Breastfeeding & insomnia

[Gussy]

Hello, ladies, I wonder if you can help? I'm experiencing some quite bad insomnia recently and its crippling. I've been breastfeeding my son for 7 months now and obviously I'm tired and not slept a full night since he's been born, but more than that once I've been woken up for a feed (around 3am) I can't get back to sleep. It can take me 3 hours and then its time to get up with baby and toddler for a full day.

I can get off to sleep ok and go to bed early every night (9pm ish), I don't feel particularly stressed and don't lie there thinking of stuff for hours. I just can't sleep again.

I've Googled insomnia and breastfeeding and there's quite a lot of other similar stories out there, but not many answers. Strangely it seems to occur when you start weaning. Well that would kid of fit as the last month has been really bad.

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to discuss this but I doubt there is anything safe to take whilst feeding. I really don't want to stop though and I'm the only source of comfort when baby is ill, teething, and I've been on one hell of a journey in order to get this far. Just wondered if anyone else has experienced this, how long did it last, or if there are any alternative remedies available? Thanks

[Fuschia]

Onthing I have found incredibly helpful if suffering pg related insomnia is a hypnotherapy relaxation track on my mp3 player.. might be worth a try?

[charlottep]

Gussy, i've just came out of exactly the same cycle. Going off to sleep well, but then waking automatically at around 4am (the time my baby used to feed in the early months) and only being able to drift back off to sleep at around 6:30am, half an hour before my toddler gets up. It was driving me crazy. Towards the end Camomile tea seemed to help quite a bit - even though i wasn't feeling particularly stressed at the time, i think there must have been an underlying tension. However, the thing that's cured it permanently has been a recent trip to the States. I was so jet-lagged the whole time i was there it was awful, but since i returned home, i've seemed to have broken the 4am wake up cycle. I know that it's not particularly convenient or cost effective way of sorting out insomnia, but had a known that it would be so successful i would have done it a couple of months ago, as i was so desperate to sleep properly - fatigue and babies and toddlers is really tough. But in the meantime, i do recommend the camomile, just to see if it relaxes you some.

[Smiler]

I had this at a similar stage, and packed in breastfeeding, but it didn't help the insomnia (or the baby's waking)!

I used to stay in bed with eyes closed, as at least that way the body is getting rest, and to try NOT to think about tasks to be done / worries / issues etc. Visualisation (nice gardens, beaches etc.) helped a bit, but the problem continued for me until my daughter started sleeping through (at 2)!

It will pass, hopefully soon!

[Moos]

I had insomnia for a few months when my son was coming up to a year old - by then he was sleeping through the night but of course still a very early riser. I'd never had trouble sleeping before, and it was infuriating as well as exhausting.

Went to my GP who gave me really good advice. GPs are reluctant to prescribe sleeping pills in any case (I'm sure you are right that they would be far more reluctant if you're breastfeeding) as they are very addictive. I can't remember all the advice but it included to always go to bed at the same time each day with a similar routine, never to nap (that was hard!), and to have a very routine bedtime with no TV or reading (also hard).

Best of luck

[Vanessa3]

I'm an incredibly light sleeper, and understand how frustrating it can be when you're lying in bed wide awake. I found that our little man was ready to drop that 3am feed by 7 months as he was happily on solids. The waking at 2-3am was a comfort thing - once he worked out he wasn't getting the boob he started sleeping through, and so did I. Is baby Gussy on solids yet?

[Gussy]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I saw the doctor and it made me cry on the way home as there were no real answers. She wasn't that great and was hurrying me along. She just said its exhaustion and I need a break and more sleep - yep I know and I can't take a break, no help, family, cash for childcare. So here I am. She told me to let my husband feed baby at 3am. The trouble is I would still get woken by him crying and also when he stirs every few hours on the monitor (with it on the quietest setting). I need a night away from the house!!

Thanks Vanessa3, yes he's on solids (not huge meals though), and so I feel a little unsure if he's genuinely still hungry. It's difficult, with my daughter I knew she wasn't hungry because she wasn't interested at all in her breakfast bottle/cereal. Baby Gussy still loves his morning booby/any booby on offer! He did go about 4 nights of no feeding recently and we decided to not feed when he woke up a few nights later but BOY OH BOY did he protest. With both of us going in and trying to settle him I gave up after about 2 hours and fed him. So I need to build up my stamina before attempting to cut the feed again. Doesn't help that he's been ill recently.

So tonight I'm going to have a cammomile tea and up to bed by 8.30pm (what a life!). My poor hubby, I feel like we never spend any time together anymore :( Having kids is the hardest thing on earth!!!

[canadianlisa]

Oh poor you Gussy. I had the same thing for a little while with my daughter around the same time. It seemed like those hormones or whatever they were that made me feel really sleepy after feeding kind of vanished at some point and I was alert and awake in the middle of the night. Part of my problem was I was worrying if there was going to be another wake up and what time morning would be. Once I was able to kind of let go of that it was a bit easier.

Maybe you could try a more planned strategy with your hubby to cut out the middle of the night feedings. With my daughter we just had to find a date to do it and stick to it. I think we did it around 8 months but we were having some other sleep issues as well.

Also I wonder if you could turn the monitor off for a night or stick it on your husband's side of the bed, stick some earplugs in and try to get one good nights sleep. Even one full night makes such a big difference.

My one year old girl is a good eater generally, but will still always take the boob when offered, always. That being said cutting out the middle of night feedings then resulted in her eating more brekkie.

Good luck and hope you have a good night.

[alieh]

I had this exactly, though I never connected it to breastfeeding in particular but maybe I should have? I had it down to prolonged sleep deprivation and that feeling that I was going to be woken up any minute so couldn't relax. To be honest, my son stopped breastfeeding at night at 8 months but still continued to wake on and off for a number of months and my insomnia problems persisted throughout this time even on the nights he slept through. I was still breastfeeding in the day so maybe it was a hormonal thing still though? Just a caution not to put all your hope on cutting out the nighttime breastfeeds just in case that doesn't solve it entirely.

Is there any way you could wrangle one night away from the house? Sometimes just one decent night's sleep can break the pattern. Also earplugs worked well for me. My husband could still hear any peeps (but he falls back to sleep easily) but I was able to sleep through some of it, rather than bolting out of sleep at every sound. That doesn't really help if it is just getting back to sleep post-3 am feed though....

The other thought, which may seem stupid, is whether going to bed later for a few nights might help. If you're asleep by 9 pm, at 3 am you've already had 6 hours sleep so may find it harder to fall back to sleep again? Maybe if you went to bed at 11 for a few nights it would help get you past that 3 am hump a bit easier and break the pattern. A bit of a high risk strategy because if it doesn't work you'll be running on even less sleep but you never know!

[Vanessa3]

We had a similar system to Canadianlisa - Hubby & I picked a few weeks where work was quiet for him, and decided that was the time to get baby C out of the night time feed routine as he was eating solids really well & we knew he didn't need it. I needed help to settle the little man because he could smell the milk on me. It only took a few weeks & it also broke to co-sleeping habit we had from birth. Within two weeks, he was sleeping through, in his own cot & attacking his brekkie with huge amounts of enthusiasm. Perhaps you & your hubby could find a similar time frame that works for the both of you to do this together. Good luck with it.

[canadianlisa]

I was actually thinking the same thing as Alieh last night. My own mother is a terrible sleeper and is often up for hours in the night. She was given that advice by her doctor- go to sleep at a reasonable time - I think 10:30 or later, same time each day and get up at a reasonable time each day and try not to fall asleep on the couch at 9 p.m.

If you do decide to keep feeding in the middle of the night, I also found it helpful to keep myself warm while doing it. So I had a 'slanket' in my daughters room and wrapped myself in that and kept my earplugs in and kept it dark while feeding. It sounds and was a bit weird but it did help to keep me feeling like it was still nighttime and I was better able to re-settle. It is very hard though if you are, like me, a light sleeper.

[snowboarder]

Not wanted to post as may give you no hope....but I do believe children permanently ruin your sleep! Little snowboarder woke 3+ times a night until 11m, is now 18m and sleeps through till 5.30ish, but I have not slept a full nights sleep since he was born. I do the same - collapse as soon as I go to bed, then can wake anytime from 2ish to 4ish, and it takes ages to get back to sleep. And now pregnant, so wake for the loo too! I think I posted on here asking whether I would ever sleep again - the answer seems to be yes but it takes AGES. Not helpful I suppose, but it bothers me less now - I've stopped getting stressed about it and just catch up on boring emails on my iphone or something. Going to bed later seems to help, but not always - sometimes I prefer waking around 2/3 as it least there is some hope I will go back to sleep before the toddler wakes - 4/5 no hope at all so that's it for the day.

Someone suggested piriton to me which I didnt try but think you can take while breastfeeding. And rescue remedy. And chamomila.

[Gussy]

Ok so last night I was in bed by 9pm and think I was asleep within 30mins or so. Hubby came to bed around 11.30pm and then baby Gussy started crying. I thought, no, I'm not feeding him at 11.30pm (not done a feed before 3am for about a month), so I sent hubby in to settle. This made him worse. He went in another 3 times...baby G finally stopped crying after an hour. I think I drifted back off around 1am, then baby stirred and woke me around 1.30am....then I turned the monitor off!!! Sounds awful but I've had it. I went back to sleep ok but then woke myself up at 3.30am and looked at monitor - no lights flashing, phew. I think baby had tired himself out from crying earlier to bother waking again....Then I think I went back to sleep ok until around 6am, so that was a good night for me! Maybe around 5-6hrs in broken bits? Possibly the not getting out of bed helped as I didn't lie there for hours trying to get back to sleep.

So, I think this marks the end of night feeds, we'll try the same again tonight. I can't go on much longer like I am, so we are going to stick to this strategy. My boobs were killing me this morning and I drowned poor baby, as such he wasn't hungry for his breakfast :-S

As an aside, do any of you ever think that you can hear your baby crying when they aren't? I think I'm going mad sometimes lying there thinking god no he's started again, but he hasn't? Or is that all part of the sleep deprivation? :(

[snowboarder]

I hear crying babies all the time. It's why I keep the monitor on but on silent and hidden - so I can check the lights and make sure I'm not losing the plot.

[Ruth_Baldock]

I am always convinced I hear Baby B crying, I do the same as snowboarder with the monitor. I've even woken Mr Baldock up at 4am "Baby is crying, see to him" only to be told "You're quite mad, woman, go back to sleep!"

[canadianlisa]

Me too, same as above. Somtimes I wish that monitors were never bloody invented. I keep saying, 'when she is whatever next age' that is the end of the monitor but then I feel too guilty and keep it on. I am looking at it now, after the 3rd time in her room already tonight... uuughhh.

[Moos]

I used to be the same, and was convinced a more normal sleeping pattern was gone forever... But it gradually came back, I think in Moosling's 3rd year.

Sigh.

[anna_r]

Resurrecting an old thread, not really sure what for other than sympathy :( currently suffering with severe insomnia. Last night lay in bed from 9pm and didn't get to sleep until past midnight, then daughter was up for first feed at 1am, then same again until second wake at 5am. I'm recovering from a nasty cold and still have a sore throat so that's partly it, but we've also just started weaning and we've also had several bad nights recently with daughter awake for several hours between 2 and 5. I think it's partly the culmination of 6 months nightwakings with only 2 sleep throughs ever. I think this is one of the hardest times in the marathon that is reaching the sleeping through stage. I've had the opportunity to nap during the day as we've had our inlaws staying and I haven't been able to nap either. I'm starting to get really down. Everyone is currently still sleeping (both daughters, inlaws, husband) and I've been awake since 6am.

[Saffron]

Try the acupuncturist on Barry Road, Giles Davies, very experienced and sympathetic to post natal problems like insomnia etc.

Little Saff is only just now sleeping through after A YEAR! Yes, it is very stressful. Hang in there.

[reren]

Dont know if you've tried this but i've always found milk and bread or cereal incredibly good for falling asleep- combination of carb and milk somehow really knocks me out when having trouble sleeping

[tor]

Hi Anna - I have experienced hideous post-pregnancy insomnia with both my babies. It's truely crippling and affected every part of my life for the best part of a year each time. I think it was caused by my inability to switch off from being a mum for the night. I used to lie awake for hours waiting for them to wake up. The thing is that they both slept through from 10pm until 7am from around three months....oh, the irony :X

Anyway, to end on a positive note around the time of their first birthday I started sleeping through the night again. I didn't really change anything although I think I did have some hypnotherapy and listened to a few relaxation CD's. I believe it was just time for my brain to switch off again. I was no longer on high alert listening out for them.

I'm still not the best sleeper but I certainly don't have nights on end of rubbish sleep feeling more tired when I got up then when I went to bed. Hang on in there, it will pass...I promise.

[Smiler]

Poor you anna. Am at 5 1/2 months with my second daughter and the insomnia is back, though not as badly as the first time round (yet). But it will pass and we will all sleep again, just be gentle with yourself til then.

[anna_r]

Thankyou for the advice and sympathy everyone. Yesterday I made sure I got plenty of time walking outside and did manage to fall asleep around 9.30 - only to be woken at 10 by baby. Infuriating! Then after second feed at 1:30am managed to fall asleep ok...only to be woken immediately by 2 year old (screaming - in her sleep - of all things, 'DADDY! BEEBIES!' repeatedly - which was ignored!! maybe shes watching a little too much tv if she's dreaming about it???!) However, did fall back to sleep ok and got a few hours between 2:30 and 6am. Definitely think the exercise outside helps. And hooray cold is gone so feeling better anyway. As ever, wishing everyone (including me) a good night x

[Polly D]

I always found a mug of horlicks, a biscuit and reading a chapter of a good book helped. Rock 'n roll it ain't but who cares.

[acumenman]

When we had babies I put the cot next to her side of the bed and raised it up on books so that the cot mattress was the same level as the mattress on our bed.

This way she could scoop up the baby and feed it with minimal movement and inconvenience, and then shove baby back to her cot afterwards and not emerge from under the duvet.

This prevented mum from traipsing around getting freezing cold hands and feet which would ultimately land in the middle of my back.

Has any man out there been to bed with a woman with warm hands and/or feet, because I never have?