Grandparents helping with grandchildren.

[Smiler]

Our issue is a bit different. My parents (not local) are very hands-on and giving, they would do anything for us / the kids, including nappies, early mornings, cooking, babysitting etc. etc. But they can be interfering.

Examples: putting extra blankets on the baby / twenty-three layers on both kids before they leave the house, literally pushing me / Mr Smiler out of the way to pick the baby up when she cries, criticising Mr Smiler to me, taking the baby out "for a moment" and disappearing for hours showing her off to the neighbours then not understanding why we were peeved, commenting on how we discipline our toddler and "suggesting" that we need to do X, Y, Z, formula-pushing and saying "maybe you don't have enough [breast] milk", "it's cruel not to give her a bottle if she's not satisfied". Suggesting sleeping arrangements (anti-co-sleeping), trying to introduce new rules such as wearing slippers in the house / table manners.

Argh! God, when I write this down I see why Mr Smiler is so stressed when they're around! He is now valiantly polite and focuses on the positive (how lovely they are as grandparents, the good food, lie-ins), I tend to let it all wash over me and murmer non-committally, then do what we want rather than what they suggest.

Most of the time we get by, but when things go wrong or are hectic, e.g. illness, following births, Mr Smiler away for work, and we really need help it's really difficult to set boundaries without hurting their feelings / seeming ungrateful (which am not, despite the rant).

[littleEDfamily]

Smiler's post reminded me about how recently one of my relatives got put on a plane back home early after visiting her son and wife (who live in Macau), and taking the 8 week old baby HIKING in a Baby Bjorn up some mountain/ big hill for hours without asking, saying the fresh air would do him good.

She would truly be the MIL from hell. Hands on, but a ferkin nightmare!!!