her for a bit after she gets over this lergy.

thanks again

Susypx

[snowboarder]

My eldest is only 2 so not faced this yet, but I have a good friend whose 3.5 yr old has gradually been giving up her nap for the last year. As she has a younger child she has continued to put her daughter in her room after lunch for 'quiet time' for an hour or so - she now rarely sleeps but plays on her own and reads books on her bed. Occasionally she does have a half hour nap. Might this work? I imagine it wouldn't for my little boy (too energetic!) but maybe girls more amenable? Or just a bit of telly/sofa/reading together/chill out time after lunch until nursery starts in september.

Anyway - hopefully things will improve once your little girl is better. Good luck!

[susyp]

Yes i remember reading a while ago about the importance of quiet time in the day. We do have quite frenetic days as I am not great at staying in the house. But yes I think I am going to have to get a bit of balance. The problem is that she can go a bit mental if we don;t do enough but I think there is a balance to be had. I've already decided to ditch any ideas of doing anything in the mornings before nursery from September. Which is actually rather nice. My friend says she does things like go to a cafe etc in the mornings with her son who is in afternoon nursery - which sounds quite nice really - without feeling the pressure to stimulate her!!

Susypx

[minder]

Dropping a nap at 2 years old is exceptional, even 3 years old, so I wouldn't worry.

September is a long way off so I would let her have a nap until then. You won't have to wean her off as she will be older anyway.

Have you spoken to your health visitor? They usually refer you if they think there's a medical problem.

[millsa]

hi susyp, i've just read your first post and couldn't believe it - I felt like reading about my son, who will also be 3 in July. So many similarities, but when I read about her complaining about tummy ache it freaked me out a bit - because my son has been doing the same too!

We dropeed his nap last Oct when he was only 2 and a bit but only because he still slept for 2 hours after lunch and then didn't want to go to bed till 10pm. Evenings were long and difficult, but when he didn't nap, he went to bed easily at 7. It worked for months and I was happy, until about a month ago when he suddenly gets sleepy around lunchtime, falls asleep in the car or buggy around 4 or 5pm etc. Last week it happened twice - fell sleep at 4 and slept for an hour, and yesterday he fell sleep at 5.45 pm and actually slept through the night.

We did a blood test as our GP thought he might have a urine infection (because of tummy aches) but it came out clear.

We always do 'quiet time' after lunch but I think he just need to sleep, and I dont mind it anymore I just want him to enjoy his afternoons, but he just doesn't want to sleep, fights as hell unless we get in the car or a buggy. It really messes up my 2nd baby's sleep routine though as she needs to be in a cot for afterlunch nap. oh well...

And the most annoying thing is that he wakes up at 6 (instead of 7.30 or 8 as he used to) and wakes up yawning!

[susyp]

the stomach ache was related to the bug she has just had I think. Most people I know who have 2+ year olds don't have them napping anymore - the ones that do do it because they work/get back from work in the evening etc and want to see their children before they go to bed - as I stay at home I quite like her in bed by half 6! By the sound of all these posts it's quite common to be tired at this age - my mum pointed out how lively she is now compared to a few months ago - she's incredibly active like all children this age. She has been napping the last couple of days as she gets over her bug and it;s been hell putting her down in the evening so I have stopped it as of today!

Susypx

[Fuschia]

My twins are 3 and 2 months.. and still need to nap. We try to limit to an hour else they stay up till 8 or 8.30pm. Trouble is, it's very very hard to STOP them falling asleep and if we go in the car (or even sit quietly in front of the TV) late afternoon they tend to just conk out.

Actually I think most children don't rend to drop their nap until they are around the 3y mark, at least in my experience

[chantelle]

my son also is 3 in july. He recently dropped daily naps but I do think he benefits from having one at least a couple of times a week. His normal sleep hours are 8pm (by the time he's sleeping) to 8am-9am, but he has been waking every single night pretty much since naps stopped a few weeks ago and needs to be cuddled back to sleep. i've subsequently read that night terrors and the like are more likely if the child isn't having naps.

[Helen GV]

8 or 9am???

How did you manage that!

[Gussy]

I'm going through a very difficult period with my 2.5 year old and her naps or lack of. She's just dropped her lunchtime nap, but as of yesterday I have started them again! I don't think she could cope without it. She got through the day just about, but was completely shattered by 6pm and sound asleep by 6.30pm. Bliss I thought, but the nights have been awful, lots of waking up and sometimes waking at 1am and staying awake for 3 hours! Also early waking as well. I found it very hard to believe she could go from needing around 15 hrs in 24hrs, suddenly down to 10hrs or less.....

The difficulty is every day is slightly different and trying to balance the sleep/vs activity is very difficult. My friend told me that from around 2.5-3.5yrs, managing their changing sleep needs is very tricky, and she was right! So, for the moment I have decided that I am going to try to get her to nap again (although she took ages to settle today) and if that doesn't work, just insist on naps 3-4 times a week and see how it goes. The trouble was when she was napping in the day she was taking 2 hrs plus to settle at bedtime. That seems to have stopped for the time being.....

Another friend told me about her little girl stopping naps around 2.5 years, but then a month or two later, she needed to go back to having them again. And she is still napping now at 3 years and settling well at night. It seems like this is a phase full of changes and demands for our little ones (and US!). I've found it really hard to cope with the lack of sleep again as its been like having a newborn again (argggg!).

[chantelle]

HelenGV - it's amazing isn't it? Sometimes we have to rouse him around 9:30. Unfortunately I have to leave for the office most days at 6:20 so I don't enjoy the benefits! the weekends are bliss though.

[susyp]

same as chantelle, my daughter is finally sleeping like a log - 630pm until 730am today:-). It's been a very long road to get here. Today she has managed a really really busy day without falling asleep although is clearly zonked now. My Mum was with us today and is adamant it's just because her activity level has massively increased. So I hope so. She is well otherwise. Have just sent off to check no urine infection as yesterday she said once it hurt when she weed, and given that she had a temp at the weekend thought was worth a try. But thanks to this thread I am starting to think its just one of those development things. A very nice nanny I see at one of our groups said to me today she had noticed this happening when children go through growth spurts, so could be that I suppose.

Susypx