Over the past few weeks, it has become apparent to me that...

[Ladymuck]

...some posters - for various reasons - will avoid the Forum pet dog's posts (I am, of course, talking about W**F's). Fair enough, each to their own, chacun a sont gout, whatever tickles your fanny, whatever floats your boat and all that. He (it?) is not everyone's cup of tea (who is? - though, personally, I think he is hilarious).

May I just say to those of you to whom this applies that, if there is one (just one) W**F thread which you should look at, it is W**F's Lottery thread. Far from being one of the mad dog's pranks, this is a serious thread for charity: in aid of The Pakistan Flood Appeal (via Oxfam) and St. Christopher's Hospice. All you have to do is to pick a number (or two) between 1 and 3,740 (I know, I know!) and consider making a donation. There are real prizes involved (which the clever fleabag of a dog has managed to extract from local businesses). Examples of such prizes include:

- Franklins: lunch for two (Mon - Fri)

- The Herne: lunch or dinner for two

- The Blue Mountain: dinner for two (Mon - Fri)

- William Rose: 2 x ?15.00 Gift Vouchers

- The Meat Wagon: 2 prizes. Casual dinning for two (this Sunday or Friday nights)

- Alhambra in Sydenham: afternoon tea & cakes for x 4 people or a tapas lunch for x 2

- Pie in the Sky: 2 x Pies & 2 x juicy sausage rolls eat in/or take away

- Green & Blue: a lovely bottle of Champagne.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I should just add that the flea-ridden dog will be getting nothing out of the lottery draw himself (well, only immense satisfaction derived from undertaking a truly altruistic task) as he has exempted himself from the Draw.

That's all I wanted to say. Apologies if any offence has been caused - none is intended. I just wanted to draw your attention to W**F's work (and he has worked tirelessly on this).

[silverfox]

Did you mean 'Tickle your fancy' above Ladymuck or did something go wrong in translation?

[Ladymuck]

No no..."tickle your fanny" was quite deliberate...but "tickle your fancy" will do just as nicely.

[Ladymuck]

...in fact, for those who don't actually possess a fanny, it makes for a rather decent substitute silverfox.

[jamesb]

Ladymuck Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> ...some posters - for various reasons - will avoid

> the Forum pet dog's posts (I am, of course,

> talking about W**F's). Fair enough, each to their

> own, chacun a sont gout, whatever tickles your

> fanny, whatever floats your boat and all that. He

> (it?) is not everyone's cup of tea (who is? -

> though, personally, I think he is hilarious).

>

> May I just say to those of you to whom this

> applies that, if there is one (just one) W**F

> thread which you should look at, it is W**F's

> Lottery thread. Far from being one of the mad

> dog's pranks, this is a serious thread for

> charity: in aid of The Pakistan Flood Appeal (via

> Oxfam) and St. Christopher's Hospice. All you

> have to do is to pick a number (or two) between 1

> and 3,740 (I know, I know!) and consider making a

> donation. There are real prizes involved (which

> the clever fleabag of a dog has managed to extract

> from local businesses). Examples of such prizes

> include:

>

> - Franklins: lunch for two (Mon - Fri)

>

> - The Herne: lunch or dinner for two

>

> - The Blue Mountain: dinner for two (Mon - Fri)

>

> - William Rose: 2 x ?15.00 Gift Vouchers

>

> - The Meat Wagon: 2 prizes. Casual dinning for two

> (this Sunday or Friday nights)

>

> - Alhambra in Sydenham: afternoon tea & cakes for

> x 4 people or a tapas lunch for x 2

>

> - Pie in the Sky: 2 x Pies & 2 x juicy sausage

> rolls eat in/or take away

>

> - Green & Blue: a lovely bottle of Champagne.

>

> --------------------------------------------------

> --------------

>

> I should just add that the flea-ridden dog will be

> getting nothing out of the lottery draw himself

> (well, only immense satisfaction derived from

> undertaking a truly altruistic task) as he has

> exempted himself from the Draw.

>

> That's all I wanted to say. Apologies if any

> offence has been caused - none is intended. I

> just wanted to draw your attention to W**F's work

> (and he has worked tirelessly on this).

Thanks for alleviating my skeptisism/confusion/suspicion around W**F's 'lottery'... I will now partake and donate! :)

[Ladymuck]

That is BRILLIANT jamesb.

Big Kiss X

[Narnia]

I'd no idea anyone was sceptical about it. I'd trust the dog to bring me a barrel of brandy if I was stuck on an Alp. He may be too late arriving but what the heck.

[Ladymuck]

You are stuck on an Alp Narnia?

Is that what is preventing you from rescuing me from the clutches of JDGodzillaQueen?...

And there was I thinking you were just being a grumpy old so and so...

I hope fleabag reaches you quickly (and in time).

x-o-x-o

[TheArtfulDogger]

I haven't trused him since we were puppies

and that's a long long time

[Axeman]

Are the two of you shagging, or what?

[Ladymuck]

Axeman Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Are the two of you shagging, or what?

Would you care to define "or what"?

[Axeman]

Well, are the two of you *sleeping* together? Which, quite frankly, would explain the suspect praise and attention. Or do you just pity the poor soul you're trying to promote?

I'd hazard a guess that it's both.

[Ladymuck]

Axeman Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Well, are the two of you *sleeping* together?

> Which, quite frankly, would explain the suspect

> praise and attention. Or do you just pity the poor

> soul you're trying to promote?

>

> I'd hazard a guess that it's both.

In that case, I'd advocate you continue guessing.

*thinks where the f-uck is Huguenot...to cut this purported Axeman down to size*

[Huguenot]

Lol

Just watching Malcolm Tucker on The Thick of It. He draws a distinction between 'moron' and 'tosser' and the application of energy that possibly may have some relevance :))

Neither of which do I apply, BTW, to anyone in this conversation. Just made me chuckle.

[brum]

Best we give this Axeman chap an extra-wide berth whilst he swings that ugly axe of his, methinks....

[katie1997]

what the ...

Axe "man" I'd say that helping to promote the charities, and goodwill of local business was the intention.

> Franklins. Lunch for two ( Mon- Fri )

> The Herne. Lunch or dinner for two

> The Blue Mountain. Dinner for two ( Mon-Friday )

> William Rose 2 x ?15.00 Gift Vouchers

> The Meat Wagon, 2 prizes.

> Alhambra in Sydenham. Afternoon tea & cakes for x

> 4 people or a Tapas lunch for x 2

> Pie in the Sky. 2 x Pie's & 2 x juicy sausage

> rolls eat in / or take away

> Green & Blue. A lovely bottle of Champagne

> Please play, it is all for a good cause or two

> Donate & Gift Aid here...

> Right now there are nearly 20 million people (

> roughly the population of Holland ) displaced from

> their homes in Pakistan, they need all the help

> they can get

> https://www.oxfam.org.uk/donate/pakistan-floods/in

> dex.php

> The St.Christopher's hospice is local & it's work

> is beyond measure in helping people & families

> cope during illness

> https://www.stchristophers.org.uk/page.cfm/Action=

> Form/FormID=21/t=m

(I know, I know brum, sorry...)

[dita-on-tees]

Perhaps in Axeman we have finally found the missing link between modern humans with a sense of charity and kindness and thoughtless neanderthal men with an awareness of fire and meat...

St Christopher's is an amazing charity and the help and support offered by hospices to families in terrible times is amazing.

Well done Woof!

Dxx

[Ladymuck]

Hey dita-on-tees!

I've just seen re. your donation to Woof's Lotto.

BIG KISS X

[legalbeagle]

dita-on-tees Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Perhaps in Axeman we have finally found the

> missing link between modern humans with a sense of

> charity and kindness and thoughtless neanderthal

> men with an awareness of fire and meat...

Thanks DOT, you put very eloquently what I was thinking. Saves me feeding the Troll.

> St Christopher's is an amazing charity and the

> help and support offered by hospices to families

> in terrible times is amazing.

>

> Well done Woof!

Hear hear! Good mutt. And good on you m'Lady for increasing the cash flows.

[dita-on-tees]

Why thank you LegalBeagle. I was going to just say ohhh what a fcking knob, but you know I thought I should make the effort.... it is for a good cause.

[legalbeagle]

Well it's a judgement call really isn't it. A simple "OFFS, what a knob" will often suffice and is very effective (see ???? on another Axeman thread re "creches" for a fine example) but here I think your nod to observational humour was indeed apt. A very funny.

Bravo that woman.

And behave yourself Axe. Swinging at her Ladyships good deeds is just not nice.

[Axeman]

I'm not commenting on any charitable effort. I'm commenting the pitiful nature of this thread. Which appears to be a by proxy plea for attention on behalf of someone who, judging by the erratic and incomprehensible posts, clearly has learning difficulties.

Oh, and this raffle is a bit false seeing as the prize goes to whoever the organizer likes the most. But I imagine you all know this, but don't want to say it, to avoid shattering the transparent illusion of goodwill towards people you've never met.

How pathetic.

[????]

0.5/10

[dita-on-tees]

???? Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> 0.5/10

overly generous...

[woofmarkthedog]

Axeman Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I'm not commenting on any charitable effort. I'm

> commenting the pitiful nature of this thread.

> Which appears to be a by proxy plea for attention

> on behalf of someone who, judging by the erratic

> and incomprehensible posts, clearly has learning

> difficulties.

>

> Oh, and this raffle is a bit false seeing as the

> prize goes to whoever the organizer likes the

> most. But I imagine you all know this, but don't

> want to say it, to avoid shattering the

> transparent illusion of goodwill towards people

> you've never met.

>

> How pathetic.

__________________________________________

Oh good..

Problem solved !

How about YOU meet me & I give you the numbers in a hat

You draw them ( whilst I film it ) & i'll then upload it on here ( the forum )

Then YOU also draw the prizes for the winners

All above board, specially as the guy who was going to do it is "busy" getting married

Even better, all the players meet up at "The Actress" while you help me do the draw "live"

I'm free Tuesday night onwards

W**F