Some reassurance that i'm not doing a bad job!!!

[susyp]

I haven;t read through all of this as I was SO DESPERATE to post a message back to you.

I had similar early nightmare with breastfeeding , although it did then settle down, only to get a nightmare again when she was 4 months.

I went through similar hell guilt trip etc. Eventually a health visitor told me that only the first couple of weeks/month really mattered.

Subsequenctly I found out I had breast cancer (when she was 6 months old). If I had carried on breast feeding for the full year as I had planned (and felt terrible when I couldn't), I would now be dead.

I have a total hatred of the NCT and all groups that push breast feeding and give us all such guilt over it. Fine if it works. But I totally don't think anyone should breast feed more than a few months as you can't check your breasts (and pregnancy increases your risk of breast cancer (initially) - don;t tell you that in the NCT do they.

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY about not breast feeding. Your baby will sleep better and be happier on formula. Breast feeding is not the be all and end all. Were I to have another baby (not risking it!) I would only breast feed for max 2 weeks. It's not worth it on you (tiredness/hormones) and your life. I had hellish time in first few months (again stress is a risk factor for cancer). In the end you need to do what is easiest and most sensible and STOP THE GUILT.

sorry.

I really ,really hate the NCT. I also had a c section and felt terrible about it because of all their crap about natural birth. Oh, and the hospital wanted to induce me after 6 days late as I was feeling slightly less movements and I was resistnat (as my nct teacher had told me to be) - some brilliant friends told me to do what the doctor said - turned out my daughter was in distress in the womb. Had I done what the NCT had suggested - she would probably not be here now.

Cretins.

arg

sorry keep editing to add more ranting.

Just to say when you look back when your baby is toddling around this WILL NOT seem important. I think I was mad to stress about it now. There are many many more things you need to do to protect and look after your baby and this is not a big one.

Susypx

[buggie]

...so sorry to hear of your experiences susyp - especially regarding NCT... we were lucky to have classes with Tess and can not have come out with a more different experience, sounds like your teacher was bad, not the whole NCT x

[anna_r]

Gosh Susyp. I'm so sorry you had to go through what sounds like an incredibly difficult time and I really admire your strength - I can't imagine what it would be like to have breast cancer and deal with such a small baby.

Perhaps this may be a discussion topic for another thread. However I did want to respond to your point about breast cancer and breastfeeding as this is something very close to my own heart. My mum died of breast cancer 15 years ago when I was in my teens. I am currently breastfeeding my 7 month old daughter and one of the important reasons for me to carry on breastfeeding was the link that has been found in several studies that breastfeeding reduced the risk of breast cancer, particularly (as far as I understand it) for women with a family history of the disease. For example:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1143616/

The research is a detailed analysis of 47 published studies, with nearly 150 000 participants, from 30 countries.

Breast cancer is the most common cancer in the United Kingdom, with more than 39 000 cases a year. Nearly a third (12 700) are fatal. The research shows that the risk is reduced by 7% for each baby a woman has and that for every 12 months she breast feeds (not necessarily consecutively) she decreases the risk by a further 4.3%.

Currently in the United Kingdom 69% of mothers start off breast feeding, but more than half have stopped after four months. The study says that if women breast feed each child for six months longer, 1000 cases of breast cancer a year could be prevented.

[anna_r]

Back to the original topic

jennyh - I don't really have much to add to all the wonderful reassuring responses that everyone else provided. It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job and breastfeeding is most definitely not the be all and end of parenting. Already you have given your baby a great start and it is most important to have a happy mum xx

[Ko]

jenny, you sound a wonderfully loving mother to your little one. if breastfeeding doesn't work for you, please don't worry about it. i wasn't able to breastfeed, but my little one is just fine on formula. the most important thing is that you are happy and baby is happy and that you are enjoying each other xxx

[bluesuperted]

I would firstly like to echo the support for jennyh - my first baby is nearly 7 months old and I can remember vividly the scary world of the first few weeks, filled with awe and terror in equal measure. But it does get better. And easier, and you actually manage to keep loving them MORE even when it doesn't seem possible! Carry on doing a great job and listen to yourself and your instincts above all others. ? ? ?

Secondly though I think this is not the thread for a) bashing breastfeeding b) bashing ALL aspects of the NCT. Like Buggie my experiences of the NCT were all positive, and I had a c section (as did 4/6 of my class!) and a very supportive teacher thereafter. Re: breastfeeding, this is also not the thread to list its benefits but it is also unfair on all those women (many who struggle, some who get as far as they can but not as far as they'd like, and many lucky ones like me who don't have major problems but still work hard at it) to claim that a baby will be 'happier and sleep better on formula' - that is not tolerant of the choices of women who bf and also is anecdotal evidence at best, completely unsubstantiated at worst. My own 'evidence' is one deliciously happy and totally random sleeper (some nights good, some not so amazing) who I'm lucky to still be?breastfeeding and plan to continue for many months to come. ? ??

Also I totally feel for anyone who has to deal with the horror of cancer with a young family, very glad to hear it turned out ok in the end for you susyp, it must have been terrifying - but think your post could end up scaring quite a lot of bfing new mums out there at a very vulnerable time. I knew about the links between breastfeeding and breast cancer prevention that Anna_r mentioned but haven't heard of the increased risk immediately following pregnancy and will do some research myself on this asap. In the meantime I hope this thread doesn't make any mums give us breastfeeding before they are ready out of fear.?

[jennyh]

It's interesting because it's clearly such a strong issue and dependent on your experiences on those early days really shapes your views. I would still love to breastfeed and absolutely acknowledge all the be edits, I wish I'd had the early support but equally due ro nt circumstances ive had to move on and instead see the value in what i am doing for her, with all your help!!! It def isn't an anti breastfeeding issue but rather about how women are conditioned to feel which is due to lots of things, the need to provide, to nurture and bond plus the health benefits of breastmilk. I just think that women are pretty amazing and having seen/felt my body grow a baby and trust it to go through labour and come out the other side...I sometimes stop and feel a sense of pride and we all should!! 

Everyone on this thread loves their children and wants the best for them and acknowledges that the best may not follow the supposed ideal but as I'm being told, the important thing is being happy and healthy whether breastfeeding or not! Really you can tell how much better you have all made me feel!!!!!



Jennyx

[sillywoman]

susyp Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

>

> I have a total hatred of the NCT and all groups

> that push breast feeding and give us all such

> guilt over it. Fine if it works. But I totally

> don't think anyone should breast feed more than a

> few months as you can't check your breasts (and

> pregnancy increases your risk of breast cancer

> (initially) - don;t tell you that in the NCT do

> they.

>

> .....

>

> I really ,really hate the NCT. I also had a c

> section and felt terrible about it because of all

> their crap about natural birth. Oh, and the

> hospital wanted to induce me after 6 days late as

> I was feeling slightly less movements and I was

> resistnat (as my nct teacher had told me to be) -

> some brilliant friends told me to do what the

> doctor said - turned out my daughter was in

> distress in the womb. Had I done what the NCT had

> suggested - she would probably not be here now.

> Cretins.

> arg

>

> sorry keep editing to add more ranting.

>

> Susypx

Gulp! Have PM'd you susyp

[mrs.lotte]

How are you getting on jennyh?

[jennyh]

Hi everyone! Well im still trying but have had back to back mastitis in both breasts and onto my second round of antibiotics but it's just agony and my nipples are red raw from the pump. Sadly my milk supply has really taken a hit as a result despite painfully trying to pump every 3 hours, just nothing coming out. As I expected it's getting harder as she is being more demanding on my time and also needs so much more milk. I fear I may fail to carry on much longer  but ive done nt best and im ok with that. Ive done a few public bottle feeds abd feeling bit more confident! Thank you so much for asking!!

X

[ad2000]

Hi there! Just logged on to see how you were - update here is: mastitis gone, bug gone, thrush on way out and had a night of formula last night after a bit of a tiredness melt down. Baby back on boob and mum less frazzled. Also discovered fab mum/baby group. Drop me a pm if you have time x