I now I am being silly but... support needed...

[Narnia]

Well my boy is now 19 and he has no problem giving us kisses on the cheeks when he feels so inclined. I think it's because he has spent so much time in Spain. Very heartwarming though.

[nataliemortimer]

I started with a boy and was quite nervous when I found out I was having a girl because I'm not a girly girl and wasn't sure how I would deal with ribbons in her hair etc.

While still pregnant I went shopping for her, just to get her a couple of bits and I found myself getting more and more into having a girl after walking around looking at all the clothes. Maybe it will work for you to as you look around all the gorgeous little boys outfits, pirates and dragons, racing cars and trains.... so cute!!! Lots of little "I'm a tough little dude" kit out there which will make you want to eat him up!

Enjoy! I've loved having one of each, especially as they get older and their differences become more apparent.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

My boy just turned 10 months today so I am hoping he will become more loving when he is older. At the moment his way of showing affection is usually hair pulling, or a pat on the head ( quite patronising already at such a young age!:)))

I know he loves me because he says " Mum Mum" in that rather deep voice of his, with the biggest cheeky smile and then will try to pull my glasses off.

Does anyone find that boys are more needy also? I find girls quite independent, but I find boys needier, hence us mummies feel wanted and special since our boys cannot manage without us ( or we like to think so!).

I would certainly settle for the kisses on the cheek Narnia, and the Cuddles Moos, does it count if I just cuddle and kiss him against his will with him usually resisting but smiling at the same time? I just find most boys are usually loud, with a penchant for playing with the TV, door, remote control, mobile phones and all the other things they are not supposed to play with. They don't sit still for five minutes either...unless it is just the boys I have encountered? I am also guessing he won't really want to talk shoes, and diets when he is older but at least he can carry my shopping, fix all the odd jobs around the house, and always come home to mummy and her cooking. ( and it is a touch satisfying knowing `that future girlfriends will have to match up to us very lovely mummies)

Boys and girls each bring different things into your life...and though I still would love a girl , I would not swap my boy for all the cadbury chocolate and mojitios in the world!

Mark my words Supergolden88, you will be on here after you have had your son gushing about your boy!

[Narnia]

So now you're a grown up, what's changed HH?

[Helen GV]

My guess is that when he arrives you will just see him as your baby, rather than BOY NOT GIRL! The little boys that you are seeing around the place didn't arrive that way, and you won't have to deal with any 'boy' behaviour for a while after he arrives, by which time you will know him so much better!

I was a bit worried about how I would cope with having a boy, but he's the best thing that ever happened to me. And he is SO the mummy's boy at the moment :o)

Now I am pregnant with a girl, and THAT feels strange!

Best of luck with everything x

[Moos]

HH, I'd forgotten your boy is still very little - I reckon the kisses and hugs will come.

[Saffron]

supergolden88 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I was wondering if anyone else has experienced

> similar feelings. I am getting concerned that if

> this continues I will end up resenting the baby

> and possibly getting post partum depression (in my

> case starting well in advance!)

I was really hoping for a girl when I was pregnant. We had a baby girl much to my delight, but I still got postpartum depression anyway. And, I still resent my daughter sometimes (like when she wakes up 5! times a night to b/f), even though I love her.

If you're still feeling low or fretful, I can recommend either of two very excellent acupuncturists (one male, other female) who might be able to help you. PM me for details if interested.

There is no black-and-white when raising children, and the very fact that you express concern shows already that you do love and will love your children. If you didn't care, you wouldn't worry!

Have a lovely pregnancy, birth, and beyond.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Not much has changed Narnia, still the same, just an older and wiser version with my own little mini me to content with.

Moos, I am hoping the loving will change from hair pulling to kisses and cuddles as he gets older.

Supergolden88, sorry for hogging your thread! But as Saffron said, you will love your children because you are worrying already...x

[linzkg]

I went to bed last night thinking about this thread .. I can't tell you enough how precious my little boy is to me .. when they look up at you with those puppy dog eyes you just have to giggle to yourself because soon enough you know they will learn the art of beating their fists on their chests and being all mucho and talking in a gruff voice. I just have to hold my arms out and ask for a cuddle and he drops whatever he's doing and races across to me. I'm quite sure girls are the same - but I was also thinking about that point raised - girls (in general) do seem to be 'more independent', I know I was but my mom could always rely on my brother for kisses and cuddles.

Don't you think its nice that hubby has a son to carry the family name down? That your daughter will have a little brother to protect her? There will be 'a man of the house' if hubby is away? Trying anything here .. ;-)

I found myself last night thinking - gosh if I ever have another, never mind a girl, how will I ever love them as much as I love my little boy (now I know the answer to that all to well but just trying to stress my point.)

Watching him play with his girlfriends is funny too coz he is just different somehow - a whole new world will open up to you having a little boy around - and that's a good thing I promise!

how about you look after my little boy once a week from now on and I'll go shopping??? hehe, kidding obviously ;-)

[Keef]

Why is that Keef?I wouldn't swap my son for a girl anytime.

All I meant was that we hacve a girl, so are used to a girl, so the thought of having a boy is a bit scary. I am sure that had we had a boy, I'd find the thought of a girl a bit scary.

[snowboarder]

Like HH I always wanted a little girl - always imagined having two daughters - I have a sister. I didn't find out the sex at the 20 week scan - don't know why - so the anti climatic feelings you are having now supergolden I had at the birth - alongside all the other shocks and hormones etc!! So I think it's good you know the score now and will get used to it! I still look longingly at little girls and dresses and dolls, can't help it! I don't have all these gushy feelings about my little boy and his character AS a boy rather than a girl - I now just think of him as babysb, not a little boy! I suppose you just get used to it! It makes me more relaxed about the sex of any siblings he may have though - will not mind!!

[supergolden88]

Keef

"All I meant was that we have a girl, so are used to a girl, so the thought of having a boy is a bit scary. I am sure that had we had a boy, I'd find the thought of a girl a bit scary."

That encapsulates my feelings exactly. It's what you know. The first time I knew nothing about babies. Now I have four years experience with a girl and have seen lots of girl siblings interact (for some reason most of the mums in my group had second babies that were same sex as the first).

We desperately wanted a girl the first time around and we got our wish so now we will have to adjust our expectations.

But bless my husband. I did not realise how much he loved me until he said he would consider having a third child if that made me less stressed/depressed/anxious (all the while reminding me we may get another boy). This from a man that took four years convincing to have a second child. In the abstract the possibility of another girl is helping although I never ever pictured myself having more than two.

In the meantime your posts are a huge help and I am making playdates with mums that have boys to get used to the idea!

[Keef]

I am hoping the loving will change from hair pulling to kisses and cuddles as he gets older.

Just to make you feel a bit better, my daughter constantly pulls my hair, she pulled an earring out of my ear the other day, and I ended up in A&E a couple of weeks ago when she scratched my eye, and my sight was all blurred for a week. We call her Thuggins.

She does occasionally allow me to give her a cuddle, but most of the time she is wiggling out of my arms, so she can do more mischief!

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Keef,

That made me smile...your daughter is fiery! I like that!:)) I admit I did laugh at the bit about you ending up in A and E, I can picture you telling the medical professionals that it was as a result of being attacked by your little daughter!

Babies are great, especially when they are your own, regardless of their gender.

[citizenED]

Supergolden, look at it this way. You are having a baby person, a new little personality, with all their habits and characteristics. When you look into your little male baby's eyes for the first time your love will gush forth and all your worries about gender will evaporate. You'll have a gorgeous little boy. ...so you are being slightly soppy.

[new mother]

I feel for anyone who is having difficulty conceiving or has had a mc recently reading this thread.

Separately, I read that the later one has children, the more likely to be girls....true or false in your experience?

[intexasatthe moment]

newmother - IME ,false .

[supergolden88]

I did say that feeling this way was silly and ungrateful however I could not help my reaction or ignore it. I am very aware how lucky I am to be having a baby and I dont take anything for granted.

In any case I am slowly coming to terms with having a boy. I'm not depressed or crying any more and I have announced it at work with only one mild breakdown. I am sure my hormones are not helping matters much either.

Also with regards to the older you are the more girls - sure that has got to be false as it is the sperm that determines the sex.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

New Mother, there is always people worse off and better off, Supergolden88 is sharing feelings. It is prefectly normal.

As I said I really really wanted a girl badly, I was disappointed when I found out it was a boy, and at all my scans, even the 4D one, and when I gave birth I still kept asking if it was a boy and not a girl? :)) but as I said, I loved him when I carried him ( even if I did kind of hope he would change gender whilst in the womb!) and I loved him beyond words when he was plonked onto me as soon as I gave birth, all rubber legged, white/blue, with his little alien face, confused squinty brown eyes looking at me as if to say "Are you the lady that is going to be my mum who will love and protect me forever?" the answer was 'Yes' of course and it is a pleasure being his mummy.

Today whilst I was sleeping, he planted a big kiss on my lips quite a few times and kept laughing and it just confirmed that he is my baby, my son, my boy, part of me, and everything he does is wonderful because he is mine ( even if he is a little thug at times!).

[Moos]

Supergolden88, I don't think it's fair to be made to feel guilty for your disappointment. Goodness knows there may be many, many people reading all of our chatter in the family room as we grumble about our children, who long to have kids. That doesn't invalidate your feelings or make them inappropriate in any way. I hope we all count our blessings, but that's not to say we aren't allowed to have negative feelings also about our children, it's part of life. I honour and appreciate your frankness.

[prdarling]

I have two boys and could never imagine not having a girl. I was thrilled with a boy first time around as ever single one of my friends has a boy so it was perfect, I was equally thrilled with my second son as I did like the idea of same sex siblings but I was always convinced that I would have a third baby and it would be a girl.

Third baby more or less out of window as we are looking to buy a new house which will mean that I will have to keep working (am self employed) and time is running out as am the wrong end of my thirties but and I am really starting to mourn the loss of a baby I will probably never have.

I have turned into a real 'Peggy Mitchell' about my boys and I love them more than anything, but part of me can't let go of the idea of a little girl

Perfectly normal to feel as you do. As you can see from all the responses on hear - well done for raising it

PRD

PS little boys really do rule the school - I understand your nerves but they are lovely little creatures with the added bonus that they won't hate you when they are teenagers...result!

[Keef]

I don't think new mother was trying to make anyone feel guilty, she had just spared a thought for those less fortunate.

A couple of years ago, there was a thread in the Lounge (before the Family Rom was born), called why having kids is the best thing ever.

Noone in that thread had said anything bad, but I hated every single one of them, and some of them were people that I consider friends in real life.

[Moos]

I'm sure newmother didn't mean to make anyone feel guilty, but a moment's thought would have concluded that it was the only possible outcome from the comment in that context!

I posted on that thread you hated, and don't give a damn if you or anyone else didn't like it.

[Moos]

Actually, on reflection I owe newmother an apology for my last post - it was a minor comment and I didn't mean to have a go at her for it. Sorry.

[Keef]

And indeed why would you?

And I disagree, I think she just made a comment after it daned on her that there may be people out there who are not so lucky. That is not to say anyone should feel guilty, it just struck me as thoughtful.