Would you go for extra space or location with 2nd baby?

[EmmaCC]

I know this is a bit of a random one but always enjoy reading the advice on here so here goes...just wondered if anyone could offer a view on our moving dilemma..

I'm 6 months pregnant with our 2nd baby (No1 is 2 years). We currently rent a 2 bed garden flat in central East Dulwich. We are looking to move (renting again) before the next baby is born, to a 3 bed house - we need more space than we've got in our current flat and a third room so my mum etc can come and stay - all the relatives live miles away and am really hoping for their help when number 2 arrives (so 3rd bedroom not for the newborn really as he/she will be in with us and then hopefully in with my daughter)

We have been looking for a couple of months now and we constantly seem to be faced with the same dilemma - for our budget we have the choice of a small 3 bed house in East Dul with small garden or a bigger 3/4 bed house in say the Catford side of forest hill with a larger garden.

I'll be on maternity leave for 6 months from Jan so spending far more time at the home than usual so where we live for the next year or so is an important decision...albiet I accept not as important as if we were buying the house... I suppose my question to people (especially those who have had 2!) is - would you go for more space in a (dare I say it less desirable area, no offence to FH intended!) OR would you stick with central ED where we are at the moment, with loads going on and sacrifice space? I've lived in ED for the last 5 years and have to admit the thought of moving v far is scary... A friend suggested to me that you don't need a big garden anyway when the children are that young as they're not eactly old enough to want a game of football and to be honest we have a fairly big garden where we are now but we only seem to use the front part where the eating area etc is...We plan to rent for about 18 months to 2 years.. unless we win the lottery before then and can afford to buy!

I'd be interested to hear any views people have... many thanks in advance...

[Fuschia]

We are staying where we are despite another new arrival due... we really need 2 more bedrooms! But loth to leave friends/ED/creche/school etc just yet...

[Fuschia]

if you're renting, i'd stay in ed for now..

but have you thought about school start dates etc for no 1?

either move before the application date... jan after they're 4... or get into an ed school and transport her and no 2, in due course

[tor]

I'd say stay where you are too.....

Personally it's been more important to me to be wihtin walking distance from my friends and be in a familiar place when I've been on maternity leave than have a bigger house. I'd say a three bed house, even it's a small three bed house is plenty to accomodate two young children. We live in a three bedroom house with a TINY garden...in fact it can hardly be classed as a garden as it's so small but it's been fine for us. Obviously once the children get a bit older in an ideal world we'd like more space but for now it's more than adequate.

[Keef]

I live in Upper Sydenham (about equal walking distance between Forest Hill & Sydenham stations), in a 3 bed house with garden, and the rent is waaay cheaper than it would be in Dulwich (in fact, it seems cheap for around here too, but I'm not going to mention that to the landlord!).

It's great for the kids up here, we have Wells Park, which is a bit small, but IMO better / prettier than anything in ED. We also have Mayow Park, which has a decent playground, and I think they're actualy spending a bit doing the place up a bit.

My wife takes our daughter to lots of groups locally, so there is stuff going on, and a more mixed group of people.

It feels a lot greener, and the housing stock is a lot nicer than in ED.

197 & 176 buses are regular, and take 10-15 minutes down to the shop part of Lordship Lane, so all the stuff you want down there is on the doorstep basically.

I'm from ED, and I love it, but I genuinely feel I have the best of both worlds living up here. (plus if there is ever a massive flood, we're up hill, ED is doomed!!!! ;-))

PS. I wouldn't particularly recommend Lower Sydenham / Catford, always seem quite bleak to me.

[Sanne Panne]

We found a decent compromise when faced with the same dilemma: we moved to Herne Hill which has lots of playgroups and a good park/playground at walking distance - and friends/shops in ED just a few bus stops or short car drive away. HH is not loads cheaper but there are more slightly bigger houses there so a better chance of finding something.

Good luck with your decision!

[Ko]

personally i think i would go for space. since having a baby we seem to use so much more space and have my mum staying over loads more which is a real help (no family nearby, so is nice when she can come over and give a hand).

sometimes space can feel short with so many baby things and a noisy baby! i have friends in forest hill whom i regularly visit. takes less than 10 mins in car, or i bus it (176, 185 or 197 to barry rd upland rd stop - that's about 2 mins walk from northcross rd). if you plan to come to ED a lot, make sure you are close to a good bus route.

i get the impression that there's loads of baby things going on in se23 and the horniman park is goooorgeous - horniman museum has a lot of kids activities going on and i think the honor oak pub (st germans/germains? rd)is popular with mums and kids. i agree with keef that mayow park is lovely (although small, but i think there's a kids playground?)

a big garden isn't essential, just enough space for the little ones to run around and tire themselves out!

i live in se22 by the way, but i have thought about moving to one of the surrounding areas, but stamp duty etc would make a move expensive so not worth moving until we have to. good luck x

[chantelle]

i'd go for the small 3 bed house in ED (or Peckham Rye - even better) - you may get lucky and find something with a decent garden. Rent should be less than ?400/week.

[The Nappy Lady]

Have you looked at Forest Hill, Brockley, or Nunhead? Where I am in Nunhead (just off Ivydale Rd) it's 15 mins walk over Peckham Park to ED & very pleasant. Not sure about rents, but think you can maybe get the best of both worlds if you hunt just a little bit outside the immediate area.

I'm no expert though so if you've done this & I'm wrong apologies.

I think if you plan to have a relative staying regularly you may be glad of a bit more space.

[candj]

I think the rule for purchasing which I'm sure can be applied to renting is to buy the biggest possible place that you can afford in the area you LOVE. It sounds like the 3 bed in ED has a garden, albeit not as big as the house in Catford, but at least it has one. We have a very small garden but it's enough for the kids to get out and play and on days they really need to let off steam, we just go to any of the walkable parks in ED, Dulwich, Peckham, Goose Green playground or Sunray Gardens. I personally would miss all the rest of bustling ED that makes it great to get out and about with children. I don't know Catford very well, but think it would be nice to stay in the same area once your newborn arrives just for continuity sake.

If you're really after a touch more space, I would at the closer surrounds, Herne Hill, Nunhead, Peckham, Forest Hill all are within easy short bus rides away.

Hope that helps and good luck with your decision.

[canadianlisa]

I was going to say the same. I live on the Horniman side of Forest Hill and it is a great location. The Horniman on the door step, 15 minutes walk to Dulwich Park or P4 bus. And a do-able longer walk to ED or Peckham Rye or an easy bus ride. I almost always get a spot on the bus down- although it might be a bit harder if you are going to have a side by side double buggy. There is lots going on in FH and lots of mums and babes. Honor Oak is also nice but a few less buses. Trains are great from Forest Hill and there is a local decent sized Sainsburys which is unexciting but convenient.

I wouldn't think you'd get a lot more for your money in Herne Hill but I could be wrong. I really like Herne Hill.

We also have a 2 bedroom flat and are having the same thoughts in terms of future arrivals. My number one priority would be increased storeage rather than another bedroom.

[Gussy]

Hi we had the same dilemma and went for extra space in the end and so glad we did. We were in a 2 bed garden flat and are now in a 3 bed house (Peckham Rye). So much nicer to put the kids to bed 'upstairs' and out of the way :) We intended to use the 3rd bedroom for friends and family but recently put baby in there. The difference to our and his sleep has been massive. He also doesn't wake up his sister if he starts crying in the night, and vice versa, another bonus. I have 2 under 2 years and to be honest while the area is important, I spend a lot of time at home, especially in the early months, and so 'outside' makes not a great deal of difference right now. I'm sure in a year or so it will...We've also got so much stuff out now - another highchair, bouncy chairs, playmat, bouncer all in addition to toddler toys, so the extra space has been much needed.

[sglanzer]

Having recently bought a house and looked at both SE22 and SE23, I've felt very happy with our decision to go for the ED side of SE23, on the hill behind the Horniman. It's remarkable how much price per square meter seems to drop once you go over the SE23 boundary - we are just one street out of SE22, yet our house was pleasingly considerably cheaper than similar ones in East Dulwich. On the near to Dulwich side of SE23, the gardens are bigger, the views are often amazing (we can see st paul's) and yet you are still within a short walk or very short drive of Lordship Lane, as well as the lovely Horniman etc. Also with kids, a very big thing it has to recommend it is great schools, particularly Fairlawn. Nunhead also looks attractive to me for similar reasons.

[born&brED]

I ditto most of the above - 5 mins up the road and you're in cheaper territory already. We would be in a 1-2 bed in ED for same as our 3 bed house in Honor Oak, and it's such a great area. The Horniman area is really lovely if you can find somewhere there - great views, green spaces, schools, shops, stations and a 5 min drive or 20 min walk to ED if you want it.

[ladywotlunches]

Another vote for the Horniman side of Forest Hill (or 'Upper Dulwich Bottom' as some like to call it :) )

So much more space - not just in the housing stock, but also the width of the roads/less traffic/more parking. I used to live just off NX road and moved a couple of years ago, and still whenever I drive in ED now it shocks me at the gauntlet you have to run just to get down some of the roads without coming face to face with a white van man - let alone being able to park.

ED was lovely to be able to walk 2 minutes to anything we needed, but with kids, we reasoned that more planning is required to go out in the evenings now anyway, so when booking a babysitter we can book a cab too if needed (max ?5 to LL).

Its now a bit more of a walk to things but the Horniman is on our doorstep - and the hills make for a great thigh workout - as my builder commented one day "I bet the mum's round here don't have cellulite" ;)

[EmmaCC]

Thanks so much for all the replies - they make very interesting reading!

We've decided to focus our search on the Horniman side of FH and Honor Oak in a bid to get a bit more space but stay within reach of ED...finding a 3 bed house to rent in these areas is proving difficult at the moment but hopefully we'll find something soon.

Thanks again,

Emma

[helenat1970]

I think the key question is schools I'm afraid - do you want to walk to a good school? Do you want to pay and walk to a good school?

Pick your school, decide on whether you'll pay or not, then do your budget and work out whether you need to be sitting on top of the school, or whether you can cope with a drive, I would say. We drive to school and it requires a 2 hour commitment daily. Not to be sniffed at - but we opted for space.

[millsa]

if you move to Catford we will never see you again... Having 3 bedrooms have become handy with a second baby (for night time feeds and nappyt changes etc) and for granma to stay there when she comes and helps. But if you live near PR park, you wont need a huge garden. I hope you'll find something in PR :)

[huncamunca]

Go for the space you need in an area you can grow to love. The comment about (primary) schools first is ridiculous as any well supported child will do OK wherever they are - secondary may be a different matter, but that is a long way off for you..

[chantelle]

i don't think it's ridiculous to plan around a school - particularly whilst renting and having lots of flexibility.

[Layla's Mum]

I recommend Honor Oak Park. Within really easy distance of East Dulwich but you get a lot more space for your cash. We moved from a two bed place on Melbourne Grove to a much large 1930s 3 bed for less money than the ED property. Schools around here are generally excellent, especially Stillness Infants which gets an outstanding Ofsted and the parents rave about it. Downsides are that you just dont get the conveniences you get in ED which means you end up in the car more. I miss all the lovely shops in ED. The community spirit round here is very strong though, especially when your kids start at a local school and you get to know almost everyone around you. Blythe Hill Fields has a fabulous play area. As does Hilly Fields Park. There are lots of kiddies stuff going on. Having said that, the Horniman area is also supposed to be lovely. My friend's daughter is at Horniman School which is supposed to be brilliant. Good luck with your search.

[littleEDfamily]

We've just moved for more space and infuriatingly, our daughter refuses to go in the garden (unless there are other kids to lure her out there - she doesn't seem to quite understand the concept) and is afraid of going upstairs alone... who would have thought.... We do like where we now live (outside of London, yes I am a saddo who still partakes of the EDforum), but I def wouldn't recommend moving for space alone. I think a family of four can squeeze into a 3 bedder with good storage, so unless you love an alternative location, I would stay in the bosom of ED.

[Rach]

Hello

We has exactly the same dilemma. We got so used to living in the centre of East Dulwich with everything on our door-step. However, no 2 and visiting relatives meant we had to move out. We are now in Peckham Rye and we love it. We are near Warwick Gardens which is packed with children and very friendly parents. The transport links are much better and we're only an additional 10/15 mins walk from East Dulwich so I still pop in a lot. We now how the Bellenden shops which are looking fabulous with the Victoria in, Cafe Mon Petit Chou (sp) and apparently a new pizza restaurant.

Maybe you were thinking further field but if not do have a look.

The more space we have is fabulous too - a garden is fabulous - no need to constantly go to the park every day trying to tire them out!

All the best, Rach

[snowboarder]

Littleedf - where have you moved out to? Still in this dilemma ourselves but we are lucky enough to have 3 beds so can manage for a bit...

[Helen GV]

I'd look around and see what you find, we moved to Forest Hill a year ago only because my husband insisted we view a (rental) property which sounded too good to be true (massive garden with blackberries, two pear trees and at least five apple trees, plus lawn and other trees)

We are right by the Horniman too and as someone posted above, we can get anywhere without too much trouble.

Good luck with it all, moving is a stress at the best of times so I hope you find somewhere you are happy with!