Rear (parent)-facing pushchairs

[ladyruskin]

The lord of the manor & I are expecting our first baby in July and are currently venturing into the mind-boggling world of pushchairs. My mother in law (a teacher) is rather insistent that we get a parent-facing pushchair, as otherwise our child will be slow to develop language skills and is unlikely to be able to string a sentence together before the age of 30.

Whilst naturally we have the best interests of our offspring in mind, we also have certain limitations to consider (living in a 5th floor 2 bed flat with the world's smallest lift being the main one) and we need to be practical when making our decision.

What is the general consensus on the research available re parent-facing pushchairs? I feel that we will interact with the baby in other ways and that if we get a traditional pushchair (the Maclaren XLR being a current fav) it won't be too detrimental to the baby's development.

Also, is this a sign of things to come in respect of interference from the MIL?

[felt-tip]

our child has a forward-facing pushchair and he is a dribbling mess most of the time.

[Pickle]

Our first child was in a parent facing pushchair and was an early talker. Second child shoved down the bottom of a Phil 'n' Teds unable to see anything, let alone us. Also an early talker. I don't reckon it makes much difference.

Good luck with the MIL, sounds like you might need it!

[Lochie]

I have a second hand bugaboo and I do like it as can switch the baby between facing outward and facing parent. However, when my son was first born I lived on the 3rd floor of a building of flats and can tell you it was an absolute nightmare to even attempt to get it up and down and in and out of landings and stairwells. You need to take into account how big your lift is before buying any pram I reckon.

My mum was a teacher too and marvels at parent facing pushchairs as she claims they didn't have them in her day. I get a bit annoyed at all this 'research' we get bogged down with - maybe it is useful sometimes, but what do the other people who can't afford/don't have parent facing pushchairs do? Surely the human race wouldn't have become so intellegent if it depended on parent facing pushchairs! I would go for the pram you like the best and is most practical, and if that is parent facing so be it. To be honest my son from the age of about 10 months preferred looking out at the cars and traffic and people than looking at my chatting face - so I am not sure how long the merits of parent facing prams last for anyway.

Totally unscientific answer so sorry about that, but just speaking from experience of having battled with a pram whilst living on the 3rd floor! I am sure if your lift is big enough though you can take your pick....

[Moos]

Just for practicality, the XLR can come with a bassinet which temporarily turns it into a parent-facing pram, though a big baby would probably need to be out of it by 3 months or so.

Might be a bit of a faff to remove and fold each time you come home, but doable. The bassinet could also double as a smallish Moses basket. We swapped our XT for an XLR with bassinet for No.2 and think it was a good move.

He hasn't started talking yet, though, and he's nearly 12 weeks! Must be due to the tongue tie..

[Ruth_Baldock]

Your MIL is talking sh*te. Sorry, but I get SO ANGRY when I hear of over-bearing MILs. STAND YOUR GROUND NOW, seriously.

We had Bubs Baldock 1 in a bugaboo bee, parent facing, until he was around 6m. Now he's world facing. He is also extremely chatty, and this is an example of his language of 13 months:

Me: Breakfast time!

Bubs: Yes!

Me: Do you want some banana?

Bubs: *shakes head* nah nah nah NO.

Me: Apple?

Bubs: ah yeh yeh yeh. NOMS.

I think that's a pretty good convo, we both get out point across.

Maclaren xlr seem to be good for tight spaces, have a friend in a similair position to you.

[Keef]

My wife, is very very pro parent facing pushchairs, and our 20 month old never shuts up, so maybe there is something in it.

We have one of these, which we've been really happy with, but I think it might be a bit big for your needs.

[Mellors]

I wish my kids would shut up!

[Dudley]

I feel quite strongly about having a parent facing pram at least for the first 6 months.

When I had mine I was living in a 1 bed flat for the first 6 months and had a spiral stairs outside as well as an internal staircase but we still got a parent facing pushchair.

Use a baby carrier/sling for the first 6 months and your life will be easier.

I know it is not ideal but I kept my pram in my car and went down the stairs and then put her in that. Ok it is hassle but you get used to it.

Think if you were a tiny baby and had just known lovely warmness for 9 months and now you are outside in the cold and rain.

At the very least you want to see your Mum!!

[sandy_rose]

I do like the fact that our pram faces the parent and I know those in our nct group who are now looking to get a new pram 8 months on due to their baby hating their out-facing one. I live on the 2nd floor, no lift, so don't take it upstairs with me, it's left either downstairs or in the boot of the car overnight. Having said that, we still use the sling sometimes for shorter trips (max one hour due to weight) and perhaps that would work for you as a complement to a out-facing pram for the first 6 months? I don't think you need to worry about language development but you might Consider developing a bit of a deaf ear when it comes to your MIL...

[marscapone]

I always put both my boys in the buggy to get them to sleep for first few months so didn't matter which way they faced. I had MacLaren Techno XT throughout - would have liked parent facing at times, but for us it wasn't worthwhile as I wanted to just have one pram that lasted and had small space to park it in. And it's still going strong...

[Saffron]

I like our parent-facing buggy because I like to look at my daughter and talk to her while we walk... and we do A LOT of walking! So if I had a fwd facing buggy, I wouldn't see as much of her. We got a secondhand Bugaboo Gecko, and we live in a 1st floor maisonette with no downstairs storage for the buggy. It's a challenge.

Also consider that you can get carseat adaptors for many buggies now. You can pop the carseat off and fold the buggy to go in the lift. You're LO should be ok in a well-fitted carseat even for longer walks in the buggy. I think John Lewis and others do 'buggy demos'. So maybe go look at a few different styles. And when you find the one you want, ask your MIL to buy it for you! :)

[The Nappy Lady]

Didn't have a parent facing pram/pushchair for no.1 and she always screamed in the buggy and hated it.....I ended up carrying her and pushing the buggy 1 handed so many times when she was little as her screaming really stressed me out. She didn't really take to going in the buggy until she was about 8 or 9 months old as I recall, maybe even older (long time ago now as she is almost 7!).

I had a Bugaboo Frog 2nd time around and loved being able to see baby and chat to her as we went along, and she always seemed really happy in the buggy, even when she eventually progressed to forward facing. I think there is a very basic need - instinctive I guess - as a parent to be able to see your baby.

Maybe it was just different personalities between my two girls, but I think there is something in the whole parent facing thing.

However....I think you have to be practical about your circumstances too. There are some good ideas and suggestions here re using a sling, and maybe keeping a buggy in your car if you have one. The Bugaboo Bee seems very popular and small and light for people with a flat/lift to cope with.

Re talking - frankly if you are the type of people who talk a lot, and are likely to natter away to your baby anyway - when changing nappies, cooking and going about daily life, then your baby is likely to be an early talker anyway. If you are naturally a quiet person, who doesn't talk much unless spoken to, then they may well be slower to talk. This is my theory anyway, acquired over the years!

[bluesuperted]

I'm a speech and language therapist and have read all the research about patent-facing buggies and also feel quite strongly about it, both from the perspective of parent and child. The National Literacy Trust has lots of information (Talk to Your Baby campaign) and a nice video which explains the benefits of parent facing for babies. I don't have stair issues where I live but I do like to go into the city and out and about on buses and tubes which is not super easy with my Bugaboo Cameleon. My son is nearly 6 months and MASSIVE but I use a very good sling loads and love it (Ergo, best thing I ever bought) and it comes into its own for trips into town (lots of planned breaks/sit downs!) and the parent facing Bugaboo when I walk locally for half an hour plus. However I do agree with others that I'm sure if you're chatty with your baby at other points it probably won't cause any major language delay/problems. From a personal standpoint though I just love being able to see my little boy, whether that's under the sleep hood of his sling or facing me in the pram, so I'm not just doing it for his benefit :) oh and your MIL sounds like she's going to be fun!! I agree she should buy your buggy (nice lightweight parent facing ?500 Bugaboo

Bee please??!).

[womanofdulwich]

How can yo not want to see your childs' face as you walk along? I think it is a priority- otherwise you have to keep stopping and checking them. Ok after 6 months maybe you move to a lighter buggy that faces the front, but I think it is one of the real joys of being a parent. Nothing worse than seeing those zombied looking parents/carers with a mobile phone in their hands who talk on their phones for 30 mins non stop and ignore their charges!!! grrrrr.

[Keef]

I'd agree that a good sling will be the best money you could spend. If you go for mclaren xlr, I think there is a sling you can buy with it, but never seen one.

[ladyruskin]

Can you use a sling for the first 6 months? Obv depending on baby's weight...

[bluesuperted]

My boy is on the 98th centile, I'm 5ft 3 and I've managed to predominantly use a sling for the past 5.5 months both at home and outside. No plans to stop either as it's so easy and great for bonding/his sleep/my exercise levels: yesterday I made a wrong turning in Forest Hill and went up a very steep street - like some kind of military fitness regime with a 20lb baby attached! Back feels fine today as weight all carried on the hips in the Ergo. My husband loves the sling too and takes over the carrying at weekends - pushchair doesn't get much of a look in! I read some research that showed carried babies cry less (to do with womblike sensations of being in the sling) and that has certainly been true with my son, who is very carried and very cheery!

[ladyruskin]

Thanks bluesuperted.

[Saffron]

Ooo yes, deffo agree with having a sling! It's so much easier on buses etc, and tiny babies just love to be carried. Plus it feels lovely to carry your baby. There are lots of reported benefits to carrying newborns (and older babies too), so perhaps you can ask MIL to buy the sling too?! heh heh heh

[karter]

Thanks for showing me the xlr your baby is beautiful.

Keef thank link is good can you hang your shopping from the handles with that buggy? Did you have that buggy in womad last year in that terrain? Thanks

[Keef]

Karter, didn have it at womad, but have had it off road before. It's a bit big on buses, that is my only real issue with it. It is sturdy enough to hang bag over the back. As I say, it's only real downfall is that it's not particularly compact, even when folded.

[felt-tip]

womanofdulwich

How can yo not want to see your childs' face as you walk along?

Some people are just bad parents I guess.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Erm, EXCUSE ME felt-tip? Please say that's tongue in cheek? Because I'd rather not look into my babby's face for 10 minutes when we're walking down the road makes me a bad parent? And the rest of us that do it?

Don't bloody think so.

But anyway, echoing everyone's sling recommendations- baby wearing is lovely (this coming from a front-facing buggy user, and bad parent). We have an ergo and a big scarfy one, better for bubs than a Bjorn (or 'crotch danglers' as my friend calls them) because of weight distrubution. I wore Seb a lot before I got a bump and I do still sometimes wear him on my back...but not recently because he's a bit of a chubster now.

[Keef]

our child has a forward-facing pushchair and he is a dribbling mess most of the time.

I assume it was either tongue in cheek, or it was sarcastic towards womanofdulwich.

To be fair to WOD, she didn't seem to be suggesting that you were a bad parent if you didn't have your child facing you, but rather that it makes your life easier in some ways.

Chill people!

I love the family room, everyone gets on, but everyone is ready to get all defensive if they feel their personal parenting techniques are being questioned. Bring it on! :)-D