Pious Parent Parking ???

[stringvest]

I do understand the need for Parent Parking and would not usually use it. One day in Sainsbury's I was told off for using the parent parking by two extremely pious ladies. I had collected a very elderly couple from kings and they really needed some shopping having no bread or milk at home, (80s deaf with alzheimers, 80's partially sighted post operatively frail). I couldn't use the disabled bay as the person hadn't brought their badge. I tried to park in a normal space, but the Alzheimers one cannot be left unattended for wandering off whilst trying to park and then assisting the other one. And the frail one has mobility problems so I needed to be near the entrance and the car doors open wide to assist the person out and get to get the wheeled frame from the boot. I was going to leave the frail one with a coffee, whilst I whizzed round with the other, as it would be a treat for them both really.

"You shouldn't park there, you haven't got children" "You should move that and let a parent park there!"

"These two are more trouble than kids" I joked "I won't be long" ... "Thats not the point" they replied. "These spaces are for parents" ... "You could say these are both parents and toddlers" I tried to joke again.

Both the old people are now anxious and want to know whats wrong, questioning me "whats the matter, what are they saying?"

"Im not having a good day as you can see, please leave me alone" I said ... they continued muttering their disgust at my heinous use of a toddler space, when there were many more available.

I think I was supposed to let one wander off and get brought home by the police again later, let the other one damage someones car trying to get in and out .... or get a cab for them both from the entrance of the car park to the entrance of the shop ....

Why can't people be a bit more empathetic or understanding ...???

[Saffron]

No good deed goes unpunished, eh? Some people are just sh1ts. You did the right thing. I hope your week gets better. xx

[edcam]

Entitled parents? In East Dulwich? Surely not....

[Lordship 516]

Stringvest - you did great.

Best just thank these people for their advice & help & then ignore them.

Most normal people understand and have better things to do.

[Chick]

Should have just told them to foxtrot oscar.

Well done for doing the careing and for your patience.

[Jules-and-Boo]

I'm with Chick... I wouldn't have given them the time of day.

Perhaps a 'thank you for pointing that out....have a lovely day' and then ignored them.

[uncleglen]

when I was a parent of small children I was as fit as a fiddle- you have to be to keep up with them. We had no car so we were on and off buses and trains with them and had shopping AND you had to fold up your push chair in those days.....these days mums and dads are middle-aged and cannot really cope- so do have some sympathy- NOT.

I think they should get rid of the spaces now that they do home deliveries there is no excuse to waste petrol going to the supermarket ......

[Jules-and-Boo]

there is that.

[Loz]

Should have told them they were your mum and dad. Technically, you'd have been fine, then.

[adonirum]

On this subject, something that I find slightly unsavoury is a trend, mostly in Tesco stores, to site parent & child parking nearer than disabled parking, albeit only by a few yards.

People choose to have kids, people don't choose to be disabled. Why should a life choice have preference?

[cella]

Apols if this has been covered before but what purpose does parent parking serve - can't immediately think of any reason?

[Seabag]

cella Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Apols if this has been covered before but what

> purpose does parent parking serve - can't

> immediately think of any reason?

Do you have young children ?

[cella]

I would be interested to understand the reasons for having it?

[Siduhe]

The space round the car and parking space is wide enough to open the doors properly to get children in and out of the car seats.

[TheCat]

I think most reasonable people (parents of young children included) would have empathised with the OP's situation, and allowed him to carry on without comment.

Perhaps though the reason why this is a touchy subject is that there's no doubt that the children/parents parking spaces are abused at Sainsbury's dkh. There's often people who don't need to use them, parking in them. As has been pointed out above, the issue is mainly the fact that one can open the doors properly to get young kids in and out. Personally, I don't really care how close they are to the supermarket, and would be quite happy to see them moved further away, this would then stop them being abused, and silence anyone suggested parents are favoured above the disabled.....

[rendelharris]

TheCat Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think most reasonable people (parents of young

> children included) would have empathised with the

> OP's situation, and allowed him to carry on

> without comment.

>

> Perhaps though the reason why this is a touchy

> subject is that there's no doubt that the

> children/parents parking spaces are abused at

> Sainsbury's dkh. There's often people who don't

> need to use them, parking in them. As has been

> pointed out above, the issue is mainly the fact

> that one can open the doors properly to get young

> kids in and out. Personally, I don't really care

> how close they are to the supermarket, and would

> be quite happy to see them moved further away,

> this would then stop them being abused, and

> silence anyone suggested parents are favoured

> above the disabled.....

This is very good sense: while I see the need for parent and child spaces for the extra access room, I've never seen why they need to be so near the door, and as per the above, if they were located further away people wouldn't abuse them (not that I think the OP was) and stop any resentment...

As for the person who recently had a go at my little sister for parking in a Sainsbury's disabled bay (with her blue badge) on the grounds that she didn't look disabled, and who on being told she has multiple sclerosis said "why aren't you walking with a stick then?" well, it's a good job I wasn't there...

[Seabag]

I''d probably guess there's less use of the disabled vs the child spaces.

Maybe, it's deemed safer to move little one's less distance. I know when my kids were little it made shopping just about bearable, but as time flies you forget just how blinking hard work shopping once was.

I'd not want to see them moved, I think Sainsbo's have got them about right.

[Jeremy]

Yep.. FFS babies and little kids are bloody hard work. There's no way of saying this without sounding like a prat, but if you don't have kids then you simply won't get it.

A bit more space to get them in and out of the car, and a shorter walk to the store makes a difference... I imagine (I've never actually managed to get one of the spaces)..

[rendelharris]

Jeremy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Yep.. FFS babies and little kids are bloody hard

> work. There's no way of saying this without

> sounding like a prat, but if you don't have kids

> then you simply won't get it.

That does actually make you sound a bit of a prat Jeremy, presupposing as it does that none of us who are childless ever look after friends' or relatives' children (and that non-parents are incapable of empathy). I've taken up to three under-fives (15 months, two and four years) shopping together, I've also, in the past, taken a pair of mildly confused 80+ relatives, and from my personal experience I'd far sooner have a space nearer the door with the olds than the young 'uns, especially one with extra space - without being crocked enough to qualify for a disabled badge, old folk often find it difficult to get out of cars when there's a narrow gap.

[johnie]

rendelharris Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Jeremy Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Yep.. FFS babies and little kids are bloody

> hard

> > work. There's no way of saying this without

> > sounding like a prat, but if you don't have

> kids

> > then you simply won't get it.

>

> That does actually make you sound a bit of a prat

> Jeremy, presupposing as it does that none of us

> who are childless ever look after friends' or

> relatives' children (and that non-parents are

> incapable of empathy). I've taken up to three

> under-fives (15 months, two and four years)

> shopping together, I've also, in the past, taken a

> pair of mildly confused 80+ relatives, and from my

> personal experience I'd far sooner have a space

> nearer the door with the olds than the young 'uns,

> especially one with extra space - without being

> crocked enough to qualify for a disabled badge,

> old folk often find it difficult to get out of

> cars when there's a narrow gap.

Actually RH I think that just reinforces Jeremy's point. There is a big difference between occasionally doing it and doing it relentlessly day after day, when kids are about to go into meltdown, you haven't had a decent sleep for months etc. etc.

[rendelharris]

johnie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Actually RH I think that just reinforces Jeremy's

> point. There is a big difference between

> occasionally doing it and doing it relentlessly

> day after day, when kids are about to go into

> meltdown, you haven't had a decent sleep for

> months etc. etc.

Well yes, point taken (though personally I've done my share of longterm care, like looking after my sister's baby as she completed her bar finals). But at the risk of being slapped down (as I'm sure I will be) by parents, this highlights a particular circular argument which always comes up if the question of preferential treatment for parents with children arises: immediately one is told that one can't understand it unless one is a parent with children, ergo only parents with children are entitled to comment on it, and they're obviously not going to be against it, so the debate is shut down.

I adore children and fully support measures to give parents help, but that isn't unconditional. Parents of young children will by definition almost always be relatively young and healthy, so I wouldn't regard it as a great imposition to ask them to walk an extra thirty yards or so with their children if that meant spaces nearer the door were freed up for elderly people for whom every step is a challenge.

[johnie]

RH, I think it is more a safety aspect. If you have a kid in a pushchair and a toddler walking, said toddler is quite difficult to manage. Drivers of cars reversing out can't easily see a small person. Used to stress me out, but then I always used to park at the far end as I couldn't be bothered with the crowded areas closer to the shop. In fact I think that's the real issue. Why does everyone want to park as close as they can?

[rendelharris]

johnie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> RH, I think it is more a safety aspect. If you

> have a kid in a pushchair and a toddler walking,

> said toddler is quite difficult to manage.

> Drivers of cars reversing out can't easily see a

> small person. Used to stress me out, but then I

> always used to park at the far end as I couldn't

> be bothered with the crowded areas closer to the

> shop. In fact I think that's the real issue. Why

> does everyone want to park as close as they can?

Fair enough. Totally agree, on the rare occasions I go there in a car we park in the back half where there's much more space and room to get out and walk the whole eighty yards!

[Seabag]

I genuinely think there should be car parks for children and old people only. Everyone else should park in a completely different place some distance away, and should you transgress then Lazers would be fired into your eyes and your car crushed.

That includes your silly Smart Car RH

[sally buying]

Seabag Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I genuinely think there should be car parks for

> children and old people only. Everyone else should

> park in a completely different place some distance

> away, and should you transgress then Lazers would

> be fired into your eyes and your car crushed.

>

> That includes your silly Smart Car RH

Have you a death wish with the above remark?