Help - my 11m old has started trantruming ALREADY!

[embo71]

I like to think that the fact that maybe having tantrums at 1, must mean our kids are super intelligent and are just ahead of their times, and not that we are entering a world of pain. I now have much shorter hair (not through any choice of my own, but through my 12month old pulling it out as if it was the funniest game), I now have to use distraction method to get her ready to get in the buggy, to feed her (can take up to 12 different toys, which all get covered in sludge), and to change her nappy without total tantrums (again toys, but can get covered in different sludge!). I am trying to stay positive about why they behave they way they do and we are all doing the best jobs we can, under sleep deprived (read grouchy as hell), and challenging circumstances (that no class, chat, or book) can prepare you for!

Anyway I am rambling, but I just wanted to say: you're not alone, it is hard, and these little people are just trying to express themselves in the way they can? I think!? But I bet you are doing a grand job, and you should be proud! I don't think I am doing a great job but I think us women can be too self critical.

If anyone wants to meet up with all of our 'determined' (that's what a relative told me my daughter was), kiddies, then get in touch, maybe we should all go to a soft play place and let them run wild? Just a thought....

Anyway good luck, all the best and I have a pair of earplugs that could come in handy?.....

Em

[Belle]

My son (now 20mths) has been like this for a long time, and I received some great support and solidarity through this forum on it - made me feel much better to know I wasn't the only one with a 'determined' or 'spirited' child. We're currently wrestling with more tantrums. Looking back I think that at 9/10/11 mths it was him being frustrated as he didn't understand what was going on all the time, and now at 18/19/20 months it's not that he doesn't understand - he does - it's that he can't always communicate what he wants.

I read some great advice on this kind of thing on the Babycentre birth club for the month my son was born, worth checking out your individual ones as it's always SOO reassuring to see that by flicking through the posts there's usually at least one pertaining to whatever you're going through with your child.

[canadianlisa]

That is a good way to look at it. I am feeling much more positive today after a nearly tantrum free day. I also had a long talk with my mum, who had 4 children within 4 years (!!), who said that she felt she had the longest, hardest days were when we were one but that she felt that it got better (temporarily) for a long-ish period between one and two. It is also good to hear that others are going through the same thing. Helps with perspective.

I also turned off the monitor last night, put in the noise proof earplugs and had a better sleep. Not exactly the parenting tip of the year but feel much more human today and my little girl was fine in the morning. We also had some success today with a joint feeding- I feed my daughter and then she 'feed' me with her spoon. Who knows what tomorrow will bring but a good day helps a lot.

Best of luck everyone.

L x