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Let's rewrite the rules of football........The Sniper Rule - Proposal # 5


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This is a rule hammered out by one Mister MockneyPiers and myself after much deliberation during a particularly boring FSA Trophy Finale.


The aim of the rule is to do away with stagnant, boring matches and force a result in most games without the need for penalties.


The proposal is this:


There will be a team of officials who asses the performance of each player during the game. They will decide who the 4 worst players on the pitch are at any one time. The players, ref and spectators will not know who is on the list.


There will be a military trained sniper installed in a roost in the grandstands. They will be armed with live ammunition or tranquilizer darts depending on the level of the game and the laws of the country it is being played in.


At the 75th minute the sniper will be instructed to shoot the player who is rated the worst. The same will happen at the 80th, 85th and 90th minutes.

Ah shure that would hold the game up like the anti modern technology heads would argue. All those stretchers going back and forth would interrupt the flow of the game. Wouldn't it be better to have hidden trapdoors in the pitch so they could just be gone without any fuss?
Oh that won?t matter as they are no longer in the game. Their presence on the field is just an extra challenge and little incentive to the remaining players. If they are capable they will of course be allowed to claw their way to the side lines where their manager can deal with them as they see fit.

DJKillaQueen Wrote:

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> hmmm will there be funding for small sunday league

> teams to acquire said rifle and bullets?


Well you know, jumpers for goal post etc.


In the case of such teams the job will be done by volunteers from the local British Legion or failing that Scout Troop, using a tranquilizer gun borrowed from the RSPCA.


The judging of who gets shot will be done by a committee from the WI as they are probably the only ones bloody minded enough for the job.

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