Jump to content

Recommended Posts

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Meanwhile, in one of many Everett-Wheeler

> alternative realities, a young superposition of

> our heroine was gently caressing a kiwi fruit...



...in order to "warm" it up ready for lobbing at HAL9000 at the speed of pairs of quantum-mechanically entangled particles just catching him milliseconds (with a massive splat in his fat cheeky face) before his current life takes another direction towards another branching universe.

The Kiwi bear is unhappy having his fruit thrown away, so chooses a grape from a stall in the road market, being a well trained bear he washes it in the nearby watering can, eating it he projects the pips in the direction of a passing woman with her nose held high attracts a prominant target, the woman gets into her RR car as the chauffeur holds open the door, but the now slippery woman being in the nude slips on the leather seat and is ejected out the other open door that the greengrocer is placing inside her shopping, landing on bags of greenpeas.
HAL is actually orbiting the earth...I eventually lost all patience with him and rocket launched him far into space where the earth's gravitational pull has caused him to orbit like another moon. In fact, if ever you spot a partial eclipse of the sun which looks as though our stellar orb looks as though a postage stamp has been affixed to it, it is the HAL9000 computer passing by looking down on us. And if you happen to be in the Atacama desert in northern Chile at the time and you have the opportunity to view this phenomenon through the Very Large Telescope you might just be able to see a little twinkling of his (one) eye.

While the Blue Danube plays softly in the background, HAL9000's kiwi-fruit shaped launch vehicle docks smoothly with the bagle-shaped Starbucks space station. One small step for man, one giant shag for a computer!


I'll be in orbit for a week or so - don't have me doing anything you wouldn't do!

Ladymuck can't get there quick enough and turbo boosts the comet. DJKQ gets distracted by yet another licensing issue and returns to planet earth..................whooooooosh................


*waits for LM to throw everything within range at me and then legs it back to current issues*

* meanwhile *



Prince Philip eases himself in to a "talced" black latex suit


"Come on gel, zip me up"


" hmmm hmm vvmmm hmm " say's the Queen


( she is wearing a gas mask here)



* there's a knock at the door *



"Oh bugger, who can that be " say's Philip


" hmmm hmm vvmmm hmm " say's the Queen , whilst looking through the key hole


" WHO "


" hmmm hmm vvmmm hmm " say's the Queen ( pointing to a picture of Nelson Mandela )


* Philip hides in a suit of armor *



W**F

ArtVandelay Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> * meanwhile *

>

> someone is STILL knocking at the door, a talc

> salesman by the looks of it

____________________________________


" Does Mr.Mandela sell talc now " signed the Queen in "Makanan"


Philip ( looking through the visor ) shifts his eyes left & right; signaling "How should I know "


The Queen lights a cigarette & slumps down onto the bed


"Philip, things are not like they used to be" she signs


He flips down the visor & taps out "No dear" in morse code


* the door is knocked again *


" Ahh pleeze wooda you conshider aaaa lettin me iiiin, as Iiii amm aaa nakeed "

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • I was in Forest Hill Road today, just past the Rye, and noticed there is a dentist next to the Herne (pub) that has NHS signs outside. I've never had any problems getting NHS dental treatment in East Dulwich, and I get regular check ups. I've been to three  different dental practices here over the years, all with NHS treatment. I think the difficulties are in other parts of the country. Malumbu has a good explanation above. I didn't hear the Radio 4 programme, but I'm guessing that a  radio programme is not going to have time to say where you CAN easily get NHS treatment, and is bound to focus on the negatives and the horror stories, otherwise it would be very boring! ETA: Re children's teeth, I think the major issue is not lack of dentists, it is children being given sugary food, drinks and confectionery which rots their teeth. The education of parents needs to be about this, not just about tooth brushing. And in some cases the poor diet may also be due to lack of money for healthy food. Though of course the lack of dentists doesn't help, if  the tooth rotting can't be rectified by fillings or extraction.
    • Well, I hope you like what you see, the hot air, lack of answers and continual blaming things on the last Government and the made up blackhole, I find are nauseating. The man needs to see reality, because I'd guess that if we had a snap election tomorrow and based on the first six months of this parliament, Labour would get trounced. When the election does finally happen and if that isn't before the people rise up and throw this lot out, Labour will not be voted back in for a millennium.  
    • Yes thanks that's exactly the choices I get.  I will block and if somehow they find a way back I'll report.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...