How important is it to be able to drive when you have a baby?

[Sally81]

Hello all...

Looking for your much appreciated opinions again.

I've been learning to drive for a while now but it's taken ages because my job keeps me late in the office often and my instructor won't do weekends blah, blah.

I am having my first baby at the end of Jan and I can't decide what to do about the driving thing. Obviously I do need to get my test passed and I think with enough lessons over the next few weeks i'd be ready - but should I bother at this stage? I'm shattered as it is!

How crucial is being able to drive around here, when you have a baby? I do have a test booked for Jan 5th...I'm due on Jan 24th! Good idea?

any thoughts welcome....

[pebbles]

Difficult question - i drive and couldn't live without it (well, before i thought about how i wouldl live without it) but I think mums who don't drive, especially living somewhere as easy as ED they will say absolutely you don't need to.

So.... I thought about it and basically on a week to week basis I think we have everything on our doorstep - shops, classes, drs, hospitals etc so yes, it is easily doable without driving. I think (and please correct me if i'm wrong) the problems may lie when going to stay at people's houses who live far away (travel cots, nappies,clothes etc etc) - do you have a partner? does he drive?

So... to close..... I think driving makes my life a lot easier however I could quite easily live without a car (as long as my husband drove for the weekend trips).

Good luck with your decision and if you take your test, fingers and toes crossed

Sally

[jollybaby]

baby JB was born 8 weeks ago and I've driven 3 times since which is far less than before she arrived. As Pebbles said you can get almost everything you need within walking distance in East Dulwich. (For most other things the internet is your friend). You'll also find that walking is great for getting back into shape, getting the baby to sleep and also keeping your spirits up in the newborn stage. So in answer to your question it wouldn't be a disaster if you don't pass your test by the time baby arrives.

[Knomester]

I've only driven locally twice since Baby Knomester was born 12 weeks ago. I could have managed both journeys by walking / using public transport and to be honest I prefer to walk no hate putting him in the car seat with his back all curled up!

We did however drive to visit relatives and spend a week away and we couldn't have done that any other way. We will also be driving up North for Christmas - I'm not sure we'd manage all of his paraphernalia and Chrismas presents on the train :-)

As someone else said, if your other half drives you should be fine.

[crystal7]

I don't drive and whilst on maternity leave didn't find it a problem at all. As others have said everything's on your doorstep in ED. Also my partner drives and we have a car so getting out of London isn't a problem. I've even been to Leciester to see my family a few times on the train (they have lots of baby stuff so I don't need to bring much and it was quite painless). But since returning to work I find myself wishing I could drive as I choose to put E in childcare close to my workplace and now have to take her with me on the bus 3 mornings and evenings a week. This used to be fine but now she's 21 months and needs constant entertainment! It's also a journey that would take half the time by car. But I suppose I could have found childcare nearer home...I also wonder whether driving becomes more necessary as your family grows- dealing with baby and toddler on the bus doesn't sound fun.

[Ruth_Baldock]

I don't drive- last Friday I failed my 8th test. I've been learning since I was 17 and I'm 25 now. We absolutley do fine with public transports and my husband drives so he does the weekend jaunts to bluewater.

In short, it's more than doable. I really wanted to get my license bfore baby baldock 2 arrives but that's clearly not going to happen. I'm giving up now, might get a sticker for my baby's pram 'my other car is the number 12 bus'

[Pickle]

I've been driving since I was 17, as in NZ it's common to get your license as quickly as you can (the city I'm from had pretty much non-existent public transport). I have been driving in London since the moment I arrived as quickly decided when living in Clapham that I'd rather have a Vespa than crowd my way onto the Northern Line at rush hour.

When I had my first baby I didn't drive very often to begin with, as we did find everything was on our doorstep. Now, with 2, I find we drive a lot - they are too big for a pram, yet not quite able to walk as far as we need to at times (to Sainsbury's from our house is a bit of a trek, for example). Also I find a lot of the things we do for entertainment are much easier to get to by car (Crystal Palace Sports Centre, Beckenham Spa etc - all doable by bus I guess but much easier by car).

I think you cope no matter what, it's just what you're used to!

P x

[sophiechristophy]

if i were you, and i had already spent a lot of cash on lessons and are close to being ready to take your test, i would push on and get the license. it is definitley possible to get by without a car, but it would be such a waste of money to not go through with it now - who knows when you will get the opportunity in the future to spend the time and money on lessons/taking a test?

get it under your belt, and then at least you have the option in the future to car it or not. x

[snowboarder]

Agree with sophie above - if you don't do it now it will be SO hard once your baby is here! I didn't drive much to start with and it's not that its essential - but it makes getting to some groups etc so much easier (esp now that toddler will spend 10 mins max in the buggy!), and makes places like Beckenham Spa/Crystal Palace/Mothercare(!) easily accessible.

[nunheadmum]

Definitely agree that as you get more than 1 and they get older, being able to drive is helpful. I swore I wouldn't fall into the driving trap and with no1 I did walk miles at the start. But once no2 came along and no1 was a whining toddler, the car suddenly had real attraction! If nothing else, it gives you more options.

As others have said, it sounds like you are pretty close - probably better pushing on and doing it.

[redjam]

A friend of mine was in your boat and was heavily pregnant when she was learning to drive - she took her test at about 35 weeks and could barely get her bump behind the steering wheel. But she passed first time (at the age of 34) and now, with two kids, she's always saying how pleased she was that she stuck with it. I agree with the posts above - you can manage with public transport quite easily with one child, but if you're planning to expand your family in the future best to keep on with the lessons now as you'll be grateful you can drive further down the line...

[Keef]

We live in a non driving household. Since having our daughter, my wife has sometimes said she wishes she did, as things like shopping, and going swimming (we're a bus ride or substantial walk away from any pools) would be so so much easier. However, it's not really stopped us doing anything, and we dont fancy the cost of running a car at all!

[marscapone]

Agree with others that you should get your licence while you have the momentum, if you feel up to it

But not that neccessary in ED - even with 2 children I don't really miss having a car. One in buggy, one on scooter is fine. We don't go to Bluewater/Beckenham very often, if at all. But do catch local buses and trains to town, Crystal Palace and to see friends in Hackney which are all just as easy on public transport. While I sometimes think it would be nice to get in car and go somewhere in the weekend, I probably don't wish this more often since having children than I did before

[The Nappy Lady]

It depends a bit of what the future holds, but I find the car is essential for me at times because of how full my life is - e.g. sometimes on a work day my schedule is;

Do school run with the girls on foot

Walk back home, drive toddler to childminders, with dog in boot ready.

Straight out of childminders (by the park) and walk the dog for half an hour

Back into the car, drive home to drop off the dog,

Straight back out the door to drive to work in order to be there for 10am

Finish work at 3.15pm

Drive home for 3.30pm school run on foot

Bring DD1 back from school, then possibly take her to Beavers/Gymnastics or whatever in the car - fairly

essential in the winter when it is dark/raining etc.

During or after said club, or from home drive with DD1 to pick up toddler from childminder

Drive back home just in time for dinner, or playtime etc. pre bath and bed.

Phew...now when the dog isn't in the equation I will often cycle with toddler in the bike seat to drop her off and go straight on to work, and when I'm not working so no time pressure I will walk the dog to the park etc. but this isn't always possible. I genuinely aim to only use the car when I feel I have to, and even so it is a lot more often that I would like.

I guess what I am trying to say is that certainly as life gets busier and more hectic, and more children, plus maybe work comes back into the equation for you, you may well be very glad of having at least the option of a car. As others have said, I would try to pass your test now if you can, as in the future it will only be harder with less free time for the lessons, and probably less cash to invest in it too.

Good luck!

[Fuschia]

Car can be useful in winter to settle moaning baby.. go for a drive, take a book and a flask!

[canadianlisa]

I don't drive (tried learning when I was very young, was terrible, gave up) and I have not found it a problem at all. I have now been home a year with my daughter and can count on one hand the number of times it has bothered me. My partner drives but we don't have car. We do sometime borrow his parent's car or hire a street car for trips out of London or to Ikea but that is about all. You can walk, take the bus / train everywhere and I think especially when babies are small is is much easier than getting them in and out of a carseat, into buggy etc. I think it all changes when you have 2 or are pressured about dropping at nursery and school run.

I actually don't mind walking to the shops and picking up things each day as it gets you out of the house and is an 'activity' on the days that you don't fancy a baby group. Like others have said walking saved my sanity in the early days. So I'd give the test a go, but if it doesn't work out it is hardly the end of the world.

[ClareC]

Definitely stick with it and do your best to pass the test before baby is born! Def not necessary to drive living here but much easier when h

Going out of London. To try to pass test with a small baby will be hard so if you can do it Lee baby you won't regret it!

[Smiler]

I have just moved from ED to Surrey and am taking refresher lessons as haven't driven for many years. Driving is essential here as public transport is poor and not much for kids within walking distance. Now we have two kids it's also nice to use the car sometimes as getting anywhere without it becomes much slower with a toddler on foot!

I didn't find not driving in ED a problem, although I would've liked to have gone to more places, e.g. Beckenham, Crystal Palace etc. that were too much of a hassle by bus. Agree with others that since you have got this far it'd be worth at least giving the test a go. Everything becomes harder when kids come along.

You never know, they might be nice to a heavily pregnant woman and pass you!

[uptime]

I took refresher lessons when I found out I was pregnant after a hiatus of 15+ years (instructor's name is Michael, he is recommended on the forum and works Saturday mornings). Now driving has become essential for me even though the baby hasn't been born yet. Just things like getting to sainsburys, NCT classes etc. Obviously do whatever feels right for you, but for me I knew that if I didn't get into driving now, I never would.

[prdarling]

Bottom line is - if you don't drive you get into walking and buses and you don't miss it. If you do have a car, you will probably use it a lot and won't remember how you managed without it.

Public transport is fine with one baby but if you have a baby and a toddler in a double pushchair you ar pretty much confined to ED...not necessarily a bad thing, but it will probably get you down eventually.

If you have a newborn in the spring/summer it's lovely ambling around LL and the parks till all hours. If you have a newborn from Nov-Feb you more than likely want to get where you are going and get home again with the least possible messing around.

I would definitely take your test and get it under your belt

[simonethebeaver]

I'm expecting my first baby but have two stepchildren who are 8 and 11. We would really struggle without the car for them. As Molly outlines, life is quite hectic with them! Coralling more than one child on public transport can be fine, but on crowded buses/trains it's not always easy, and public transport often takes a lot, lot longer than a car journey - no fun when you have a tired child on your hands. I can see that managing with a baby wouldn't be too bad, and it does depend on how close everything is, but we'd spend most of our weekends on public transport rather than the odd car journey.

On the flipside, we also visit family in the NE fairly often. It's a constant decision for us at the moment - Friends and Family railcard make the journey on the train usually much cheaper than by car, with the 63 straight to King's Cross, although at certain times it's still better to use the car - but once we have the baby, I think the train will become much more of a nightmare given the amount of stuff we'll need in addition to everything we already take!

[The Nappy Lady]

Simonthebeaver we've just got our first f&f railcard & started to do more visits by train now our two are 2 & 6, agree I'd have found it tricky until now.

[Coach Beth]

Neither me nor my partner drives - we have one son aged five. Public transport is abosolutly fine and when faced with an awkward journey, or if we are taking a long train journey - to Newcastle where we have friends/family we often make a decision to book a cab to King's Cross. We figure that even if we were to take a cab once a month costing ?35 each time it still wouldn't be as much as it would cost to keep a car - i.e. taxes, insurance, petrol.