Fed up with other kids in playground!

[Kimmy1080]

No-one should have to justify following their children around in a public place. This is certainly not a bad thing. Someone has a view on it, it's only their opinion and a range of views is good. For me, watching from a distance could be too late to prevent an incident (not necessarily with another child, just an inquisitive toddler getting into mischief). You are there to protect your children and at 2 years of age, I certainly followed my two around in a busy park because yes, I am a protective mummy and a proud one too.

[zeban]

I'm sure Queenie is a protective parent too, I'm not sure why you're suggesting she's not. Is it because she suggested you might be neurotic?! Queenie has probably gained enough experience with 3 children to make a decision as to which situations she needs to be overly protective and which ones she doesn't feel the need to be quite so protective.

[Kimmy1080]

Wow - did I really suggest Queenie was not a protective parent? That certainly was not how I wanted that to come across. The point was that everyone parents differently and I don't believe we should have to justify it. I also hadn't realised Queenie had specifically called me 'neurotic' - my post was an opinion and wasn't any kind of backlash.

[zeban]

No she hadn't called specifically called you neurotic. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

[Kimmy1080]

No worries Zeban.

[Queenie23]

We all "parent" differently - of course I am protective about my children - but I am trying to be relaxed with their upbringing and not beat myself up if I make mistakes (which of course I do) and also give them some space and freedom. I just think parents can pontificate unnecessarily and I was making the point that there is no need to get hysterical if your child is hit by another. Just tell your child off if they hurt another child and tell the child off that has hurt your child. Ultimately children are children and they need to be told if they are doing something wrong. I didn't realise that my point of view was so radical.

[Saffron]

It is all a little more 'tender' though, when your child can't talk yet. The playground is a different place for example for a 1 yo compared to an 8 yo.

xx

[CRAZYLADIES3]

Whoever called the 3 year old a thug, is a FOOL!!! What a pathetic person!!

[littleEDfamily]

Why is it so impossible to recognise that there are children out there who behave like thugs? As this thread so clearly demonstrates there is a huge spectrum of parents' expectations regarding what is normal, and I have no issue with that as for the vast majority this falls within what I would call acceptable (even if I wouldn't accept my children behaving as some would).

Before the age of roughly 3, I would put most 'incidents' down to normal developmental aggression, however, there are some (very few, thank goodness) children who behave aggressively, without consideration for others and can be quite spiteful, as the original poster described. Crazyladies3, I'm not sure that being a realist necessarily makes me pathetic or a fool. Any parent who deludes themself about the injury that these few thoroughly unpleasant children can inflict upon other children - especially very small ones - is allowing their ideology to get in the way of their children's safety.

PS edited to say I just dictionary.com-ed 'thug' and perhaps it was a bit of a strong word, and therefore am replacing with 'hooligan'. I stand by my point that there are some truly awful kids out there (not a fashionable view, I realise, and the reason I am not a teacher!)

[zeban]

Thank god you're not a teacher LEDF! you do actually realise that children who act aggressively may be being treated aggressively by their parents/carers or other children themselves? This doesn't make it ok but a 3 year old doesn't realise that do they? Children copy behaviour

[ClareC]

Was the comment not about a 6 year old hitting a crawling baby? My nephews are 5 and 3, both are really gentle with my 14 mth old, whilst I accept the 3yr old could hurt her unintentionally, the 5 year old's understanding and communication is far more advanced and it just wouldn't happen. Any parent that thinks a 6 yr old hitting a crawling baby is simply down to frustration and normal (and acceptable) is kidding themselves!

[cuppa tea]

'Developmental aggression' can go on longer than age 3 of course. I honestly do not see how a 3 year old can be a thug. Even the law doesn't think children fully understand right from wrong until they are 10....

And how can you follow an older child around while you are breastfeeding a baby...If anyone has any answers to this I would like to hear them! Most children at one time or another behave aggressively. I would say this is more normal than not. I don't think anyone is saying that hurting another is OK. I'm sure most parents prevent it when possible. It's just not always possible. These incidents need to be kept in perspective.

[Curmudgeon]

Their children are aggressive bullies

Your children are overly-excitable and going through a phase

My children are highly sensitive

plus ca change

[helena handbasket]

Well I AM a teacher and frankly there are a lot of children out there who behave badly not because they have social problems (that's a whole other story) but simply some children are not taught to have any boundaries. Wait until these children are ten or eleven and end up in my classroom, and all of the nice respectful students sit and learn nothing because the day is spent on basic behavior management. It's not funny and if I were the parents of those children I would be livid. As it is I think I may be giving up teaching because I have just had enough of trying to teach when it's really just crowd control, day in and day out. I feel more like the zookeeper to be honest and it's demoralizing. I went into teaching because I'm good at it and it's noble and I wanted to end my day by feeling good about what I contributed to society today........... HA! And I know that these kids would be FINE with a bit of hands-on parenting.

zeban Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Thank god you're not a teacher LEDF! you do

> actually realise that children who act

> aggressively may be being treated aggressively by

> their parents/carers or other children themselves?

> This doesn't make it ok but a 3 year old doesn't

> realise that do they? Children copy behaviour

[zeban]

That's what I meant really HH, even if the children are not taught to have any boundaries, that isn't their fault, so my sentiment remains the same- calling a 3 year old a thug or delinquent is ridiculous and pathetic. Yes I do imagine it's a nightmare working with children that haven't been given any boundaries and I don't blame you for wanted to quit teaching.

Curmudgeon, I Love it :)- that's exactly it!

Curmudgeon Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Their children are aggressive bullies

> Your children are overly-excitable and going

> through a phase

> My children are highly sensitive

>

> plus ca change