Jump to content

Recommended Posts

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Meanwhile, in one of many Everett-Wheeler

> alternative realities, a young superposition of

> our heroine was gently caressing a kiwi fruit...



...in order to "warm" it up ready for lobbing at HAL9000 at the speed of pairs of quantum-mechanically entangled particles just catching him milliseconds (with a massive splat in his fat cheeky face) before his current life takes another direction towards another branching universe.

The Kiwi bear is unhappy having his fruit thrown away, so chooses a grape from a stall in the road market, being a well trained bear he washes it in the nearby watering can, eating it he projects the pips in the direction of a passing woman with her nose held high attracts a prominant target, the woman gets into her RR car as the chauffeur holds open the door, but the now slippery woman being in the nude slips on the leather seat and is ejected out the other open door that the greengrocer is placing inside her shopping, landing on bags of greenpeas.
HAL is actually orbiting the earth...I eventually lost all patience with him and rocket launched him far into space where the earth's gravitational pull has caused him to orbit like another moon. In fact, if ever you spot a partial eclipse of the sun which looks as though our stellar orb looks as though a postage stamp has been affixed to it, it is the HAL9000 computer passing by looking down on us. And if you happen to be in the Atacama desert in northern Chile at the time and you have the opportunity to view this phenomenon through the Very Large Telescope you might just be able to see a little twinkling of his (one) eye.

While the Blue Danube plays softly in the background, HAL9000's kiwi-fruit shaped launch vehicle docks smoothly with the bagle-shaped Starbucks space station. One small step for man, one giant shag for a computer!


I'll be in orbit for a week or so - don't have me doing anything you wouldn't do!

Ladymuck can't get there quick enough and turbo boosts the comet. DJKQ gets distracted by yet another licensing issue and returns to planet earth..................whooooooosh................


*waits for LM to throw everything within range at me and then legs it back to current issues*

* meanwhile *



Prince Philip eases himself in to a "talced" black latex suit


"Come on gel, zip me up"


" hmmm hmm vvmmm hmm " say's the Queen


( she is wearing a gas mask here)



* there's a knock at the door *



"Oh bugger, who can that be " say's Philip


" hmmm hmm vvmmm hmm " say's the Queen , whilst looking through the key hole


" WHO "


" hmmm hmm vvmmm hmm " say's the Queen ( pointing to a picture of Nelson Mandela )


* Philip hides in a suit of armor *



W**F

ArtVandelay Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> * meanwhile *

>

> someone is STILL knocking at the door, a talc

> salesman by the looks of it

____________________________________


" Does Mr.Mandela sell talc now " signed the Queen in "Makanan"


Philip ( looking through the visor ) shifts his eyes left & right; signaling "How should I know "


The Queen lights a cigarette & slumps down onto the bed


"Philip, things are not like they used to be" she signs


He flips down the visor & taps out "No dear" in morse code


* the door is knocked again *


" Ahh pleeze wooda you conshider aaaa lettin me iiiin, as Iiii amm aaa nakeed "

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • The private sector is not going to build a significant amount of social housing. Everyone is very keen for *everyone else* to subsidise construction of social housing. I take it none of the objectors to this scheme was suggesting putting up council tax so Southwark could build more social housing...? Social housing isn't going to appear in serious numbers if the state doesn't borrow money and build it.
    • They must be really desperate to collab with Tesla. Honestly, it's not even the worst thing they've done. I've noticed these sex events happening in the last few months at a place that's supposed to be a restaurant and venue. I was planning my wedding there and was appalled by the setup for those events. When I discovered what was going on, I was disgusted by how they were using the same rooms as 'playrooms' where families are supposed to eat. The hygiene and safety concerns are just unacceptable. We really need to come together as a community to put a stop to this! They're destroying a sacred, Grade II listed building, and it's just not right. The owners need to be held accountable for their actions. It's time for us to stand up and protect our heritage and ensure that these spaces are used appropriately, especially when they should be serving families and the community.   sex events vid.mp4 sex events videe.mp4 Literally promoting it on their Instagram! Only just taken down after scrutiny.     
    • yes, which properly explains why they responded to me on this occassion, as i included the CQC in my response. I have spoken to the Health Ombudsman, and they feel the regulator is more suited to the issues I have raise for more than a year now. welcome aboard. its great to have you on the thread. so sorry you are also experiencing issues. has this been addressed as yet?
    • Tbh most Tesla owners are people who are concerned about the environment and have purchased accordingly- but mr nut job has soured their purchasing- so I actually sympathise with them being associated with such an awful man. But to actively promote the company given the knowledge we now know about him makes utterly unacceptable. 
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...