Wise woman wanted to help with bottle feeding and other stuff

[aandl]

My son is 6.5 months old and a lovely happy baby but I am exhausted after solely breastfeeding and broken sleep. We have tried unsuccessfully to get him to take a bottle since 6 weeks and just now running out of energy to express and keep trying. My husband has been trying mainly but we have thrown away so much milk as it just isn't happening. He has now started to bite when feeding so I know I need to do something! And just to be able to take some time away would be so welcome as I can't at the moment.

What I really would love is for someone who knows babies to come and physically help me with this and other baby related stuff as I am getting quite down.

Please PM if you think you can help.

[midivydale]

Hi aandl, I am sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. You have done an amazing job for your little one. What help is it you need? Support? Practical help ie nanny/mothers help?

[Angelina]

https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/breastfeeding-support/

maybe try this? there is a phone number on the website

[Convex]

Hello,

are you looking to reduce / stop breastfeeding or just to get to a more manageable routine which would include a break for you i.e. him taking a bottle?

i had a sleep consultant who helped me a lot with routine. Nicola Watson, lots of reviews on here. she helped me with a lot more than the routine stuff - just helped me to clarify my thoughts and figure out what i wanted to do.

my son fed constantly off me overnight (co-sleeping) and i was so tired and starting to resent him. i decided to start him on a dummy (unusual as he was 10months old!!!) and this worked, i would just break the seal on my nipple and quickly swap it out for the dummy. i can't remember if he was already taking a bottle then, so this might or might not be helpful.

maybe a few stretches of unbroken sleep would help you to catch up on rest and think about what you want to do - would a night nanny be an option for you guys? or someone you trust (a friend, a mum) who could take the baby for 4-5 hours to get you to rest?

also someone on here (Strawbs maybe?) had a really good routine where she slept from 7pm-midnight and then her partner took over from midnight-4am or something like that. so always a guaranteed bit of sleep.

for me, i always had a sleep in so my partner would get up with the baby at 6am and keep him away until 8 or 9 - so no matter what hell the night was i knew i had a 2-3 hour stretch to look forward to.

this might be all too garbled, i don't know, but good that you are asking for help, it can be really shit.

[carebear]

Hi,

I echo the recommendation for Nicola above who helped us beyond just the sleep, with advice on feeding and routine.

On the bottle front, we had similar issues with my oldest. Are you warming the milk in the bottle up? (This was unnecessaary for my eldest but my youngest wouldn't touch milk that wasn't warmed up until he was nearly two). Another thing to try if you haven't already is to go out when your partner tries to feed your baby with a bottle - they're clever little things who can sense when the real thing is around, even if you're in a different room! You could also try using a different bottle - Tommee Tippee worked for us but there are many other tests you could try.

Good luck! Xx

[MarianaTrench]

At 6.5m he doesn't need to feed at night. The digestive system has matured sufficiently at this age that it shuts down during sleep (like with adults - we don't wake up hungry!). Nicola Watson (Child Sleep Solutions) helped me too to get my babies to sleep. She also had good information on feeding and nap routines.

You say you have been trying to get him on a bottle since six weeks. Weaning him off night feeds and getting him to sleep well, will already make a world of difference to you. If you want to stop breastfeeding you could either see if you can transition him straight to a cup, a sippy cup, a doidy cup or a straw whatever he takes, rather than a bottle. I used a nanny at the time to get mine to take a bottle. I used a lady called Annette, who I would recommend, but she is super busy. Otherwise she will have a recommendation for someone else. She spent the day with me and we only offered bottle for the day, whenever she got distressed we would soothe, distract etc, just before her lunchtime nap she took her first milk through the bottle, by the end of the day she took a bottle feed. You do have to be consistent though, offer a minimum of 2 bottle feeds a day (ideally more), preferably at the same times.

[MarianaTrench]

Also, when trying him on the bottle you don't *have* to use breastmilk, you could just use formula. Then if he doesn't take it it doesn't feel like such a waste, expressing on top of feeding a baby and trying him to take a bottle is such hard work. I know that technically he's less likely to take it if it's formula, but hey, if you're adamant he needs to accept a bottle, then he might as well also learn to accept formula! (He'll be fine, honest!)

[Saffron]

MarianaTrench Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> At 6.5m he doesn't need to feed at night. The

> digestive system has matured sufficiently at this

> age that it shuts down during sleep (like with

> adults - we don't wake up hungry!).

This is open to a lot of variation, and as a blanket statement of physiology is less than accurate. Probably each baby should be assessed on his or her individual development and observed needs.

An individual's experience of hunger is not solely linked to digestive activity, nor is the desire for food linked only to hunger. The perception of hunger arises from a complex interplay of digestive, endocrine, and neurological functions, all a which show significant interpersonal development and variation throughout our life times.

In addition to which, the desire for food is sometimes driven by a need for comfort in both babies and adults. That this is a psychological need, rather than a requirement for nutrients, does not make it any less real (though I am not suggesting you implied as such). The age at which babies no longer require night time feeds is based more on our personal perceptions and experience than is it on actual physiology. And it is also dependent on how scenarios are defined, e.g. what length of time constitutes 'night time'. xx

[scareyt]

Im so sorry you're having a hard time. Going through all the faff and indignity of expressing and then ending up throwing it away would make anyone feel wretched. Trying formula in a bottle sounds sensible to me, less emotionally (and literally!) draining. You can get those little single cartons so no need to fiddle about with powder or worry about whether it's sterile. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. I hope you get some good help soon. You could try searching for a private midwife or doula, they can help with all sorts of baby things not just birth.

I found the first six months of motherhood pretty grim (and I absolutely hated expressing) but it does get better.