At the risk of soundling like a teenager....

[whishter]

A friend of mine wanted me to post on here to see if a man who has caught her eye in Dulwich swimming pool is single - can anyone help?

She describes him thus:

'Early/mid forties, grey/black hair, well built, bit of hairy chest, well spoken, southern accent...swims in the mornings, probably most mornings but definitely Fridays, between about 8.30am and 9.30am. Not wearing a wedding ring but he may be in a relationship obviously. Any info greatly appreciated!

PS she is not a stalker, I promise.

[*Bob*]

Yep, that's me

[*Bob*]

Is your friend the one I saw wallowing around in the slow lane..? Yellow polka dot two-piece, glass eye, verruca sock and uneven breasts..?

Not interested, I'm afraid.

[jumpinjackflash]

hmmm your 'friend' you say Whishter...

;-)

[HonaloochieB]

whishter Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

>

> PS she is not a stalker, I promise.

Yes she is. Run for your life hirsute fellow.

Run to Brockwell Lido where sanctuary will be found.

[Huguenot]

I think I saw him with an Indian girl in the Bishop? ;-)

Joking aside, if she can't find the courage to strike up a conversation about how chilly the water may or may not be, I'm not sure what good it's going to do her to find out whether he's single or not.

Maybe some discussion about potential opening gambits followed by some role-plays?

[Keef]

  Quote

strike up a conversation about how chilly the water may or may not be

Although he might think she's suggesting he looks a bit... Erm... less than impressive.

[daizie]

Yes he might think she's suggesting he looks a bit shrivelled up wrinkled and small down bellow . Best to keep it positive by suggesting that she pulls her swimming costume right up her crack and hoisting her tits under her chin then swimming past him and commenting on how amazing life is

[DJKillaQueen]

Or she could pretend to be drowning in front of him and hope he saves her life therefore demanding that she rewards him with lunch! If he let's her drown, then she knows where she stands at least :))

[Huguenot]

Perhaps cook him some cupcakes, and leave them at the end of the lane where he does his turns, alongside faked photos of him going about his everyday business with her standing alongside..... ;-)

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Pretend to have a massive cramp attack in your toes. Suggest he takes you for a medicinal gin and tonic.

[derbyean]

Pretend to have a massive cramp attack in your toes. wrote PGC........it may be more interesting if you say "I've had a massive cramp attack in my groin and can he rub it better for an hour or so, or do you have to rush back to your wife and brood?

"Heyyyyy....what floats your boat.....big boy"!

Might be a rewarding opening gambit.

It is no good being subtle, unless you thrust your hand down the front of his bather's and leer at him with your tongue out or something almost as obvious, most men just don't get it.

Tell her (your friend) all men worthy of that name are an easy lay, now get to it.....or the back o' my hand!

We would all like a detailed 'pulling' report, that would encourage all the other shrinking violets to chance their arm!

[whishter]

Thank you for all the advice - I will certainly pass it it and if nothing else it has made me chucke especially your comments Huguenot!

I, like you all look forward to the "pulling" report!

[edcam]

This poor guy is now going to be unable to have a peaceful morning swim as half of the posters on this board will suddenly be feeling aquatically inclined in order to see what they're missing.

[emc]

OK, OK, all really funny stuff but can anyone help??!! they might be made for each other...

[Belen]

Oh Yes Here again something waiting for you! :)

[derbyean]

'all really funny stuff but can anyone help' wrote emc.

She will have to risk getting wrinkly finger tips by hanging around in the pool until the knight in shining armour appears, but all this will come to nought unless she takes the initiative by speaking to him.

Ask him "can you still do it, or am I wasting my time"?

If he asks 'do what'?

Take his head with your left hand, pull him in close by his buttocks with your right, so you are now pressing against his groin and stick your tongue down his throat.

If he protests saying 'what do you think you are doing I am a married man' say "sorry my mistake, I thought you looked familiar, you reminded me of a good looking (emphasise the 'good looking' because we all like praise)

stud I once knew"!

Then ask "have you a single twin brother who can still do it"?

If the answer is 'no' say "then stop trying it on with an innocent woman half your age" ......

.....and swim away from the useless, time wasting, no hope, toss-pot!

Meanwhile whilst you're there,

just look around for a possible substitute whom you might hone your new found snogging skills on!

[derbyean]

Sadly all the subtle hints women use like flicking your hair with your fingers is just wasted energy, it is totally lost on the male of the species.

Unless you are actually dragging him into your lair of sexual torment....... by his willy, he just won't get it,

and neither will you!:))