Thoughts on shush/pat please?

[KateW]

My 12 week old little girl is rubbish at sleeping in her crib during the day (night times are no probs) so I've been attempting the Baby Whisperer 'shush/pat' method for the past few days. I realise it's going to take a while and I'm prepared for that as I really want to crack this. I was just wondering what people's experiences were of using this method? I guess I'm hoping that someone says, 'Hang in there! It really can work!'

Thanks guys.

[newcomer]

Hang in there!

If you've already cracked night-time sleep, then you are 90% of the way there! Shush/pat does work, although I found that the 'pick up put down' technique worked even better for Baby Newcomer when he was upset. In other words, you pick up your baby if she starts crying and give her a quiet cuddle with as little fuss and stimulation as possible (ie, stay beside the cot, don't turn on the light or take her out of her sleeping bag, etc). When she's calm again, put her back down and repeat the process for as many times as is necessary. This worked really well with Baby Newcomer and we've never had to let him cry or use controlled crying, etc. By the way, when the baby is calm again in your arms, I found it useful to give them a few extra minutes of cuddling before setting them back down so that they feel sleepy and secure but, as the Baby Whisperer recommends, don't let them fall asleep totally in your arms as otherwise they'll wake up in their cot and will be upset as they won't know how they got there.

I really liked 'The Baby Whisperer' and in hindsight I recommend it even more - a perfect mix of baby-friendly soothing techniques and parent-friendly coping strategies. If you like The Baby Whisperer, the other book I'd recommend for the first 6 months is 'Your Baby - Week by Week' (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Baby-Week-ultimate-caring/dp/0091910552). Sheer common sense, baby-friendly, and very practical. It's also broken down into bite-sense chunks for each week, which is an absolute Godsend for those first weeks when you are sleep-deprived and unable to concentrate on anything longer than two sentences.

Oh, and if you ever experience any 'battle of wills' day-time naps, my dad gave me a very good bit of advice, which was: "When all else fails, sometimes you just have to go with the flow". In other words, if Baby KateW really doesn't want to sleep and it's turning into a stressful situation for you, every so often it's not a disaster if you simply let her get up and play with a toy for 20 minutes, and then try again when both of you are calmer. My final amateur thought is that some babies seem to need to 'wind down' more than others. I found with Baby Newcomer that at 12 weeks he was so interested in everything that he hated to nap in case he missed something, so I had to avoid showing him anything too stimulating in the last 30 minutes or so before his nap.

So, in summary, hang in there!

[ClareC]

My daughter has just turned 1, other than when she was really tired she has always fought sleeping in the daytime. Basically she is far too nosy to miss out on anything!! Guaranteed way's for her to sleep are pram and car..... we have just accepted that that is how she is and been grateful that she sleeps well at night (when it really counts).

If she gets overtired and grumpy I will coerce her to sleep (involves cuddling her and letting her fall asleep on me - bad tecnique but does work :-( thankfully she generally seems to manage on cat naps during the day so we rarely have meltdown - does nothing to help me in my quest to be a domestic goddess ;-)

edited to say, shush pat just seems to make her more adamant she is not going to sleep, picking up putting down with a shush pat on the put down works far better with her but it 's a slow process for little gain (she rarely sleeps more than half hour in her cot in the daytime).

[craigy]

I think you should look at yourself and think whether the method suits you and your personality.... Personally I have no patience with the shush, pat, baby whisperer style of settling a baby and am much more of a leave them to it but again I think that the success of that depends upon the baby...

My 1st resisted ddaytime sleep and I pushed him to sleep in his pram or the car or let him sleep on me until about 5 months when a few days of leaving him to cry it out resulted in good napping from then onwards....

My 2nd when she gets tired will just fall asleep no fuss at all (she's now 5 months) and does not respond well to be left to cry it out and will get herself into an awful state...

My top sleep tip is a book called 'healthy sleep habits, happy child' by dr Marc weissblauth..

[littleEDfamily]

I never needed to shush/ pat my first as she took a dummy and was out like a light the minute it touched her lips.

Shush/ pat has been great for number 2 who rejects a dummy. Not sure it worked as early as 12 weeks, but it definitely has worked from around 6 months. I've noticed I have to really mean the shushing and patting, as in I have to be relaxed and soothing not thinking 'how long do I have to do this for' (for this reason it does not work for my hubby). I (apparently a bad habit) feed her for a little in a darkened room to relax her, and the shush pat thing combined with pick up/ put down happens if she doesn't settle straight away. I don't try it when she is 'unprepared'.

I tend to leave her to it if I shush/ pat a few times and she seems to get angrier - then I just lay her down and run away!!

[Smiler]

Been there done that to the extent that my first daughter's nickname is "Shoosh"! Didn 't work for us, even the sight if this thread made me feel sick! Littlest daughter is either fed to sleep or settles herself, she is a different baby.

[Moos]

I've used shush/pat but found quite quickly that both the baby and I preferred a gentler sound and feel - instead of a loud shush I use a very soft one, combined with a hand resting on his chest, rather than a vigorous pat. He's got used to it as a means of settling him, and calms down quite quickly when I start. If he doesn't calm down, it usually means that something else is wrong, e.g. he's still hungry and I've misread how long to feed him for.

[sandy_rose]

Sorry if this sounds obvious but have you got blackout blinds/curtains? It made a huge difference to our Nosy Parker who is much easier to settle down for daytime naps if she can't see anything :)

shushing and patting seemed to infuriate her more but swaddling her helped her settle as she would work herself into a frenzy waving her arms about if left to cry.

[buggie]

I *heart* shush/pat!

We've been doing it with the bugglet since she was about 5wks old (she's now 18wks). Really like it, haven't got on with put up/put down as found she often cries most just before she zonks out and so picking her up would wake her up more!

I have a chair by her cot to sit on as I do the shushing and patting (with her laid in the cot) and typically now can settle her within 5 mins - could never work out how to do it with her on her back though so settle her on her side and finds she normally rolls onto her back in her sleep.

Think I'm really lucky in that Mr Buggie has been happy to shush/pat too and so we've been consistent in how we settle her - both can settle her equally well, and (so far touch wood) we've had no problems settling her in moses basket/travel cot when out and about as we can do as we would do at home so easily.

Found the Baby Whisper book so useful (albeit the bite size chunks I had to repeatedly read in the first few wks before it sunk in/made sense!) - recognising the tired cues really helps how quickly bugglet settles even though these seem to get more subtle (think she senses daytime naps = missing out on *something*!)