From co-sleeping to crib

[radnrach]

Does anybody have advice on getting your baby to sleep in their crib? My 8 month old has ended up sleeping in our bed most of the time due to lots of night feeds/teething/and now what I assume is separation anxiety. None of us are really getting much sleep, so I was wondering if anybody had hints or tips about how to make the transfer over to crib (full time?)

He starts the night in this crib after a nighttime routine, tends to wake up at least every hour and needs me to go back to sleep. At usually about 2 or 3 am he wakes up and stays awake for as long as it takes for me to bring him into bed with us. I get him to sleep, and then as soon as I put him down on his mattress he wakes up with a start and starts the whole process again. As soon as I bring him into our bed, he falls fast asleep until 8 am.

Any tips?

[Saffron]

Whoa,you could be describing Little Saff at that age pretty well! If you haven't already, read The Good Sleep Guide, and The No Cry Sleep Solution, it's a good starting point. (I have both, happy to lend). Is your son's bed next to yours or in another room? What type of things are in his bed. For example, I found that Little Saff slept better with a very flat pillow under her head and shoulders, esp'y when she has a snoty cold. At first I always used a pillow case that had been on my bed for a week, so it smelled like me. But now she's sleeping fine with a fresh one.

Around 8 / 9 months, Little Saff went in a cotbed in her own room, just down the hall. Husband was convinced that sleeping in our room was making her wake up, and that she would sleep all night if only she were in her own room. She didn't. Four months of agony for me ensued, as I'm the only one who can really settler her in the night. She finally started sleeping through the night more frequently around 1 yo.

At 15 mo, she still doesn't always sleep through, but there are some things (like the pillow) that seemed to help. I put rolled up towels or blankets down each side of her cot to make it cozy. I only use a tiny night light, plus we have a blackout blind. We try to keep her room very warm, 20-23 C. She doesn't like baby sleeping bags and often kicks off blankets, so I put a vest under her PJs if we're expecting a cold night. Also we found that keeping her up very late, eg 10-11 pm, a few nights in a row seems to break the cycle of frequent night wakings.

Some of this in opposite the general advice of cool rooms and early bedtimes. But if you've tried that, then maybe an unconventional approach will help.

You have my sympathy. Hope you find something that works for you and your LO. x

[radnrach]

Wow, thanks so much for your suggestions! His crib is in the room next to ours. I think I'll try some of your suggestions and make his cot more cosy, try putting him down later, etc. His room is already pretty warm because he likes to kick all his covers off as soon as he gets in there! He sounds almost exactly like your little one. I'm scared he'll never grow out of this phase! I'll also try reading the books you suggested. Thanks!

[Moos]

Agree with Saff. We moved Twosling from a bedside crib/co-sleeping situation, for similar reasons and it did take a few weeks of adjustment. I started by putting him in his bed to play (staying with him) so that he liked the crib and thought it a friendly place to be. I also intended to put him in it for naps before trying for all night, but he hated napping in a bed, so abandoned that! (We're working on this now....) He already had a bedtime routine so that helped. I sat with him for a few evenings to help him settle. Also, at first he went in the bed only until the first night feed, typically 1am, and then came back into bed. I think this helped the transition and also meant we could resume going to bed "normally" without having to sneak around. However, he did then start to wake earlier and earlier for the first feed, so it backfired somewhat.

Good luck!

[radnrach]

Saffron, which of the two books you recommend do you think would be the best investment?

[Saffron]

radnrach Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Saffron, which of the two books you recommend do

> you think would be the best investment?

Depends on your POV. 'The Good Sleep Guide for You and Your Baby' (Angela Handerson), has lots of practical advice for gentle sleep training. For example, using a 'fade' system, instead of just leaving Baby to cry it out. It also has charts for you to keep sleep records, and gives you examples of how to phase out extra nighttime b/f or formula feeds. I didn't follow it to the letter, but I did get a lot of helpful hints from it. You can borrow mine, or it's only a few pounds on Amazon. And it's only 42 pages!

Elizabeth Pantley's 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' and 'The No Cry Nap Solution', are much longer books. They give more detailed background about baby sleep patterns, why and how babies wake, etc. She is particularly known for the Pantley Pull Off (PPO), which is a method she devised for helping to diminish the suck to sleep association (for breast or bottle). If you really don't want to leave your Baby to cry it out (which we didn't), Pantley is very positive about the effects of gentle sleep solution for babies (and mummies). I'm happy to lend you my copies also. I live in Brockley (se4), but I'm in LL area (Ashbourne Grove) tomorrow.

[radnrach]

Thanks Saffron, I've PM'd you

[Fuschia]

Ep has an excellent website where she shares her top tips

[Fuschia]

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/advice/0071381392.php

[radnrach]

Hi all,

Just thought I would give a quick update on the situation - which has greatly improved! Thanks to Saffron for the lending of books which I have taken a few ideas from.

He is now sleeping about 4 hours at a time, rather than waking up every hour or so. This means he's only waking up twice a night, and seriously - it feels amazing!! The two times he wakes he seems genuinely hungry/thirsty so I'm just breastfeeding him and then he goes back to sleep pretty well (last night it took about an hour, but I'm not complaining!)

I've tried several things, I'm not sure if it's just one of them or all that have had an effect, but this is what I ended up doing:

-Having the room quite warm. The weather has helped with this anyway, but he sleeps a lot better without a blanket on so he can thrash around to his heart's content

-Playing quiet baby bedtime music pretty much throughout the night. We realised he was waking up at the slightest noise, and this has helped significantly. I think he's getting used to continuous noise and just wakes up and goes back to sleep. I'm not yet thinking about the fact we'll have to stop playing it eventually, but for now it's working.

-Trying pantley's method of going to sleep off the breast (rather than breastfeeding to sleep). I'm unsure as to whether or not this is working, but I'm still trying at it. He just seems to eat until he's fast asleep, so everytime I pull him off he goes rooting again and starts crying till I give it back. And by the time he's stopped and I pull off eventually, he seems to be asleep anyway. But - it might be working, I'm unsure.

-Getting him to sleep any way possible during the day. I've been taking naps with him, making sure he's sleeping in the pram, etc. The books said he needs to have good, long naps for him to be able to sleep well at night - so to begin with, we've just been getting him to sleep any way we can. Seems to be working! He's been napping up to 4 hours a day.

-He seems to have started rolling over onto his stomach to sleep. This is a new thing and freaked me out a lot when he started doing it. But he seems to sleep better this way, so I haven't been rolling him back over. I figure he's 8 months old and has good enough head control/rolling over skills that this isn't too dangerous. I think this has stopped him from startling awake as often and makes him feel more cozy. It gave me panic attacks the first few nights, but I think I'm getting used to it...

This all seems small, but has made such a huge difference to our lives! I'm not thinking this is the way it's going to be forever, but just the fact that his sleep at night has improved has helped me to no end!

Thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions.

[nymom]

Hi, I have been following this thread with interest. My 6 month old used to sleep with me and fall asleep on the breast. Then about three weeks ago she was pulling of the breast but crying trying to sleep. I took this as a cue to try to get her to sleep on her own. I have moved her to her cot for naps and nighttime sleep. I now feed her and then put her into her cot awake. She does cry but for less than 5 minutes. I stand there rubbing her back and saying some key words again and again. I also have the sleep sheep on with the ocean sounds. I seem to be able to get her down for naps and for her first evening sleep within 10 minutes, which is great.

The probelm is she is still waking OFTEN. If she is asleep at 730 pm she will wake at 10. I resettle her with the same back rub, key words. Then she wakes at 11. I take her out and feed her and put her back in awake same routine as before. She is very hungry at this time. She will then go to about 1 am. I do the same routine. Then at 2 she will wake and seems hungry. By this point I bring her into my bed every night out of exhaustion.She then wakes every hour or so until 7am.

Any ideas on how to get her to sleep longer??? I am ok feeding her around 11 and again around 2 or 3. But its all the other hourly wakeups that are making it hard. I dont want to let her cry it out at this point. Any other advice?

Edited to add that she is sleeping on her stomach as she was rolling onto it anyway and seemed to like it better. Also to say that when sleeping with me the full night she was waking up just as often.

[oldnewromantic]

Nymom

I can only tell you what I did that worked for me and my daughter.

She was about 5 or 6 months and waking up every hour. If I put a dummy in she would go back to sleep but only for an hour.

It became clear that the time had come to help her learn to settle herself back to sleep.

We used the method where you let her cry for 1 min, then soothe for 1 min (but no eye contact), then leave for 1 min etc. And gradually extend the time between soothes, taking the cues to do this from her. We did not just let her cry until she stopped.

I was in no fit state to do this so I slept in the other room and my husband looked after the baby. The first night was awful. The second night she woke a couple of times. The third night she woke once.

She always knew we were there for her, and I can't tell you how much happier we all were after just a couple of days.

The result was a much happier baby who had learned how to sleep. Obviously if you don't feel comfortable with that method, for whatever reason, then I really do hope you find a way that works for you and your family. But please consider it.

[Fuschia]

Nymom it sounds to me like she us hungry and so though you resettle her she wakes again after an hour ,when you feed her

Does she feed enough in the day? Does she cluster feed in the evenings? I would suggest just feeding her every 3G at night for now

You will get more sleep

But do make sure she isn't skimping in daytime milk, 6m is s time of great distractibility