another potty training question

[charlottep]

i've just started potty training my 2.5 year old little boy. Day 4 and we are having no wee accidents at all and he's going up to 2 hours between emptying his bladder - i'm really pleased with his progress on the wee front. Poos are a different matter and he hasn't managed one poo in the potty. He's either not pooing or doing them in his pants when he can't hold on to it anymore (sorry for too much info). He's always been very private when it comes to poos (pooing generally behind the curtains or under the dining table). I have tried to leave a potty in both these places in case he feels able to take himself off for a private poo, but no joy unfortunately.

Any advice on how i can encourage him to poo in the potty - i've tried stickers? I know he gets the concept, but he's just not complying and i fear an issue will start developing if I don't play things the right way.

Thanks!

[The Nappy Lady]

Charlotte,

Search for the 'poo phobia' thread on here - it includes some good book suggestions including Mr Poo goes to Poo Land which really helped my friends daughter who was withholding.

It is very common, try not to make an issue of it, let him wear a nappy for now to poo if it helps & read the book(s) to him. You will get there.

Good luck. Xx

[MGolden]

Well done Charlotte for even trying potty training. With both of my boys (now 8 and 11) I didn't even try and waited until they said they didn't want to wear nappies anymore (2yrs 8 months and 2 years 10 months respectively). My younger son was absolutely adamant he 'couldn't' poo in the toilet and, like you, I really didn't want it to become some sort of issue. We decided he could continue to wear a nappy to poo but had to go into the bathroom to do his poo, ie no playing with toys or reading books etc. Mind you neither of them ever had a potty either as I figured it would be easier to just go straight to using the toilets (and yes, that meant peeing standing up!). It took the best part of six months but we had gone away for the weekend, he needed to do a poo and I said I had forgotten to pack any nappies (I hadn't in case it all backfired). He was absolutely fine about it and we never looked back. So, don't make a fuss, go along with him and it really will work out. How many five year olds do you know who started primary schools without being able to go to the toilet?

good luck.

[pebbles]

Chocolate buttons. I tried stickers initially but he wasn't really having any of it but once i introduced chocolate buttons i was on the home straight. However I had to change my "1 for every poo" when he sat on the loo did a small one, got up and celebrated and ate his chocolate only to sit down again and do another small one!!!! No joke, 6 tiny poos later he had finished and I had to change the rules.

Good luck, i know it seems so painful but it will come and it's just amazing that he's got to grips with the weeing so quickly.

[charlottep]

thanks for the advice, i've tried putting his nappy back on during his regular poo time (this was most unpopular, he is hooked on his big boy pants) and i have tried chocolate buttons. still no joy and now he's walking around holding his bum and saying it hurts! oh dear, poo land book next.

[The Nappy Lady]

Poo Land book should sort it I hope - my friend had her daughter in floods of tears, needing to go but refusing to for up to 1.5 days at a time, every few days for about a month, but once she read the book/s with her, she is now fine, and completely potty trained in 2 days. She is 26 months, but was in cloth nappies until potty training, which usually helps them to potty trainer sooner/younger.

Really hope things improve soon, and if he isn't keen on having nappies back on then hopefully he'll realise the alternative is to let the poo out on the toilet/potty.

Good luck.

[twinmummy]

Milky way magic stars! Mine don't have sweets at all (they're only 2 1/4, so no need) but are highly motivated now that a milky way magic star is on offer following production!! In fact, my little boy has cleverly found a way of splitting wees into 3 parts to try to maximise his return "mummy more wee wee, mummy star!". My daughter is also a bit phobic about the poo side of things and we've just bought Princess Polly's Potty and Pirate Pete's Potty noisy books from Smiths which are helping.

Good luck

[Pickle]

We used Magic Stars for our son, they worked a treat - he has a really sweet tooth and will do just about anything for chocolate! Not so good for my daughter who doesn't like sweet things (not sure she can be my daughter?!), and we struggled a bit with the poo side of potty training.

She declared she didn't want nappies anymore over summer, which was fine (she was just over 2), and from day 1 the wee side of it was a piece of cake, hardly any accidents. It took her about 3/4 weeks to master making it to the toilet for a poo, it was almost as if she couldn't quite judge when it was going to happen. But one day it suddenly seemed to make sense to her and we haven't looked back.

I was in a bit of a quandry, as there was no way she would let me put a nappy back on (I big girl now Mummy), so thankfully she worked it out as I was getting a bit bored of cleaning up!

Good luck.

[Bishberro]

Really horrid question, but does anyone know the best way to treat "accidents" on the carpet? We have a wool carpet downstairs so worrying about what to do if it gets weed on, even worse poo. Not sure whether you can disinfect carpets without ruining them.

[The Nappy Lady]

I suspect something like 1001 Carpet Cleaner is your best bet Bishberro - and then get a professional carpet cleaner in to do the entire carpet once you've cracked it. We have wooden floors downstairs (thankfully), but have had to tackle accidents upstairs in this way.

Molly

[edanna]

Charlotte, it's very early days. The poo thing is just coming together for my little boy after about 3.5 months. Stay positive and be prepared for a long wait. With any luck it won't take so long for your son

[damzel]

Regarding the clean-up, when I had my first crack at potty training in the summer, my friend who just had a new puppy, suggested that I use the stuff they use for cleaning up pet mess. It worked out great - Out Pet Stain and Odour Remover "effective on urine, vomit, blood, feces and more". I bought it online but now I get a bit inundated with spam from Pet Supermarket and I don't have a pet!

[prdarling]

It will end eventually. My 1st son did wees standing up at the loo at 2.7 and barely had one mistake after day one of trying. However he had huge issues with poos. Always requested a nappy and if i said no and tried to make him use the loo, he would withhold for as long as possible and get stomach ache, grey skin etc - just awful. I gave up in the end and let him get on with it and EVENTUALLY one day he just said Mummy I'm just going for a poo on the loo. That was that. Sadly he was 3.9 at the time:(

What can I say??! I hope we are an extreme case but I really promise that eventually he will get it :)

[charlottep]

thanks edanna and prdarling. quite obviously my expectations are too high and it's good to know that this is normal. i shall pace myself and go slowly. it's a relief to know that we're not failing and that he's actually doing very well.

C

[Sanne Panne]

In the US, pet stain removers are popular for potty training accidents on the carpet... I don't have any pets so not sure if those products exist here?

[damzel]

Sanne Panne - see my earlier post regarding the stuff for pets that I used. It does the trick for sure. I bought it online.