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A story

waynetta

By waynetta
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computedshorty

computedshorty

Posted
Posted
The crowd was thick at the scene of the accident I pushed my way through, has the ambulance been called? No. reaching under the lorry the unfortunate Traffic Warden had been forced into the empty spare wheel rack but could not get free. Help me he pleaded, not wishing to feel the wrath of the crowd, I placed his wardens cap on his head and pencil behind his ear.
katie1997

katie1997

Posted
Posted

And the partygoers were horrified to read the headline news on the local forum the next day (whilst nursing hangovers they never expected, having previously vowed to stick to soda and lime)...


"Well-known, witty, local character (insert irrelevant detail eg. age) found unconscious in local car park, torch discarded. Pieces of a smashed rice cooker have been found nearby. Investigation underway to find out if there is a connection. No further details can be revealed at this stage."

computedshorty

computedshorty

Posted
Posted
the local who was found unconscious had been disposing of pruned branches from a nieghbours trees, he had now started to dig to see if the roots extend fron Reckham Rye to his home, he is halfway up Barry Road and stopped to cook some rice but it was unwashed and he became ill, should he name the retailer?
computedshorty

computedshorty

Posted
Posted
lady decided to run naked down Lordship Lane pauses to sit for a moment on my front wall where my pet hedgehog is lying in the sun, a screem of pain and she wont sit down there again, was last seen trying to absorb blood with dried leaves, reminds me of Eve wearing a fig leaf, dont worry she's now reported nearly home behind the football ground replacing leaves as she goes.
Ladymuck

Ladymuck

Posted
Posted
The real Ladymuck is in the Drawing Room being ticked off by the Chair (again!). Therefore, one can only assume that this shameless exhibitionist is not in fact her Ladyship but, an imposter - a suspected "j russell". The real LM immediately alerts ED Police to "Eve" and has her arrested for indecent exposure and thrown into a cell overnight. LM also appoints Legalbeagle to take legal proceedings jointly against both That Queen and CS in respect of the false and damaging allegations.
Ladymuck

Ladymuck

Posted
Posted
And Quids, whilst marginally faster at sprinting, has a record of allowing his trousers to fall down when racing...ED police are quickly diverted to now arrest Quids - now prime suspect. Woofmarkthedog is to accompany them because they have received information that Quids has had one too many Stellas.
DJKillaQueen

DJKillaQueen

Posted
Posted

Having finished the book Grandma gave her she picks up the one she got from the library that afternoon.


'Sir Quids and the Deficit Dragon Slayer'


We can begin....


Once upon a time there was an evil Prime Minister called Mr Cameron whose mission was to rid the land of the poor by throwing them out of their homes, taking away their child benefits and starving them to death........

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