new born feeding

[Kalamiphile]

Can you Mums bring me up to date with current thinking on waking baby to feed. My grandaughter went from 9pm to 3am without waking and she was only 2 weeks old last sunday. That seems a long time for a little tummy to go, but don't want to say anything in case I am being old fashioned!

[hanstands]

Hello! My midwives [last year] told me to wake them every three hours at this age.

[Ruth_Baldock]

I'd say no longer than 4 hours- that was the advice I was given and it brings back memories of me tearfully waking up my son on new years eve after he had peacefully been asleep since 7pm.

[charlottep]

My midwives told me that if I fed my baby every two to three hours during the day it was ok to go longer at night, they suggested to aim for a four hour stretch at night until birth weight was regained, although my daughter didn't lose any weight as she just cluster fed continuously!

[Pickle]

The advice tends to be 3 hourly... however with both of mine if they fed 3 hourly during the day I left them at night - they would generally wake by themselves at around 3am having had a feed at 10pm (my daughter did this pretty much from day 1). I wouldn't do this if they hadn't fed well during the day though.

[pebbles]

I would make sure that I fed every 3 hours during the day so I didn't worry about waking at night. However i only felt comfortable about not waking at night as both were good weights - if they were not good weights i'm sure i would have woken!!

Well done you for not saying anything - very hard i imagine

[Kalamiphile]

pebbles Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I would make sure that I fed every 3 hours during

> the day so I didn't worry about waking at night.

> However i only felt comfortable about not waking

> at night as both were good weights - if they were

> not good weights i'm sure i would have woken!!

>

> Well done you for not saying anything - very hard

> i imagine

I'm learning fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:-$

[new mother]

I was told clearly by the post natal ward to wake my babies every 3 hours religiously and to set my watch accordingly. I thought it was a bit draconian but only last week heard of the baby of friends - for whom they had waited nearly a decade but that's by the way - who had to be rushed back into hospital on a drip after some damn fool advised them it was ok to let her sleep a long as she liked. Tempting though it is to let them sleep, I'd be waking her long before 6 hours.

[GinaG3]

Personally I would wake the baby every 4 hours (maximum) in the night. Night feeds are also very important to keep your daughters supply up, especially seeing as the baby is 2 weeks old. I had a baby that slept 20 hours a day and was really hard to wake especially during the night. I set alarms at 3 hour intervals throughout the night to wake her to feed.

[Kalamiphile]

Bearing in mind that she is highly sensitive to me, and when i suggested that 6 hours was a long time she asked if I thought she should put an alarmclock on, in a not nice way! How would you want your mother to tell you this piece of info. I did say that I thought it was too long and that her little body was too small to go that long, her reply was she would wake if she were hungry.

Not sure how to approach this and feel quite upset now :(

[Belle]

Don't worry too much - might have been a one-off - might be lots of other times where it's more like cluster feeding. Saw a friend in a private hospital yesterday, where there are a million midwives to each baby and they seem fine about the fact he's going 5 hrs on occasion. Think it's true that you shouldn't leave them too long but I'm sure your daughter is having visits from midwives etc, so don't feel too responsible. Can so see how hard it is for the grannies in this situation! Don't be too hard on yourself.

[Smiler]

It is v.hard for grannies, but I reckon that if the mum is sensitive it may be best not to say anything about this kind of stuff!

[Kalamiphile]

Think you are probably right Smiler. She has had all her visits, so nothing now until the 6 week check. She feed ever 2 to 3 hours in day for about 10 minutes and seems to be putting on weight. Guess I must wind my neck in!!

[jollybaby]

Kalamiphile you can come and give me a hand and advise all you like- my mother has already told me that she doesn't really like newborns and laughed when I suggested that she'd be welcome to stay for a few days! Oh families . .

Now back to the feeding question - I couldn't believe that a 'routine' one of my friends had printed off the internet apparently suitable for 2-3 week old babies suggested that the baby should be sleeping between 11pm and 7.30am without any night feeds. As you can imagine this one went in the bin!

[caroline_green]

I was told 6 hours or when the boobs start to hurt ;-)..but I was breastfeeding and normally breastfeed babies do not sleep that long anyway in the first weeks. But I am with your daughter, they normally wake up when they are hungry.

[Fuschia]

caroline_green Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

But I am with your daughter, they

> normally wake up when they are hungry.

Not necessarily, easy for a tiny baby to get jaundiced, sleepy and be too weak to feed.

[new mother]

Caro Green - I'm glad you said "normally".

They certainly don't necessarily have the mechanisms to wake when hungry and if not putting on weight etc, closer attention must be given to when they are waking.

OP, while I agree it's important to be tactful, for me personally and Im sure for your daughter, the knowledge that grandma is obsessed by her granddaughter is very reasssuring and lovely security to have. Id speak up on this/any issues.

When your daughter said should she put an alarm on, the answer is...errr yes absolutely.

Belle, re prvate hospitals, Im afraid that theya re all too aware of who pays the bill and the fact that the parents want an easy life. I use private medicine a great deal but I never would for birth etc. (seldom an emergencey facilities and I know of too many women who have died unecessarily as a result...)

[sandy_rose]

I was advised every 3 hours, never leave it more than 4 (and I had a big baby). I did set an alarm at night as my baby was very sleepy. If she is breastfeeding she may also be compromising her milk supply if not feeding often enough in the early days.

Your granddaughter is bound to be more sensitive at the moment but perhaps suggest she phones her midwives to double check?

[Kalamiphile]

Thank you for all your thoughts. My other daughter told new Mum daughter about my concerns! She has said she will consult her midwives, altho' reading some of your posts, none of them seem to agree. Younger daughter took the route of comparing it to animals and how you would feed them 24 hours on regular basis. Sadly due to circumstances of how the pregnancy happened daughter is very defensive and my absolute wonderment at her beautiful baby girl does'nt seem to carry much weight!! Hopefully she will get good advice from the midwife and I can let it go.

[Fuschia]

Some MWs aren't very good at bf support. But i doubt they would recommend leaving a 2w baby to slepe all night

x

[Smiler]

A bit alarmist, new mother!

> I use private

> medicine a great deal but I never would for birth

> etc. (seldom an emergencey facilities and I know

> of too many women who have died unecessarily as a

> result...)

[peckhamboy]

I think a lot of it depends on whether the baby has regained birth weight and is putting on weight at the right rate (1oz/day) - our daughter was very slow to put on weight and we were told not to go more than 3 hours (from start to start) during the day and no more than 4 hours at night. Now that she is gaining weight rapidly and thriving (at 8 weeks), we're trying to extend the sleep time but we're still waking her at 10.30pm for a feed and then letting her go as long as she can after that - normally to 4.30am. Formula fed babies can go longer though I think, as they feed less frequently but in greater quantities.

Even though your grand-daughter is still young, if she's gaining weight properly maybe your daughter just has a very co-operative baby!

[Kalamiphile]

Have spoken to midwives where I work and they all very quickly said if she is feeding 6-8 times in day and gaining weight then no problem. I guess I am maybe being stuck in the past plus I did not have co-operative babies! so therefor was being woken every 3 - 4 hours for months!

[caroline_green]

Hi there,

yes I meant 'normally' in the meaning of: a healthy baby with normal weight will wake up when it is hungry. sorry for causing confusion :-)

[apenn]

Hi Kalamiphile,

My midwives told me that it's quite normal for a newborn to sleep up to 6 hrs at a go, as mine did, and that it's not necessary to wake to feed. I never woke my son to feed and gained weight very fast and consistently. There seems to be so much pressure on new mothers about their newborn's weight, but based on my experience and comparing to my friends', the reality is that they all gain at different speeds and there is a great variety in what is healthy. Don't forget that the entire scale in those weight charts is still normal, even if you are at an extreme end of it. They can be so misleading.

I'm sure it's difficult to watch your grandaughter's mother find her way, especially as the advice changes with every generation. If you can hold back a bit now and simply support all of her decisions I'm sure she will appreciate it and start asking for your advice in no time. Well, that's how I was anyway!

Best of luck to all of you!

-A