What is it you love about bringing up children in East Dulwich?

[snowboarder]

For the first time since we moved to ED 5 yrs ago I started to think this weekend about whether we need to move somewhere else. I suddenly felt sad that we would never be able to afford a house with a garden that babysb and any brothers/sisters he might have could really play in/ride bikes in/have swings in. I grew up in a town in Surrey then school in Croydon (glam!) so I'm a town city person through and through - I don't hanker after the countryside at all - but I just wonder whether there's enough space here for families. I know we have lovely parks but it would be nice to have an afternoon in the garden rather than walking 10/15 mins laden with bikes/picnics etc. And none of the primary schools seem to have any playing fields, which bothers me.

I love it here - lordship lane, shops, baby groups, friends. But is it really a good place for school age kids? Can your kids walk round to their friends and ride their bikes along the roads and you feel ok about it? Tsk just not sure!!

Not thinking we would move far...but go 3/4 miles out and you can get a 4 bd hse with big garden for the price of our 3 bd with courtyard...but would I always be sad we left ED - it's been my favourite place to live so far! What do people think? Those that have stayed with growing families - what do you love - and those that are thinking of moving - well - WHERE??!?

[Princess]

This has been the topic of conversation in the Princess family for the last couple of months. Do we? Don't we? and then of course, where? We love ED and the community we have built up over the various stages of our lives.

Current thinking is the South coast Hove, Brighton, Eastbourne, Worthing kind of way as an interim move based on the fact it's commutable, has good schools/nurseries, we can get a good sized 4 bed detatched house with a large garden, off road parking, and we can easily get to surf a few times a week.

Then ultimately we're hoping to go to Cornwall somewhere around St Ives but that'll have to wait until Mr P is ready to leave his job in London.

[carrieon23]

HI,we are having the same thoughts, and have put our house on the market (gulp) in a bid to get a 4 bed plus decent garden. I must admit I am having sleepless nights as love where we live and although we are staying close its not walking out of your door on to the lane. We have seen somewhere we love and its 'only' 20 mins walk from here but it feels like a bigger move somehow. I am nervous, but have a very busy 19 month old who needs space to wear himself out in!! Personally I think if we cant get what we want near enough I think we should up roots and go out of london properly, but I have no idea where we would begin looking. XX

[Ann]

Hi snowboarder. I've got a 16 and 14 year old, who have lived here all their lives. Luckily we do have a garden, not very large but was great when the children were small; happy memories of paddling pools and barbeques during surprisingly good summers in the '90's.

There is plenty for children to do around here and seemingly more so now with the ever increasing (very) young population. With very young children you have to escort them to various activities wherever you live.

My son (14) has quite literally just walked in the door from cricket practice at Dulwich Cricket Club (37 Bus), between his school and club team he plays at least two games a week. There are also numerous football and rugby clubs etc.

Also plenty of traditional activitied like Brownies and Cubs etc.

My daughter (16) LOVES living in Dulwich. She's old enough to travel to meet friends etc and is quite competant at negotiating train timetables and so on.

Princess, I grew up in Sussex and the areas you mention are probably great, I know Brighton quite well. But there was very little to do in my home town back in the '70's. At least my children have never been bored.

I do sympathise with those who need to move for a bigger house and a garden but I have no regrets bringing up my children here. None at all.

[laam]

You might think it is really odd posting on here now we have moved, but still look on forum as ED has a big place in my heart! We lived in ED for 5 years and loved it, but after our son was born two years ago,we like you started to really think about his future and if we wanted him to grow up in such a highly populated area, the scrum for school places and safety particulary worried us. We moved at the end of last year, only to Surrey but it is the best thing we have ever done. We have so much more space, a fantastic school at the end of the road, without the worry of a place and beautiful countryside and fresh air. There are just as many baby groups and activities and our little boy is thriving. One thing I miss is being able to walk everywhere, we do spend a lot more money on petrol now! Just thought I would let you know it works for us but I also think we are probably not city people although ED is fab and still miss it now.

[citizenED]

Thanks for those last two posts Ann and Iaam.

I love living in East Dulwich and bringing up our two little ones here. Where do I start on the reasons why? Dulwich park is 5 mins from my front door. Once or twice a week I come home from work, scoop up the kids and dash to the park. In this recent weather it's been wonderful. Then we also have Peckham Rye Park and Common 20 minutes walk away, Horniman Triangle 20 mins away and Lordship Lane. I can walk in any direction from my place and we get somewhere lovley. I hardly ever bundle the kids in the car. The Southbank is a bus ride away, as are many of the other attractions of London. Culture is everywhere. World Music festival (free) at the Horniman on Sunday for example.

Our older one goes to the good local school, five minutes away. Through this we've met loads of lovely other mums and dads. Have built up a great social network through Mum-baby groups, school and this Forum. Is there one like this in Surrey?

A really important reason that I like living in ED/London is the racial/cultural mix. Even though we live in a culturally diverse country I am always shocked at the short distance you have to move out of London to lose this. My brother moved from North West London to Hertfordshire when they had a kid. In their son's (nice) Primary there is one black child. In his local newsagents there are piles of Daily Mails and Telegraphs. In ours there are always three piles of The Guardian.

Ann, I am so glad that you posted. I hope that we, like you, stay in ED and bring up our boys as savvy Londoners who are glad we stayed.

[BeccaL]

Ann, thank you for that post - most reassuring. Our daughter is 5 and when I was pregnant I was fed up of people asking me if we were going to move out of London... It's where we live and work - why should a baby change that. I grew up in the country and was so dependent on parents or friends to go anywhere it was a nightmare (quite how i'll feel about the level of freedom that will give my daughter when she's older remains to be seen...). I love that we can jump on the bus or train and in to galleries, museums, theatres, etc. In ED we're so lucky to have the parks and all the green space as well. I can't imagine living anywhere else...

[Dorothy]

We are definitely planning to stay in ED to bring up our children. We do have the secondary school hurdle to get over but, providing that works out ok, we will stay.

Although we are not originally from this neck of the woods ourselves, my husband met four (unconnected) friends at University who were born and brought up in Dulwich, Camberwell and Sydenham. Without exception they have all come back here to bring up their own children. It is as nice a part of London as I can imagine and I have London in my blood (having lived in the Capital - Brixton, Tulse Hill, Dalston, Balham - from the moment I left University). I am not going to be joining the exodus to Lewes or Tunbridge Wells. Oh no.

[redjam]

I grew up in Surrey - massive garden, detached house at the foot of the North Downs, a huge common outside the front of the house. It was lovely as a small child but I was bored out of my mind as a teenager. Until I was old enough to drive all the social life seemed to consist of hanging out at the local crappy shopping centre while smoking Consulates and hoping one of your mum's friends didn't come past and spot you. It was difficult to get anywhere without being ferried around by your parents as the public transport was so hopeless.

I did love the clean air and big skies where I grew up and I feel sad that my kids won't have that. But I think in the main we have the best of both worlds in East Dulwich - a nice, small-town community vibe, but all the culture and excitement of one of the world's best cities right on our doorstep. And I love the idea that my kids can nip round to their friends' houses so easily here - where I grew up it was at least a twenty-minute walk to, well, anywhere really. It was actually quite isolating. So, in my opinion, grass is not always greener, honest.

[Pickle]

Good post Snowboarder.

We moved to ED about 7 years ago now, pre-children. When I got pregnant with #1 we bought a bigger house but always talked along the lines of "we'll hang around here for the first couple of years then move", but now my kids are 3.5 and 2 and we've invested money in our house, making it into a "home" where we now plan to stay for another 10 years at least. We are lucky in some respects, as we do have a garden (smallish, but big enough for our needs).

I love East Dulwich, and honestly can't imagine living anywhere else at this point in our lives. On my annual trips to visit family in New Zealand I find myself feeling lonely, missing the fact that in ED I can wander to the local park and always find someone to talk to. Central London is so accessible, and the parks we have here are fantastic.

Our neighbours have school age kids, and I love seeing them meeting up with their friends and heading out to the park to play football. All the kids I know locally seem well adjusted, nice kids, and the sense of community is second to none.

[laam]

Sorry, I did not mean to offend here at all as I truely think ED is a great place to live, I was merely trying to be helpful to Snowboarder by telling her we had made the move successfully. There are pros and cons and I suppose it all come done to what is right for each individual family.

[Smiler]

We are leaving and sad to be moving out, but the houses with gardens are just too expensive.

[snowboarder]

Smiler yes that's just it. We have a fab house really central to Lordship Lane and I love it. But the garden is 4.5 by 6m, decked. I know we're really lucky to live where we do..and I feel a bit spoilt complaining(!)...but also the schools stress and you can't get a midwife unless you book pre conception etc. I was always vehemently with the 'stay-ers' but now I just don't know. Being a teenager in southern suburbs of Croydon was not too different to here - close to London, easy public transport, small local shopping street, just bigger houses and gardens....but I don't want to live in Croydon!!!! Anyone have friends in West Wickham? Nice-ish High Street, housing stock seems to be bigger semis with gardens, little swimming pool, cheaper than here?

I'd always thought we would stay - imagined babysb at one of the local schools etc. Oh I don't know!! laam where in Surrey are you?

[Keef]

I'm not sure we'll ever afford to buy, just weren't sensible when we were in our 20s, saved nothing, and so here we are renting.

However, we rent a place in Sydenham with a lovely little garden, on a quiet, leafy street, and it costs us ?500 or more less per month than it would in ED.

Everything I could want from ED is just down the road, but I actually much prefer it up the hill, just seems a bit mor leafy.

[littleEDfamily]

We're leaving too :-( and I cannot describe how sad I am to leave this place, but in the end, we've decided to trade the wonderful things everyone has mentioned above for space. I love entertaining and having people to stay - with kids the ultimate in socialising to me is having friends with kids around for dinner, putting the sprogs to bed and getting sloshed. We've never been able to do that in our bijoux ED house. And I want my kids to be able to chill at home with their friends as they get older (without getting in my way!)

If you can cope with a smallish house, I can't see why (other than wanting to live somewhere safer or being dissatified with the quality of schools on offer) you would ever leave ED.

For the record SB, I am not a fan of West Wickham.....racking my brains trying to think of other non-country locations for you to consider...I tend to think with London you're best to be 'in' (ie zone 2 or 1) or 'out' (rural/semi rural).

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Dulwich is fabulous if you are one of the lucky ones to have a huge garden and can send your children to private secondary school.

Dulwich is wonderfully central, there is so much for little ones to do in the way of classes/groups, plus this forum is such a good way of meeting other mums and babies.

However despite the fact that I am fifth generation of being a Dulwich resident and my son is sixth generation, I do think it has changed a lot and I am wanting to give my son a more outdoors life. We will be relocating to Sussex, and I have researched the area and was so surpised to find so many baby groups/classes/activities, and a lot of them are within 20/30 minutes walking distance.

I was impressed also by the activities such as the sailing club, abseiling and so on, all the kind of things I can see my son being part of as he becomes older.

Sussex is surrounded by beautiful little villages, towns, beaches, the Downs, and if he wants Nightlife, he has Brighton and other places.

I want him breathing better air than this London air and I want it to be normal for him to go to the beach, play in the woods and so on.

I will always love Dulwich since I have known nothing but Dulwich but as I have my son now, I do feel it would be in his benefit to be out in the country.

[born&brED]

I have very happy memories of growing up in Dulwich, like HeidiHi. I grew up near Dulwich Plough, and despite spending a lot of time at home and in our garden, we also spent a lot of time in Dulwich Park and the swimming baths. We usually caught the bus around London, back in the day when adult fares started at 40p, and child fares about 20p! East Dulwich has changed incredibly over the years, and I think it has only got better for families and those bringing up children.

As usual, however, house prices dominate the area, and it is sad to see families pushed out when it has become so family-suited. But you really can get a lot more for your money further out! We only moved to Honor Oak 3 years a go, and got a 3 bed house back then for the same as a 2 bed flat in ED. So moving further out must save you even more! I agree with Keef - up the hill in HOP/FH/Syd really does seem leafier and still so close to everything.

But really I think we're all coveting HeidiHi's/LittleEDfamily's relocation to even leafier parts!

[Smiler]

Suppose it also depends on our own upbringings - Mr Smiler had a country upbringing and would like that for his children, whereas I'm a city girl and think that big cities can be great for kids / teenagers.

For us, the main problem with moving out is that our jobs are and will stay in London, meaning commuting for both of us, which probably won't be much fun and could detract from any idyllic country dreams! It might be easier for those with one partner at home or able to get a good local job.

[Huggers]

One of the main problems of moving out is you will have to ferry your children everywhere unless you are moving to another town. I was very protective of my children when small and could never imagine a time when I would feel relaxed about them transporting themselves across south london- but they do and I am. Their access to all the wonderful things and different people of London is invaluable. There are huge parks for recreation if the garden is too small. They have been able to exercise sensible independence in a way my brothers children never were- they had to wait for their driving licences!

I was at a party in stoke newington recently talking to a couple who had relocated to the wilds of Herefordshire. They were going on about nature, and quality of this and that and their organic hens, but after a couple of drinks the woman started saying she dreamt of Stokey every night, found the countryside stultifyingly boring, they were lonely and isolated from like minded people and everyone was white. They could never afford to move back into London because the gap in prices between countryside and town and she was positively grief stricken.

I think they felt about Stoke Newington pretty much how we feel about our neck of the woods.

Be careful what you think you are getting. Schools? My friends who have moved to Kent are lucky if their children get into the grammar schools because if they don't they go to secondary moderns. There is masses more demand than supply and it's a real argument for a mixed system. Another friend who moved to an idyllic village said it was two years before anyone spoke to her at the school gate- and she is a really bubbly outgoing person.

I love it here and have no plans to go anywhere. We are building upwards so we dont have to leave our house. If I had to dig downwards I would do that too!

There are some wonderful places to move to- they are the ones already full of Londoners- Whitstable, Broadstairs, Brighton....

[Dodo1]

aHi

I would also suggest moving to Brockely- or any other stop on the Overground. I took the train to Stoke Newington (via Dalston) for the 1st time in years and it took only a hour.

Already making plans to go to Rotherhite- Brunel/ Surrey Quays- cinema & bowling and of course Hoxton.

Looking forward to the Open Cinema starting again in Dulwich Park soon. I see the cafe in the Rye was doing the Tempest last sat eve and I have plans to visit the purple cow on the South Ban- Can't think of many places you can do all this.

[aprayerforowenmeany]

I'm a ED resident of twelve years and have loved every moment of it. We now have 2 year old twins and a 5 month old baby and have extended our house as far as it can go.I really can't imagine a better place in London for little ones for all the reasons already mentioned.Three of my closest friends have relocated to Whitstable and I did the commute a few weeks ago to see if it would work. One and a half hours to Victoria! I thought it would never end. It seems I have a choice between space and time with my family. For now I'll go for being home in time for bath and bed time. School anxiety can wait.....a bit.

[jalapeno]

Both myself and my husband (country bumpkin) cannot begin to contemplate on a life in the country. We love living in london and being close to action. A weekend is all we can handle at my mother in law's "large" country house before going completely brain dead. Considering the dynamics of an area is key to a well balanced home life wherever you live - it's not always about the size of property.

All our friends live and work in London and some have smallish houses but they're adamant a move to the country is not for them. They love the idea of London being a trendy multi cultural city with plenty of amenities for all ages - there's never a dull moment! Having said that, where you choose to live is very much a personal choice and will differ from person to person.

We find the country as a place of "retreat" from our London life and that is all there is to it in our case. The pace of country life is a tad bit too slow and dull for our preference and conforming to this sort of life style long term could only make us miserable.

I apologise if my post has offended any country dwellers but this is my personal experience and the effect it has on us.

Work also dominates our decision to live in London as our professions are hard to come by anywhere outside London and a daily commute is a big NO with a young family.

SB, I do hope you find somewhere you're happy living, good luck with the search.

[prdarling]

Don't make the mistake of thinking everywhere except here has schools graded outstanding by Ofsted which are empty and just waiting to be filled! My sister in law lives in Oxfordshire (in a small town between Henley and Oxford) and couldn't get into her first choice school and we were considering moving to Berkshire for all of the reasons outlined here, only to find that the popular schools in the borough of Wokingham are being bulged to accommodate the extra children that they just can't place, while the poorer schools are being snubbed. Sound familiar?

Also I've found that house prices for what we were looking for (4 beds with a big garden) are startling similar to here - well, probably SE23 as opposed to SE22.

True you get more for your money in Beckenham, West Wickham and the like, but it's so far removed from ED that it may as well be on another planet. I go to the gym at Beckenham Spa and it feels SO far away from London!

I do like the idea of living in the country but nice houses in the country cost big money...I'm not ready (and don't think I ever will be) for the suburbs.

On the subject of secondary schools - Kingsdale has just been graded outstanding in virtually every category on its latest Ofsted, which is highly uncommon for a secondary school so I shall watch with interest

[new mother]

Interesting balanced thread.

Most of our friends live in Pimlico - there seems to have been a big movement there about 5 years ago and thgey have done commensurately well on house prices. When we needed a family house, we cldn't stretch that far but still wanted a decent amount of space, hence our move. We consider ourselves to be living "out" already!

I think there is money to be made buying prop on the new East london Line - well not exactly ON it, YKWIM.

I hadn't realised till recently that the Shoreditch stop is basically the City so you can get direct to the City or with one change to C Wharf which makes that part of London quite attractive for a one bedder maybe. What do you think? Live in ED and invest a bit near one of the new line's stops?

[snowboarder]

Pimlico - wow new mother we are in a very different league!!!

I def wouldn't consider the country - husband is from wilds of Devon and hated it - no transport etc. So its a town or (shudder) the suburbs. Or stay, and accept a patio is as good as it gets. I'm blaming facebook for this new stress by the way - pics of a friends childs birthday party with hoards of kids running round a fab garden!

Somehow the close and obv alternatives like forest hill/brockley/sydenham don't appeal. Is west wickham not nice (am fixated as have seen a lovely house!!)? PLaces further out like Reigate are just as expensive as here I reckon.