Just a little venting......... share if you relate

[????]

To all of you mums not in perfect relationships with the most amazing diamond giving men....can I say thanks. Can't wait to show this thread to Mrs Quids and say "See. it's not just me" ;-

[helena handbasket]

berryberry Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> its fine, take the piss all you want - I got love

> and diamonds to keep me warm.

edited to remove my response. This speaks for itself, I think.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I'm sorry Quids, but if you're in the rice cooker present giving group, this won't cut the mustard.

[berryberry]

Helena Handbasket does it never occur to you that I am mocking you?

You don't live in dulwich, you don't even live in the UK but you are hanging around here moaning like a bitch.

[SeanMacGabhann]

berryberry

A reminder this is the family room and not the Lounge - and therefore a certain etiqutte applies

(I've removed your last post)

[womanofdulwich]

Cau you just pull the thread Sean? its like that episode of the Apprentice...........

[SeanMacGabhann]

Seems a bit extreme but I'll keep an eye on it - it's only just been complained about so sorry if I'm late on the scene

Hopefully people will start to behave again - seemed like it was ok for a few pages?

[womanofdulwich]

it is no longer on topic and just nasty and embarassing (IMO). STill,Cristmas is a stressful time for some. ::o

[Jamma]

I was with berryberry all the way, until the diamonds thing.

The topic is about 'venting', presumably of anger and/or frustration and I'm not sure how compatible those two can ever be with 'etiquette'. I found the original post embarrassing but I wouldn't ask anyone to pull it on that basis

[Smiler]

A line from a novel I liked mentioned "the sweetness and sourness" of family life.

Was funny at Xmas seeing the kids / non-kids divide in the family with the latter group shocked and exhausted by the end, ha ha!

[helena handbasket]

I think it's interesting that there's even a debate here. Either you have experienced similar situations or you haven't, it's not personal, and that's the difference between my original "embarrassing" post and the direction some have gone with it. I'm not at all embbarrassed by it; it was a moment, I needed to get it off my chest, and I was pretty sure someone else might understand what I was feeling and sure enough, plenty did.

We are telling silly stories about ourselves, not judging others. We are laughing at ourselves, and life, and I don't think there's anything new about that. There's a reason why "Outnumbered" is popular. I have never met a single couple who at some time or another didn't have a complaint, even if it's just the toilet seat, and I honestly don't see why a few people are taking offence. My husband could read this thread and find the humour because it's just a few bits and pieces of our life.

Anyway, it has gotten ugly and personal for some reason and that was not at all the intention. I don't know why that has to happen. I think if the people posting on here were exposed you would find a lot of professional, modern, independent thinkers who are adapting to a new and very different kind of life, and we're doing it blindfolded, with small children's toys scattered under our bare feet. But we're muddling through and learning and finding joy in the strangest of places and you know what? If a little bit of a "vent" or whatever you want to call it is the worst thing I can come up with to lighten a bit of the load and it makes me a target, fine. A few schoolyard insults are not going to ruin my day. I didn't sleep for an entire year when my son came along. I survived it and lived to tell......... toughens you up, this motherhood thing.

The women on this forum are lovely, and I'll bet your husbands are too.

[randombloke]

This is my first post in the family room. To a nearly 50 year old male some of the topics have been rather alarming to say the least, discussing such subjects as potty training, sore nipples etc.

However, I had to laugh at the some of the posts before it degenerated as so many topics often do. Tragically, I'd probably transgressed as much as some of the OHs.

What's different now to when my son was growing up (he's 21) is that people can use the internet to get information, or to let off a bit of frustration. Back in 1990 the only sources of information were other new parents or your own family. My dad would have been entirely useless changing a nappy, it just wasn't the done thing in his day.

I can remember my wife crying with frustration that she couldn't get him to latch on and me having to console her whilst making his bottle. I used to do the night feeds and getting up at 3 am watching American football as he had his bottle. It created a bond with him that exists to this day. Reading all the posts makes me feel guilty that I indavertantly took her for granted too often and didn't pull my weight, no wonder she divorced me! As a gender we blokes do have it easy, we don't notice things, we are lazy and we do cherry pick what we want to be involved with. When we have a cold it IS the end of the world. But we do get more involved than our forefathers. In the long run though it does work out, eventually the children become more independant and mums, you do get your life back.

Humour is often the best medicine for all the ills described above and my son never once complained when I sent him out chimney sweeping as a 6 year old, he knew he'd get the strap if he did ;-)

[littleEDfamily]

randombloke, I love you. Pity I am actually happily married ;-)

[????]

I normally try and leave it when poeple are so po-faced and humourless. I can't believe that people take this sort of thread soooo seriously. Some people should really, really lighten up. I'm pretty sure it was a lighthearted rant underpinned by some truths that has largely been fun. Is there some history here or are some posters lacking in any humour?

[Saila]

helena handbasket and randombloke - two amazing posts

xxxx

[randombloke]

To LittleEDfamily and Saila: thank you for the lovely comments. LittleEDfamily glad you are so happy, as am I with my new partner. My ex is now happy with her new partner and our son asked us all to go out to dinner with him for his 21st, it was a fun evening and he was happy to see both his parents happy.

As men we don't mean to be selfish and ignorant, we just see things differently, we are programmed to be hunter gatherers.

What is interesting to me as the parent of a new adult is that when he moved out of the marital home it took his mum a long time to get used to the idea of him not needing her help and advice. In fact, if anything he talked to me more than to her. I had to remind him that she had sacrificed a lot to get him to University and that she deserved to be kept informed of what he was up to. She complained that he no longer needed her input, and this from the same person who complained that she had given up her career to look after him as a toddler,(she has since become a highly successful businesswoman, whilst effectively bringing him up on her own from the age of 13). It seems kids have you over two barrels not one.

But I've learned recently whilst studying for a diploma in life-coaching that kids are both our biggest headache and our biggest reward. I have heard so many people say the same things. We all doubt, we all struggle with moral issues, we all laugh and cry in equal measure. I guess that's life. But let me ask you all this, when you are old and grey, would you change anything? And if today you are overwhelmed with crying children, dirty laundry, lazy partners and coughs and snuffles, when you watch your child do something amazing, like my son recognising that his mother needed closure and the way to best way to do that was to host his 21st birthday dinner so that I could see her happy and she could move on, or saying "Dad I think I'll spend this Christmas with Grandma so she's not on her own and it leaves mum and her new man alone to share their first Christmas", then well, does it REALLY matter?

It's called parenthood and guess what? Your parents went through it, you are gong through it and your children will as well, no matter what race, creed, background or colour. My dad never saw his grandson, and when he was little I used to berate myself for saying the same things my dad did, but I can think of no better endorsement of what I was doing as a parent than to feel my fathers guiding hand and to speak his words to my own son. Whilst it's exhausting and frustrating don't forget it's still the best journey you will ever take.

[sillywoman]

and that wonderful post should surely be the last word?