How soon after birth do you...

[Natalie Doula]

Morning,

I was just browsing this morning and found this interesting question on 'Sex 4 days after birth could I be pregnant?'.

I just wondered what everyone thought about how soon is too soon??? Here is the link http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100912033513AADKpDN

Natalie

[born&brED]

Well, I know I'd be PETRIFIED! I think my whole world was still a blur after 1 month, and I took at least 4 or 5 months to feel normal after an episiotomy. But I guess it does happen, and you just deal with it as best as you can at the time, and I'd never say any time was 'too soon' to someone else's face!

[Ruth_Baldock]

The thought of touching my husband in any sexual way was LAUGHABLE for me until my son was about 5 months old. I do know someone who was at it less than a week after her c-section though. hmm...

[cate]

A neighbour of mine growing up had 2 boys 10 months apart. Her husband must have been very eager.

[LoopyMum]

After breast feeding every 2 hours through the night, a sore tummy, not to mention down below and an excruciating back

ache sex was the last thing on my mind for months.....:-$

[Natalie Doula]

Hi all,

Hope I didn't offend anyone by saying 'how soon is too soon?', just wondered what everyone personally thought. For me a few weeks felt right but I know for some this would be too soon. It is a very personal choice :)

Natalie

[candj]

Good lord! Not unless you wanted Irish twins, but 4 days after birth is a bit soon!

[Ruth_Baldock]

Have been thinking about this all day, and actually, I have very vivid memories of beg'up for it' about 10 days after my baby was born. But I didn't. A health visitor told me it was due to hormonal changes (that old chestnut...) and advised me to use precautions. within a week I was staring at my husband sleepig soundly whilst I attempted to soothe a hyterical baby at 4am, whilst thinking 'i hate yoooooou!' ( husband, not child)

[born&brED]

I was actually talking about being pregnant so soon, after reading the link. Just the thought of 2 soooo close in age!

[Natalie Doula]

I know what you mean about close age gaps. I'm going to have a 16month gap and for me that feels like a close age gap can't imagine an 11 month gap! :)

Natalie

[MrsP]

Actually, there is an 11 month gap between my two, it does happen though I think I should have had more sense!!!

[Sally81]

there's only a 13 month gap between me and my sister. I was four months old when the doctor happily told my mum 'congratulations!'. She always says she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her! My sister loves that story, i'm sure.

Interesting thread though as I'm pregnant with my first and it's good to hear about how long 'these things' take.

[Natalie Doula]

Wow well done to you MrsP! I suppose if it happens soon after one baby and you know you want more then the gap really doesn't matter :)

Natalie

[jollybaby]

There is only a 10 1/2 month gap between my stepsister's children. She didn't find out that she was pregnant with the second until she was 18 weeks or so when she felt the baby move. It was a bit of a surprise!

[born&brED]

Wow! And they say you feel the baby sooner in subsequent pregnancies. That must have been such a shock.

Natalie, I think 16 months is a nice gap - there is 17 months between my brother and I and we got on really well in terms of playing together. Also 16 months between my cousin's youngest too and they are just fab together. Congratulations and best wishes!

[Pickle]

I have just under 17 months gap between my two and it's brilliant, especially at the age they are now (just over 2 and 3.5) - they play together, we can go to groups and they're both interested, and they are developing a really close relationship which is lovely to see. My gap wasn't planned to be quite so small, but has turned out to be the best thing that ever could have happened.

[ClareC]

My friend had number one in Oct last year, back at work 6 weeks before maternity leave starts for number two, due November!!

Thought you were supposed to not get pregnant whilst exclusively breast feeding!!

[GinaG3]

Sex 4 days after birth!! I could never do that, I couldn't walk properly for 2 weeks (tmi?) let alone do the deed. Cor blimey, my partner was lucky just hitting the 1 month mark.

ClareC - Breastfeeding as a contraceptive is 99% effective if you stick the strict regime, and by strict I mean STRICT!! Baby must feed a certain amount of times a day, not be on any solids, have a strong stuck, feed between certain times of the night and no periods can be present within the mother. The baby cannot be over 6 months old either. Very interesting studies carried out, I'm sure you could find them online if you are interested.

[monniemae]

candj Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Good lord! Not unless you wanted Irish twins, but

> 4 days after birth is a bit soon!

Does it not strike you that this is a flipping derogatory term?! Not having a go - but I'm surprised it persists. A close friend was recently picked up for using this in conversation (about same topic).

And good lord, no, no way, after four days, NO!

[taper]

There was a case recently where a woman died because she had penetrative sex too soon after giving birth. I think before about 4 weeks, there's a heightened risk that air bubbles can pass (across the womb wall?) into the blood stream.

[candj]

monniemae Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> candj Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Good lord! Not unless you wanted Irish twins,

> but

> > 4 days after birth is a bit soon!

>

> Does it not strike you that this is a flipping

> derogatory term?! Not having a go - but I'm

> surprised it persists. A close friend was

> recently picked up for using this in conversation

> (about same topic).

>

Not at all! My husband is Irish and he uses it all the time. I think it's a great term.

[monniemae]

One Irishman happy to use it doesn't make it ok in general parlance, have a quick google of the origins and maybe rethink using it outside your family home / context. My sister is mixed race Irish/Indian and the terms she subversively uses to describe herself would not be ok for me to use, or anybody else to use to describe her. If you used this term about my (literally Irish) nephews who are in the same school year, it would cause huge offence. The good humour or flippancy with which you might bandy a phrase about doesn't override its negative connotations - if anything it makes it worse.

*exhale* Rant over. I would rather my kids never heard your kids casually saying "oh Irish twins..." in the playground.

[sb]

.

[ClareC]

Surely it's a matter of the context and circumstance it's used.... Clearly wasn't meant offensively!

[candj]

What origins??? Something deeply rooted about Catholicism and birth control? The term is used to describe two siblings born within 12 months of each other, FULL STOP.

AAAAND, if you looked at my original post, it wasn't directed at anyone but in jest to the OP's post of having sex 4 days after giving birth, not that I need to defend myself nor apologise.

PC has really gone mad.