Jump to content

Recommended Posts

http://www.bitoffun.com/forums/funny-jokes-f26/adam-and-eve-noi


A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."


And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."


And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.


And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."


And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."


And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.


After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."


And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."


And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved. And God was pleased. And Dog was happy.


And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.


Dixie

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/13441-where-pets-come-from/
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Maybe I'm behind the times, but in the old days if you went to a pub for charity fundraiser you'd have a quiz or karaoke and you'd be chipping in for a new scanner at your local hospital or maybe sending some poor kiddie for some cancer treatment abroad. Nowadays you can roll down to the Old Nun's head in Nunhead and tip your money into a bucket for some sad young woman to go a private surgeon and have her breasts sliced off -  as if that was going to be some kind of life-saving treatment!  Not only that, she's publicising her Valentine's crowdfunder with a funny ha ha (not) cartoon of a girl (see pic) with a hypodermic in her bum and calling it 'Valen-Tits-off'. Jesus wept. Whatever happened to hearts and flowers? It's so unbelievably sick. I'm a woman, I've pretty much still got all the woman-bits intact. Periods and puberty weren't much fun, I was bullied at school, wondered about my sexuality and boys and spots and the rest of it, got called a lezzer by the class cow, but I got through it. And I would no more think that cutting bits off a girl was the solution to her misery than I would put my teenage daughter on a diet if she was diagnosed with anorexia. I can't be the only person who finds the pub - and its publicity material - very VERY offensive?
    • I know you asked for recommendations, but I have lots of families who would happily give a glowing reference for my tutoring.  Will DM you.
    • There's Gather  in Bellenden Road. And doesn't the Turkish (?) shop sell no packaging things? I'm sure it used to at one point. Maybe it stopped.
    • If nobody on here knows, I will ask at a DIY shop. I already googled, but most of the solutions aren't feasible for me, I don't think.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...