Breast feeding documentary on tonight..

[ad2000]

Ta! x

[pommie]

i am all for breastfeeding but when she went to see the woman who was still breastfeeding her 5 year old and 3 year old, one look at her breasts when she opened the door and i was like oh my god, they were nearly on the floor!

[oldnewromantic]

Firstly, I should probably say I didn't watch the programme because I thought it would make me angry.

I bottle fed from 3 weeks and 1 week respectively. I don't feel guilty, I see a huge number of advantages with bottle feeding and it has not adversely affected by beautiful healthy children. It's great that there is help out there for those that want to carry on. It really is. But I felt I ought to feel guilty for stopping. One woman in Peckham library even stopped talking to me when I said I didn't breast feed. I remember walking into Kings and seeing all these posters of happy mums smiling beatifically into the eyes of their darling breastfeeding children. Well you know what? I don't think I looked at my children like that till I bottle fed. Partly cos I couldn't see their face jammed into my boob. Who knows, maybe that's what I was doing wrong. So if anybody out there is breastfeeding, stressed, hating it, and wants to talk to someone about stopping? Happy to help.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Pommie; it's pregnancy that makes boobs go southwards, not extended bf. Best friend still bf her almost 4 y/o, has a pair of 32bs!

[Belle]

Oldnewromantic - I answered the door for a delivery when my son was about 8 days old and a neighbour popped her head in, when she heard I'd had the baby, first thing she said was 'And you're breastfeeding?' - it was the worst question I could have been asked at that point and I nearly burst into tears (though I know she meant well). i think I said weakly 'trying to...'. And ran back in feeling embarrassed.

Isn't it awful people end up feeling embarassed at times no matter which way they're feeding their children? What business is it of a random passerby? Either way it's not crack for god's sake, it's milk!

I think my chances of bfing this time around are much higher because I'm much more chilled about using formula if I have to - as in Ad 2000's experience - and if in the end bf doesn't happen again, I know this time that the world won't end and that there are benefits (not saying it's better, hate the two being pitched against each other, just saying there's are always silver linings to be found!).

[sunbob]

'ad 2000' 'anger at how teen mums were portrayed'

You're right it was just how they were 'portrayed'. It was the presenter who suggested that teens would only bf if celebs did. What the actual girl said was that she went to a class but it was no good. That could have been something useful for the programme to investigate.

[Ruth_Baldock]

The impression I got was that she went to a class about how to make up a formula feed? MAybe I misheard, past 9pm I am knackered and often find it hard to concentrate on telly properly...

[Polly D]

Always used to get annoyed at being asked "are you feeding him yourself?"

Errrrrm...

[buggie]

Polly D Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Always used to get annoyed at being asked "are you

> feeding him yourself?"

> Errrrrm...

...think I'd have been tempted to say "Ooo no, I've a lady who does" and see their faces!

[poppy]

oldnewromantic Wrote:

I remember walking

> into Kings and seeing all these posters of happy

> mums smiling beatifically into the eyes of their

> darling breastfeeding children. Well you know

> what? I don't think I looked at my children like

> that till I bottle fed.

Oldnewromantic, I am so with you - I look back at those first few weeks and feel really sad that struggling with breastfeeding completely consumed me to the extent that I wasn't enjoying getting to know and bonding with my beautiful baby. So many advocates of breastfeeding cite the enhanced bond with your baby, and I know in many cases that's true. Yet for me, I would have bonded a whole lot quicker if I'd relaxed and let myself reach for the formula.

[Belle]

Polly/Buggie - hate that question too and have also thought of giving a similar response!

[pommie]

ruth_baldock

maybe she should have worn a better bra then ewww

[Lochie]

I thought the programme was a little too simplistic. I would have liked to have seen it explore how mothers are supported in their decisions around feeding, not just looking at the pros and cons of each method. And also perhaps look at the ways in which breast feeding is marketed in this country.

I think it is fantastic that there is such a positive promotional campaign by the NHS on breastfeeding, but I myself felt immense guilt at the way it is actually messaged, because essentially I ?failed? at it. I remember sitting in Dulwich Hospital when my son was a week old waiting for a blood test, and feeling terribly pressurised by a posted that said ?Give your child the best start in life: breast feed?. I don?t object to the poster but I do object to the lack of support that is given to mothers who decide to bottle feed, particularly around their morale and feelings of worth if they do decide to give up. If you choose to formula feed, does that mean that you do not want to give your child the best start in life? Midwives, doctors and health visitors should be supporting mothers in the decision making process for the sake of their mental health rather than anything else. I managed to exclusively feed expressed milk for 6 weeks and it nearly drove me into the ground, I wish someone NHS-wise just said to me ?its ok to formula feed? instead of suggesting that I plough on whilst I was clearly struggling so badly. Mothers should be supported and feel empowered at this vulnerable time of their life whatever their decision.

Ok that?s my rally call to the sisterhood over with!

[ladyruskin]

I am expecting my first baby in July and I have had episodes of depression prior to and during the pregnancy. I hope to be able to breastfeed exclusively but am prepared for the fact that it may be better for me & my baby to bottle feed (either using expressed milk or formula) if I have problems after the birth.

My sister is a paediatric nurse and works with a team of health visitors (she is also training to be one). She is well-known in my circle of friends for evangelising about breast-feeding. When I mentioned my plans to her, she lectured me about how terrible it would be and that introducing a bottle to a new baby is the worst thing to do if I am hoping to breastfeed. She even started quoting UNICEF guidelines to me with a sour look of disappointment on her face.

I haven?t even started breast-feeding yet, but already feel let down not only by the NHS but by my own sister who obviously doesn?t consider my mental health to be an important factor in the happiness of my baby. I know health visitors are there for the care of baby but some consideration must be given to helping the mother. Isn?t a mother?s state of mind and self-esteem as crucial as breast-milk in helping the baby to thrive?

[Lochie]

@ladyruskin

Isn?t a mother?s state of mind and self-esteem as crucial as breast-milk in helping the baby to thrive?

Yes it absolutely is and this was not examined by the documentary. Do what you feel comfortable with, enjoy your baby and never ever feel guilty about your choices...

[oldnewromantic]

Here here!

Right behind you @LadyRuskin. I made sure I had the steriliser and bottles ready and waiting. Because by the time you get to the point where you decide to hit the bottle, you are in no fit state to start reading instructions!

I would just like to point out, that there was always someone on hand to help with breastfeeding. In fact the world and his wife couldn't wait to get their hands on me. But a lady in my maternity ward had been bottle feeding and cleaning the bottles by rinsing them out in the sink in the bathroom. I know this is an extreme, but could no one have shown her how to use the steriliser?

Anyway, I also just want to say that everyone on this thread is wonderful, non-judgmental, and totally awesome. Yay!

[new mother]

@ladyruskin

Isn?t a mother?s state of mind and self-esteem as crucial as breast-milk in helping the baby to thrive?

Yes it absolutely is and this was not examined by the documentary. Do what you feel comfortable with, enjoy your baby and never ever feel guilty about your choices...

Quite right! Completely agree.

Oldnewromantic, I bottle fed from the start and din't think twice about it. The babies were happy, grew beautifully, slept through the night rom 8 and 9 weeks and got their first colds etc at nursery well over the age of one. I and my friends view the dictatorial militant b'feeders very negatively and are sad they seem to be looking for things to disapprove of in other women. Everyone should do what works for her IN THE ROUND - and that incldues bonding, health issues, sleeping, partner's involvment etc. not just data that doesn't bear great analytical scrutiny about the risk of asthma to the child in his/her 40s.