How did you prepare your child/toddler for baby number 2 (or 3)?

[sillywoman]

Just wondered if anyone had any top tips? Am specifically interested in 1st children around the age of about 2.

[candj]

I think there's has been a thread about this as I remember replying to one.

My first was 2 1/2 when no.2 arrived so not a lot of preparing as she didn't really get it until baby arrived. Had a lot of books (za za's baby brother, etc) and also went out with her and bought a gift for the new baby which we picked out together and baby also came bearing a gift for her. It all worked out and they get along very well especially now as both are older.

Now, I'm just preparing my youngest who will be 3 1/2 when our no.3 arrives and trying to avoid middle child syndrome, etc, as she is a bit uncertain about it all so trying to talk about the baby and give her a lot of attention at the same time. However bump is a boy so think that jealousy won't be a big problem as both children are quite excited to have a little brother. Hope that helps.

[fordybee]

I have a 2 yr old and am due with no 2 in 3 months, so am trying to prepare my first. He seems to get that inside mummy's tummy is a baby and will kiss and hug it (ahh, so cute!) but am not sure that means he actually understands what is going to happen. Have also got the books (zaza etc). Also read somewhere recently (think it was an NCT mag) someone said get a photo of you with the bump, then cut a flap for the bump and put a photo of your toddler inside, then explain to him/her that he/she was in mummy's tummy and that a new baby is in there now. Have not done this though it sounds like quite a sweet idea.

[Pam50]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Theres-Going-Baby-John-Burningham/dp/0763649074/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1287176369&sr=1-5

Looks good!

[fordybee]

I have bought that book! It is lovely, although I would say perhaps better for older children (at a guess, 3+) but it has some lovely pictures so I don't think it's been a waste for us.

[sillywoman]

Have also heard 'there's a house inside my mummy' is a good one. Thanks guys, some useful tips. candj - I did a search as I too had a feeling this had already been covered, but I couldn't find anything. Fuschia - are you out there with your superhuman research powers?

So, reading books to them, pressie from new baby (does this actually work? Can't harm I suppose), photo of you with toddler in tummy (interesting ...) any other clever &/or ingenious ways of preparing number 1 for number 2?

[edanna]

Yes I think the present from the baby does work and ideally would be something that would occupy the toddler in the early days. It's also good to talk about what small babies do - ie they don't talk like big boys and girls, only have milk, cry to say they're hungry, tired, need a burp etc not necessarily because they're sad but because they have no other way to tell us. Lots of emphasis on what a very special and important job it is to be a big brother/sister. The mumsnet toddler book is quite good on this topic.

[gwod]

I think it's worth getting no.1 a dolly before no.2 arrives - for a bit of role play and to stimulate a few baby centred conversations...sometimes they're not interested and sometimes it works a treat.

[The F-Gs]

Lots of reading books about new baby, watching a Dora DVD "Big Sister", lots of talking about what was going to happen and how she was going to be "Mummy and Dadd's helper", No 2 buying her a baby of her own which he gave at the hospital - and lots more chat about the pending arrival. The important bit also came after the arrival - letting lots of interaction happen between them, lots of touching and playing, passing nappies and getting her to feed, change and put to sleep her baby at the same time as No 2 was getting all these! Making sure that No 2's needs were met, if not immediately, then as soon as the activity with No 1 ended. All these worked a treat for us, and No 1 was as happy as a larry when No 2 showed, and there has not been much trouble since (now in month 10!)

[snowboarder]

Thanks for starting SW - I have no tips but need them. Wasn't quite the same topic but this thread also helpful. Have started to read 'there's a house inside my mummy' to my 18m old but he remains clueless....

[crystal7]

snowboarder Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Thanks for starting SW - I have no tips but need

> them. Wasn't quite the same topic but this thread

> also helpful. Have started to read 'there's a

> house inside my mummy' to my 18m old but he

> remains clueless....

Get him a doll! Seemed to love E's...

[snowboarder]

Tsk he has a doll which he obviously ignores. Mind you it's a clothed rag doll - E's dolly was more naked baby realistic wasn't it?!?

[Mellors]

I think I've managed to explain to my 3 year old boy about the pending arrival of baby No 3, but have a question - how on earth do you get him to accept that a) no, it might not be a brother and there's nothing I can do about it (he already has a little sister, much to his annoyance) and b) if it is a new sister I can't really swap it for a cat (although if anyone our there fancies the swap, then please PM me!).

I wasmn't going to find out the sex, but think I might have to just so I can confront the potential sister horror at this stage rather than leaving it until the baby is born?!

[new mother]

My sister was in same position. My 2 year old niece would only refer to the baby as "she" and would shake her head if anyone suggested the baby could equally well be a boy. My sister told my niece in great details how the baby would be born - elective section, all the stages - to the extent that my niece was a good source of info when my first ch was born. When the inevitable boy was born, my niece accepted it all with a reasonably good grace, pointing out that "she is a boy but it is just luck what you get".

[Lou]

I am due number 2 in January. Number 1 will be 3 in Feb, she totally understands that a baby is coming and is very excited about it. She asked a few weeks ago where the baby came out from and I explained to her, she seemed happy enough, but yesterday asked again and seemed a bit confused! Can anyone recommend a book which handles the more practical issues of child birth as well as covering becoming a big sister?

Thanks

[millsa]

I started the previous threat that you mentioned above - will see if I can dig it out and post a link here.

I was telling my then 18-month-old son from the very beginning of the second pregnancy that there was a baby in my tummy. I had no idea how much he understood but very quickly he was pointing at the belly when asked:'where is mummy's baby?'. The baby was born when my son was 2 years 2 months. I used to wonder if he'd ever realise that the baby is the same baby who was in mummy's tummy. So far (three months on) he hasn't shown any signs that he worked that out :)

[pebbles]

My 2 year old didn't really understand until right at the end so wasn't really able to prepare however I got 2 bits of fabulous advice:

When no.1/2 meets new baby for first time don't you or hubby be holding baby, make sure s/he is in moses basket so that you can cuddle your eldest while they're saying hello

Put a small present in the moses basket for that first greeting so when you're cuddling your eldest you can show them the present your baby has got him/her. My eldest still plays with his bob the builder toy 1 yr on and still says how lovely his little sister was for buying the present!!!

Another thing (and maybe now i'm going way over the top) but I didn't want eldest to get jealous so in the mornings when he woke up and he always comes into our room while hubby gets ready for work - well we'd always make sure that baby was back in her moses basket instead of in bed with us. can't remember how long we continued this for but i think for quite a while

Good luck sillywoman, it's amazing and it really does only get better (and easier)

[sillywoman]

Thanks Pebbles - Bless you - but I must confess that I wasn't asking for me, rather to pass on some top tips for friends who are having second babies about now. I've done my bit for repopulating ED and really don't intend to do any more. Four is the end for me!

[millsa]

hehe sillywoman - I was a bit confused that baby5 might be on its way ;-)

My son also got a present from the baby (an African drum) because he used to love drumming. He barely touches the drum from the baby although he still likes and plays other people's drums :~

[snowboarder]

Resurrecting this ladies (+gents!) - after some advice on a practical level. Baby snowboarder 2.0 due early March.

1. - Am hoping to move little sb 1.0 into the spare room - his new big boy room - but I cant see us getting this done until early feb (logistics, decorating etc) - is that going to be too late? I'm almost shying away from doing it at all as he is sleeping SO well in his little room - this morning not a sound until 7.45!!

2. - He's only 21m and although he cuddles my tummy I'm sure he doesn't really get it - and I just feel SO bad for him!! He's obv used to being the only one and getting all my attention - he even resists daddy taking him out/doing bedtime and naps. Trying to deal with this now but will he accept new baby??

3. - HOW to deal with feeding new baby and controlling toddler? Cbeebies whilst at home I suppose but when out? Toddler is not a sit and play quietly kind - he's a run for the hills giggling kind. Will we be under house arrest?

God. Scary!!!

[laurac]

Sorry Snowboarder, no helpful advice for you at all but just responding to an earlier question about books for children which deal with child birth; I bought 'Hello Baby' by Jenni Overend for my then three and a half year old and she really enjoyed it although my mum did raise her eyebrows. It's about a home birth with all the family present so maybe not everybody's cup of tea but anyone expecting with slightly older children welcome to borrow it.