Where do i start.....

[newmommytobe]

Hi there,

Sorry if there are threads about this already, but I've just found out I'm pregnant and my partner and I have decided to continue with the pregnancy after much thinking and discussion. :)

I'm excited but scared shitless, and have been reading various articles online but thought it be easier to buy a great new mommy book(s) that would tell me everything there is to know from pregnancy right through to birth and beyond.

Does anyone have any recommendations??

Thanks!

[curlykaren]

congtatultions...sorry no advice re books, sleep deprivation has wiped my memory almost clean but there is loads of good stuff online and any specific queries will usually get an answer here x

[Pickle]

Congratulations - it's such a confusing scary time in early pregnancy, I remember not having a clue what to do!

I've got a copy of "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" which you are welcome to have if you would like it? I bought it when pregnant with #1 and both Mr Pickle and I used to enjoy reading it every week to find out what was going on with the baby at each stage in pregnancy. Never opened it when pregnant with #2 :-$

Let me know if you would like it.

P x

[Ko]

'what to expect when you're expecting' is very good - very balanced and offers a range of viewpoints from what i recall. congratulations and hope all goes well xxx

[sillywoman]

COngratulation & how sensible to start here. Am sure you'll get some very wise advice from more posters shortly. The only thing I would say is don't take advice from any of your American friends and relations (am guessing here, but the clue is in your name ;)). The system for labour and birth here is completely different from the US. Here Midwives have a much higher standing, they are trained to be the specialists in straightforward pregnancy, labour & birth. If your pregnancy, labour and birth is straightforward you may (and probably will) go right through without ever seeing an Obstetrician. This is a good thing, not to be worried about. In the UK - unlike in the US where all care is Obs based - Obstetricians usually only get involved in a pregnancy or birth when there is an issue, either pre-existing or pregnancy/labour induced.

Other than that I would say register with a good midwifery team if you can. If you can't, get onto their waiting lists. The best ones locally are; The Lanes at Crystal Palace Rd GP practice; Oakwood at Forest Hill Road GP Practice and The Brierly at East Dulwich Hospital. Good luck with everything.

SW

Both the Books mentioned above are excellent starting points for those soon to become a Mum.

[poppy]

My favourite baby book was "what to expect during the first year". Useful to read while pregnant and then quickly became my bible once the baby was here.

Pregnancy-wise there were various free booklets in the Bounty pack that the midwife gave me at my booking appointment. I think one was called Emma's Diary. They had week-by-week pregnancy info and to be honest I found them - and the countless baby magazines I became obsessed with buying- just as useful as any of the pregnancy books I bought.

[prm]

Congratulations! the babycentre.co.uk website is brilliant - you can register for weekly emails and they keep coming after the birth too. I always find them so interesting and relevant.

[Sanne Panne]

Congratulations!!! I also enjoyed "pregnancy week by week" because of all the beautiful pictures of the developing foetus (I do have the right book in mind right??). Beware of overly obsessive forums like fertilityfriend etc because you'll think something is wrong with your pregnancy (for no reason!) every time you do or don't feel a particular twinge at a particular time. Stay on the laid back side is my advice. If you find the idea of midwife-only care scary (which might be the case if you're from SA where c-sections are standard or from the US/Canada where pregnancy is sometimes over-medicalised) you can always get some (private?) ob-gyn consultations here if that puts you at ease.

Said another non-Brit :) (although one from a country with even more radically non-medical attitudes to pregnancy/childbirth so take my comments with a grain of salt if you don't want to go down this path).

[newmommytobe]

Thanks so much to everyone for your advice and most importantly, your support!! You're a brill bunch of people! I will check out the books recommended and also the websites.

Pickle - That would be great if you dont mind me taking the book off your hands. I'll PM you for details?

That's also been the confusing factor...the difference in healthcare provisions in the UK and back home so hopefully, the books will sort me out.

Thanks again everyone

x

[littleEDfamily]

Agree that www.babycentre.co.uk is a great resource. But I think if you are reading the Forum, you'll get a much better insight into what motherhood is really like than any book!

Just a reminder to put your name down asap for a midwife and NCT course.

[sillywoman]

newmommytobe Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

>

> That's also been the confusing factor...the

> difference in healthcare provisions in the UK and

> back home so hopefully, the books will sort me

> out.

>

>

Hmmm, I wouldn't hold out too much hope of that TBH. Maternity care tends to be quite fragmented and localised. It can differ wildly from one small geographic area to another e.g. The care offered at Kings Midwives House compared to the care offered by The Lanes on Crystal Palace Rd. For this reason most (all?) 'what to expect' books - even the NHS's own ones (Emma's diary) only tend to touch on the kind of care to expect in the most vague & general of terms. Standardised scan dates etc,etc. You'd do much better to do your own research based around what to expect from your of hospital and how to get the best services available locally to you.

[curlykaren]

Emmas diary made me want to poke my own eyes out, awful stuff, but just my opinion!

[Smiler]

Congratulations!

Dulwich library has lots of pregnancy books - cold try before you buy!

I like 'blooming birth', as had lots on managing emotions around the birth/fear etc.

[candj]

Congratulations to you and your partner! I have a pile of pregnancy and baby books that I've been meaning to get rid of that you're welcome to. I used to lend them to my friends having babies - sometimes I'd get less back and sometimes I'd get new books I had never seen back! As a yank, I found the system here in the UK very different than back at home unless you go private then you do get a consultant OBGYN the entire way (which is more like the states). Good luck with it all and pm me and i'll be happy to drop the books off.

[Moi23]

Congratulations! I found 'What to expect in the first year' very useful. And Emma's Diary, even if it is a bit naff at times. The best thing I did was join an NCT group. Not for the info they give you, but because we all kept in touch, met regularly, and were always going through similar stages with our babies. Was a fantastic support network and they've become really good friends.

[newmommytobe]

I'm in the process of switching GP's - hopefully that doesn't matter when registering with a midwife. I'm going to try and get an a "booking appt" with Kings.... I've heard some mixed things about Kings, but generally reviews of the midwives have been really positive. I'll be packing my own food though! At this stage, I can't think of anything more scary than having a home birth even though the idea of being in a more familiar surrounding does seem appealing. The only thing that puts me off is that they can't adminsiter epidurals...that is big thing for me.

Candj - thanks you so much for your kind offer!! That's so very sweet of you. A couple of very nice people have offered me their books so I might start with these and see how I get otherwise I may just get myself even more muddled up by reading too much...(if thats possible).

x

[sillywoman]

The GP practice you're with will affect which Midwifery team you are referred to hence what type of antenatal & labour care you are offered.

Of course you can have an epidural with a home birth, you just have to go to the hospital to get it - same as with a hospital birth. It's just that with a homebirth you'll likely be going with a midwife already with you rather than on your own.

[Doulady]

Congratulations! At your first meeting with your midwife (whoever that will be) at around 12 weeks they should give you a pack including Emma's Diary and a big purple book called (very originally) The Pregnancy Book - this has a great week by week guide inc. what to eat etc, but also has advice re work, maternity leave etc which I think is quite useful.

I'd also agree completely with Moi23 - get yourself onto your local NCT Antenatal Class (normally around 30-34 weeks but book early). You'll meet some brilliant people who are going through it all at the same time and will be great support once the baby arrives. Plus you may learn a little something too!

[candj]

Not to sound contrary SW but I don't think you can have an epidural at home because your heart rate and bp needs to be constantly monitored.

[bawdy-nan]

Congratulations!

I liked What to Expect an also the Rough Guide to Pregnancy. I also read some Sheila Kitzinger (quite hippyish but very good) and the Active birth website was useful too.

I had two homebirths - planned that way at first because I wanted consistency of care and then because it was just brilliant being in my own space. Felt the least stressful way of going about it. (I hadn't enjoyed the rigours and rules of hospital when I'd visited for scans etc). The distractions were minimal and I was lucky enough to have two straightforward births using a tens machine and water for pain relief.

I know that lots of people do indeed have a difficult time during labour but mine were both very positive experiences - exciting and extraordinary. Which is to say that it isn't necessarily going to be awful. I didn't go to any NCT classes but did a yoga course with Janet Balaskas which was really helpful. I did a yoga class with Sitaram at Kings for my second child and I;d really recommend it. I felt very well prepared and confident going in to labour and had lots of relaxation and breathing techniques ingrained in my body (still use them now at the dentist!).

If I were to do it again however I'd def join NCT for the ready made group rather than the info.