As posed as a question on my facebook status...

[Ruth_Baldock]

So, you're 24wks pregnant. Standing up on a moving train/bus makes you feel faint/be sick. Do you loudly ask for a seat, or sway around going green so as not to p*** anyone off or appear pushy?

(Bonus points if you have a buggy and baby in tow, possibly tantruming whilst people tut loudly at you)

[Saffron]

Go on R_B be pushy! It's one of the few times in life when you can honestly get away with it. xx

[Ruth_Baldock]

Yes, yes I think I will. Especially to those who see me getting on the tube at tooting, and then PRETEND TO BE ASLEEP. I see you there, you buggers!

[Mellors]

Absolutely ask loudly. No question about it - rude buggers.

[buggie]

Loudly ask without a hint of shame! I use to get on the bus home (at the end of a 12hr shift so evening) and if no seat was available on the lower deck, would loudly say "Can anyone give up their seat to an xmonth pregnant woman?!"

In the mornings, I'd get the 40 in at the start of the route so didn't have to tackle a packed bus (cheating I know!).

Not only did I get a seat every time, I also got congratulated on being so bold as to ask several times - never got tutted/any funny looks. Discussed this lots with hubbie when I was pregnant (and remember there being a long thread on it), and he made the point that if you're sat on a bus/train, you don't constantly look out for pregnant women to get on (in his case especially nose is normally buried in book/kindle) so do need a prod (to which he would immediately respond!), although with S and buggie too am sure that you are more noticable!

It is a social norm that pregnant women/anyone travelling with small children should be offered a seat, so by asking aloud most people should have their social conscious pricked and feel not only you but other passengers watching for action.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Totally agree, Buggie. When I am noticed, people normally fall over themselves to offer help/seat. I usually reply 'Yes, take the toddler home with you, send him back in a few days...oh. You meant help with the pram? Thanks.' I am hilarious, obviously.

I only normally get really angry when people obviously see me and avoid eye-contact/pretend to be asleep. RUDE. Also, this one time (er last week...) someone pushed past me on the 171 to get to the priority seat. Bus driver had a go, if I remember 'Oi, son! That's not YOUR SEAT'.

God, I sound so OLD. But necessary, huge bump is huge afterall.

[Ko]

yes ask for a seat! i always give up my seat to pregnant ladies and people were very kind during my pregnancy. also its safer to sit in case the bus/train suddenly brakes.

[Ruth_Baldock]

This is the point I always make, especially when being told 'I have been at work all day too, so I am also tired'. It's not about being tired, it's about being vunerable. Also, 171 goes around Kingsway/Aldwych at about 50mph. I don't call it the death bus for nothing.

[edanna]

I once saw an elderly couple knocked to the floor on a bus going along Aldwych - I think someone cut in front of the bus so the driver had to brake suddenly. In fact I was about to offer one of them a seat, even though i was pretty pregnant, thinking I was getting off soon and would be fine standing. Don't like to think of being thrown like that with a bump and it did mAke me more careful on public transport. The couple were fine, though shaken.

[Ant]

Ask for a seat. It resolves the pregnant-or-just-fat dilemma which keeps a lot of people quiet.

[Otta]

>:D

[Pickle]

I would ask, at least that way you'll shame someone into giving one up for you!

The pregnant vs. fat thing... many years ago, after a hefty dose of the "Heathrow injection" after moving here from NZ I was offered a seat on a tube. Mortified. Not pregnant, just worked too close to Brick Lane and had a love of curries and beer. Oh the shame.

[tiddles]

ASK!!. Many years ago when a commuter on the tube, I was completely engrossed in my book and when I got up to get off, there standing right in front of me, was a very heavily pregnant woman. I honestly was completely oblivious and I still cringe when I think about it.

[dully]

Its not really fair to assume the world is being inconsiderate if you don't ask first. No one wants to offend a chubby lady - they've got enough problems as it is. I personally always give up my seat if I see a pregnant standing up but I do think it is irresponsible of pregnant women to not ask then stand and be annoyed that no one offered. I think people try and mind their own business most of the time. The person who is responsible for the well being of the unborn child is the expectant mum so they just have to get over the discomfort of talking to strangers and sit down for safety sake. Bumps are vulnerable to halting buses. I've never seen anyone refuse to move, personally.

[prm]

Absolutely ask for a seat! I sometimes used to refuse because I genuinely didn't feel like I needed it but got a bit scared once when the train suddenly braked and I hit my bump...so I say without hesitation do it for your baby's safety x

[Otta]

I think you should ask. I often offer my seat, but at other times, I've got headphones on, and my head in a book, and am oblivious to anything going on around me. If I got a tap on the shoulder, and looked up to see a pregnant lady, I'd happily move.

[Belle]

on the previous thread about this, someone suggested asking a carriage at large, if you feel uncomfortable about addressing one particular person - think that's a good technique. .

[mima08]

Ask - and get the TfL "Baby on Board" badge - it did actually help in quite a few situations when people were obviously undecided on the "pregnant vs chubby" question ;-)

[reneet]

Warning Massive rant.

I used to walk to nursery then work. Now I am huge and get pretty tired so I take the bus. I have a preschooler with me and I am pregnant. I NEVER get offered a sit on the bus. I asked several times and have stopped asking now. I would drive to work bur no parking. I get very annoyed, a few days ago my daughter was very tired and she kept on saying VERY LOUDLY, "I would like a seat mummy", almost made me cry. NO ONE offered her a sit, people (not disabled as far as I could see) were seated on the priority seats and NO ONE Offered. Lazy g*ts is all I can say.

So go ahead Ruth ashame the b*****s into standing up.