Please Help me - Bereavement counselling help, Feeling Lonely and Depressed, Free Help Please

[natty01295]

I have Not had any counselling Because it won't bring her back my Mum

do you recommend ?

[IlonaM]

Morning Natty,

You are right of course, counselling won't bring your Mum back but it will give you the opportunity to talk through your loss and your feelings. That can be very helpful. I know that if I bottle things up inside it can be like a pressure cooker which can make everything far more concentrated and stressful. Having someone to talk to can be like the valve allowing the build-up of pressure to escape. A counsellor could also give you ways to cope with the tremendous loss you feel and days when things are more difficult. Counselling could also be an opportunity to remember and celebrate your Mum's life. You could give it a go to see if it would work for you. It is worth a try, isn't it? If you decide it is not for you, then at least you've given it a go.

Thinking of you,

IlonaM

[dbboy]

Natty, I know it is hard dealing with bereavement especially when it is a parent. Nothing will ever bring back your mum but as time goes by it will slowly become easier to cope with the loss and adjust to a different life without her, but you have memories of her to help you remember her.

You do not say if she was buried or cremated, in either case you may find it helps by visiting the cemetery or crematorium memorial gardens to remember her.

If you want to meet other people like you who have had a bereavement of a parent, one of the groups mentioned in this thread may be a way of helping you cope and move forward with your grief. It is really really hard for people who have had a bereavement to talk with others who have also suffered a bereavement as it can bring back to the pain of loss they have had and moved on from. Can I ask how long it is since your loss?

Hope this has helped.

[Robert Poste's Child]

The way I see it, talking is one of the ways we process painful experiences, particularly things like losing a loved one where there isn't a solution, and turn them into something else that we can live with. Whether it's a counsellor, a doctor, a priest, a phoneline or a wise friend, it's about finding someone who's strong enough to just sit with you while you do that.

I hope you can find the energy to take the next step and contact one of the specialist organisations people have suggested so you can get the support you need.

[Pugwash]

Take note from Prince Harry's recent disclosure as to how he felt following his mother's death.

It is important that you talk, ideally, face to face with someone about your grief. Having lost both parents - one to cancer and one to dementia and chest infection, it is hard to accept that you will not see them again. Within 3 months my husband lost a cousin, an aunt and a father - he ended up depressed and unable to function normally. Fortunately his GP recognising his grief sought help for him and he was seen by a professional in the Community Mental Health Services for a few months. He was then mentally stronger to deal with the subsequent death of his mother and uncle, as well as my parents.

Various people have offered advice and organisations to help you - you just need to be brave enough to make the next step.

[red devil]

Judging by her last but one post, Natty seems keen to meet people, just not the counselling kind. Has anyone on here tried to arrange to meet her?...

[Elphinstone's Army]

Him -

[siousxiesue]

red devil Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Judging by her last but one post, Natty seems keen

> to meet people, just not the counselling kind. Has

> anyone on here tried to arrange to meet her?...

It looks that way, but when the original post talks about bereavement and loss it may be that most people feel out of their depth meeting up with someone so recently bereaved. Some even find it hard when it's a friend already.

[natty01295]

Yes its been very difficult to struggle on with life, and being lonely and with no mum to talk too

[siousxiesue]

natty01295 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Yes its been very difficult to struggle on with

> life, and being lonely and with no mum to talk too

Please try and reach out to some of the suggested groups on here, it's hard to take the first step but I'm sure you won't regret it Natty

[robbin]

robbin Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Posted by natty01295 Today, 06:52PM

>

>

> Q: Where can I meet people?

> So I don't feel so lonely

>

> > siousxiesue Wrote:

>

> > http://www.bereavementuk.co.uk/

> >

> > These people do meet ups, the website has

> photos

> > of a group of people in a pub. Get in touch

> with

> > them Natty x

>

> How did you get on trying them?

Natty - did you try clicking on the link that siousxiesue posted for you? As she said in her post, they do meet ups but they also have a forum and live chat facility for making contact over the internet. It is not a professional counselling service.

[natty01295]

Yes I clicked on the Website , And will try meet ups for comfort

[siousxiesue]

I'm so glad! Let us all know how it goes, we're all on your side Natty x

[Gaynor Hill]

Hi Natty

I have emailed you to meet up you emailed to say you would be in touch for a coffee but not heard from you I understand how life is difficult for you but people are trying to help please try and take up someone's help first step always the hardest

All the best

Gaynor

[moondancer]

Gaynor : Nattie indulges in meetus interruptus so that your and others kind administrations will amount to naught.

those of you with kind intent and helpful suggestions would do well to execute a little research and realise that your altruistic endeavours are misplaced and learn to read between the lines.

Your kind heartedness does you credit, but you are being taken for mugs.

[Gaynor Hill]

Thanks for that moondancer your right when I received email natty said cafe or pub I said coffee in day time that ended there

I just can not believe someone using depression and bereavement like this

Thanks for opening my eyes

Gaynor

[natty01295]

Hello, do you want to meet ??

[natty01295]

Its been difficult and am finding it hard to do things

[jojop]

After caring for my mum for 4 years she passed away at the end of February. I have been reading this post for the past few weeks and often wanted to respond but finding the words is difficult. To discover now that this is possibly a 'scam' (thank you moondancer)is unbelievable, can someone really be heartless? Reading the kind suggestions has helped me though so I suppose some good has come out of it.

[natty01295]

I am very upset and crying and angry, Many Thanks to the kind people who gave me links to websites, I am looking into them,

but I am really upset at the bad comments

[IlonaM]

Morning Natty,

I have been following recent developments on the thread and I would suggest taking a little time to explore some of the positive ideas that people have posted and messaged you. Why not take a break from the thread? - you can concentrate on seeing if any of the suggestions are helpful and constructive steps for you and avoid the negative comments which are clearly upsetting you. You can always return to the thread later on.

Why not go to one of the walking meet-ups in the park, have a look at the bereavement website with the option to join meetings, and have a think about counselling? There are a lot of very good suggestions on the thread and I'm sure people have pm'd you good ideas as well. Why not concentrate on coping with your recent bereavement for now and think about meeting a new partner later on when you're feeling stronger and are coping better?

The Forum has its limitations and maybe it is time to take the first steps by exploring some of the ideas posted.

With best wishes,

IlonaM

[Gaynor Hill]

Morning Natty

When I replied to your email I did say we can email each other then meet for coffee not pub but you did not contact me that was a few weeks ago and I know nothing about you other than what you posted

I hope you get the help your looking for,and understand you do not feel like doing anything but you seen to post on forum so was surprised you did not chat via email

All the best for the future

Gaynor

[Robert Poste's Child]

IlonaM, what a lovely person you are. Good message.

[natty01295]

Me And my family are Very unhappy about the loss of our mother. You're the sick one if you think it's a scam, all I wanted was someone to talk too. Just because you may have been scammed doesn't mean that everyone out there is lying. you should keep your comments to yourself or not bother to add comments to other people and not ask to meet up.

[natty01295]

Please be nice as I am Grieving