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felt-tip Wrote

-----------------------------------------------------

> I didn't mean what I said.

> Just throwing around some O level psychology.


It's gracious of you to admit this - thank you.


But now, of course, I simply have to ask. What was it that propelled you into making the admission? It wouldn't, by any chance, have been your conscience? :))

In Arms and the Man by George Bernard Shaw the soldier said to the lady I am quite a straight forward sort of chap but a half a dozen lies wouldn't last me through a day.


I consider myself to be honest and straight forward to the point where some one said of me " you've gotta watch this guy he has a brutally honest tongue".


Yes I have, and I try constantly to rein in from sticking my sharp brutal tongue to someone of a sensitive nature.


If I am with the lads I have a wicked sense of humour which sometimes falls flat and is interpreted as cutting but they are capable of dealing with it more so than my lady friends who see the softer gentler flirty playful side of me, I hope.

sometimes what one person considers to be the truth might just be that person's opinion. My truth may be different from your truth. Truth isn't black and white; sometimes it's off-white.


Honesty is usually the best policy but not always.



Agree with GG.


Also, it is generally wise to just think before you open your mouth.

Where you have a responsibility or a duty to be honest, you must be. However, there are many situations where you don't and even where the expectation is that you won't necessarily be completely honest.


Q: "How are you?"


SAMPLE HONEST ANSWER "I'm really down, and not sure about the direction my life is taking. I'm not sure about my relationship, I think I have unresolved feelings of guilt from the death of my dog. I also have a persistent pain in my left knee which never seems to go away completely - I even had a dream that my leg fell off."


APPROPRIATE/EXPECTED ANSWER: "Oh, fine really, mustn't grumble, you know...."


This applies to the vast majority of questions that people ask you about (a) you and (b) them.

DaveR Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Q: "How are you?"

>

> SAMPLE HONEST ANSWER "I'm really down, and not

> sure about the direction my life is taking. I'm

> not sure about my relationship...

>

> APPROPRIATE/EXPECTED ANSWER: "Oh, fine really,

> mustn't grumble, you know...."


I know this happens a great deal, but why feign interest in someone's well being when in truth you couldn't give a toss? Seems a waste of breath to me. Why not instead ask them something that actually interests you? In countries like Holland, Spain, and Portugal - for example - my experience of someone enquiring "how are you" is that they genuinely wish to know how you are.

DaveR you are completely right about that scenario - but the question "How are you?" is often simply an extention of "Good morning." It's the addition to the initial greeting, a way of extending verbal niceties. Unless someone sits you down with a cup of tea and asks genuinely after you, I'd usually just take it that way and not feel dishonest you respond with a happy platitude.

"DaveR you are completely right about that scenario - but the question "How are you?" is often simply an extention of "Good morning." It's the addition to the initial greeting, a way of extending verbal niceties. Unless someone sits you down with a cup of tea and asks genuinely after you, I'd usually just take it that way and not feel dishonest you respond with a happy platitude."


I agree, but I would also say that very often people do not want to hear the unvarnished truth even when it might appear that they do, and most people are aware of this (consciously or otherwise).


Q: Tell me the truth, do you really like my fiancee?


Honest answer: I hate him, we all do, and we suspect that if he's not already cheating on you it's only a matter of time.


Appropriate answer: Not the above


This might be a bit more controversial, but I am firmly of the opinion that there is no benefit or honour in telling the truth in that scenario - sometimes people have to find out the truth for themselves (or not - maybe we're all wrong).


I should add that I have been accused of being quite frank (which I understand perfectly well means rude and/or tactless) but I have learned to be less so. On the upside, people have learned not to come to me for advice/reassurance on sensitive topics, which is a relief.

karter Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> the snow is melting, honest. And how are you

> today?


*rifles through brain for stock answers*


Not bad/Fine, thanks/Just great/My old horse-riding injury is playing up/Toothache's gone/Not suitable for forum answers


*thinks*


this'll do ...


"Not bad", thanks :))

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