Was it your less-than-professional nanny @ Peckham Rye 08/09/16?

[NotAHappyMum]

Removed as the parent has been in touch.

[Love_London]

I am not related to any of the children you mentioned or nannies but I just wanted to say that you are doing the right thing by posting on here and it is definitely not an overreaction.

I recently put my daughter with a childminder and to ever think that my child was neglected to cry for nearly an hour, it makes my heart bleed. Also, as you mentioned, if the nanny does this in public space, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors...

I hope the parents of the little girl read this post and take appropriate action.

[LondonMix]

OP- I also think you are doing the right thing. I'd be distraught if that were my daughter! And also absolutely out of my mind livid.

I hope you can find out who the parents are so they can judge the circumstances for themselves and do whatever they deem is appropriate.

[Saffron]

I hope you're able to reach the parents from this post. I would be both angry and mortified if this had been someone looking after my daughter. Of course there's always the off chance that the parents treat the child this way too. Grrr. But at least you saw something amiss and have taken steps to do something about it.

If you don't have any luck with the ED Forum, I wonder whether there is an active FaceBook forum for Peckham Rye park? I know there are active forums for e.g. Telegraph Hill and Hilly Fields/SE4 user groups. xx

[Ris2011]

Good on you for posting.. if it is a parent or nanny no one should be treating children badly (we all understand the difference between discipline and neglect )

[midivydale]

Well done for posting!

[cactus]

I totally share your concerns. It's not ok for young children to be left in distress for prolonged periods. Under 3s in particular have very little capacity to manage their feelings without adult help and support.

Well done for approaching them, and caring enough to follow up on here.

[mumra]

Gut instinct is vital in early detection - good to go with it and nor dismiss. Well posted and hope mother gets to see this - I'd want to.

[cheyanne]

I'm a Ofsted registered childminder and I often come across nannies at various playgroups not interacting with the children, sat chatting, flicking through their phone, slightly irritable..I have never witnessed any mistreatment of a child, just a "can't be bothered/I rather be somewhere else" attitude and I usually think "I wonder if the parents know :-(

I'm guessing its "easier" to be a nanny as no training, dbs/medical checks are compulsory and it pays better than working in Sainsburys.

It took me 11 months to register to become a childminder, countless training and checks...I have a true love for kids which is the main reason for choosing this profession...unfortunately not all people are suitable to work with kids :-(

I hope the parents sees the post :-)

[cabsav13]

Wow, I don't even know where to start with this thread.

Firstly, the OP, I can see where you are coming from with your concerns, however you were not there when the situation started, you don't know the child's personality, you don't know how the parents have asked for their child to be disciplined and you have literally seen a 30 minute snap shot into what is usually a 50hr or more week for most nannies. You have gone into too much detail about the children, including the children who were not involved. You have given a description that fits quite a few nannies in Dulwich and who could be accused of being one of these nannies just by their looks. You have named a child, which you should never do, but you are not even sure that that was the child's name (so again possibly implicating a person who wasn't there) and most importantly, you have taken photos of people and other peoples children without any permission and you think that this is acceptable while willing to give them to any 'concerned' parent who emails you (who probably will just be a nosey mum wanting to see who these 'terrible' nannies are so that they can give them a mouthful in the street) . It is never acceptable to photograph other people's children,especially as there was no child in danger by the sounds of this post. It may not have been your style of discipline, but it doesn't mean it was wrong (as you don't know how the nanny/childminder etc has been told to deal with the child's behaviour and if it a common behaviour of the child) and the fact you are estimating the amount of time the child was crying, could very well mean it wasn't that long at all!!

As for the last poster, Cheyenne, what a disgustingly uninformed argument you have posted! Most nannies ARE OFSTED registered these days as most employers want to claim childcare vouchers. Most nannies have undergone certified training and attend various courses regularly. How do you actually know that these ladies were not childminders. They could be childminders, nannies, au pairs (just because some woman in the park said that they were nannies, it doesn't mean it was right!) what a disgusting attempt to try and big yourself up!!!

[cheyanne]

I'm not in any way trying to big myself up...I have friends that are nannies, some are Ofsted registered and some are not and they are fabulous nannies!

I never stated that ALL nannies are bad!!

I only stated what I see and I know they are nannies as we attend the same playgroups every week...I didn't comment on people out with children in the park that I know nothing about!

But I think leaving a child in a buggy to cry for 50 minutes as part of discipline is a bit harsh.

[cabsav13]

And I have once rescued a 13-15mth old child wandering on her own, again this was in Peckham Rye, and when I eventually found the childminders she was with 100m away from where I found her, they didn't even know she was missing... But I've never felt the need to get on the forum and slate child minders are most are fabulous.

I'm not commenting on what happened in the park, as I wasn't there, but I am saying there are lots of things in the OPs post that should not have been posted. Your post just attempts slate nannies because of this post yet there is no evidence that who is who they were, except one lady who only said they were. If you do have lots of good nanny friends like you say, they will be offended about what you wrote. I won't continue to argue with you about it, as that is pointless, but I stand by the fact that the original poster should not have posted some of the stuff she did, especially with no knowledge of the child, family or child carer. I could agree if the child was abused, but by the sounds of it, she wasn't hurt.

[cheyanne]

My post wasn't meant to offend anyone, I just feel sad when I see a carer, may it be a childminder or a nanny that has very little interest in the child/ren.

[binkylilyput]

A child doesn't have to be "hurt" to be abused.........or simply not treated well. Early detection and people raising the alert is key.

Would you for one moment think a parent would be cross with someone trying to be helpful and raising their concerns? Particularly when there was another person nearby that was shared the OP's concern?

[cabsav13]

Obviously abuse comes in different ways of course it does, but a child screaming on time out doesn't doesn't generally count. I've seen countless kids with parents, grandparents, nannies etc screaming for prolonged periods of time. Some kids scream for no reason. Like I said we don't know what the situation is and neither did the OP. There are obvious situations where someone should get involved, but I don't feel this is one of them. As for the OP saying that someone agreed with her there in the park, that's only her words. There are always two sides to a story. Just because it has been written about in detail, it doesn't mean it's true or right and everyone is just jumping on the band wagon and agreeing.

Yes I would hate to think of someone taking photos of my child and possibly sharing them with 'concerned' parents who have nothing to do with my child. I just think think it's too much, particularly about the children who were not involved. If this is about the child's protection, then that should include descriptions of them on social media and the promise of a photo to be sent to 'genuine' parents. Anyone could say that they think it's their child just to view the photo.

[Saffron]

Children do not scream for "no reason". And neglect is considered a form of abuse.

Agreeing with the OP's action given her description of events does not impart veracity to her story. It merely indicates that others agree with a hypothetical course of action.

It's up to the OP of course to use her own judgement regarding social media. Personally I find her actions reasonable and restrained. A less restrained individual might have simply reported it to social services afterall.

[alice]

cabsav13 you seem quite agitated about the difference between nannies and childminders. have you ever been either?

[cabsav13]

Alice I'm not agitated at all about the difference between a Nanny and a childminder. Both provide child care for a child. What I didn't like was how the childminder slated Nannies in general (just because of one persons post which may or may not be exaggerated) and said how it was easier than working at sainsburys and no training. I know alot of nannies (and child mindera) and all have had proper training, checks etc and undergone Ofsted. Of course there are nannies who have not, but then if a parent takes them on knowing that they have had no training, that is their choice:-)

[Saffron]

NSPCC

Neglect is the ongoing failure to meet a child's basic needs and is the most common form of child abuse. A child may be left hungry or dirty, without adequate clothing, shelter, supervision, medical or health care. A child may be put in danger or not protected from physical or emotional harm.

[alice]

but the fact remains nannies can be totally inexperienced and untrained childminders cannot.

but that is irrelevant anyway. the op was about how a child was treated. time out should be for max of 5 mins at that age.

ps you didn't answer my question

[NotAHappyMum]

Removed as parent has been in touch.

[cabsav13]

Alice in answer to your question, which I inadvertently missed out of my response, Yes I once was a nanny, locally in fact, but I am now a mother and no longer working... But I have a high respect for nannies/child minders for what they do.